Haradin Hurcule XVI

Name: Haradin Hurcule XVI

Age: 27

Race: Human

Sex: Male

Hair: long and black

Eyes: Green

Weight: 175 pounds

Height: 6' 7"

Weapon:
~~~Alzian Long Sword~~~
weapon the reaches 6 feet, only the strogest of warriors can handle such a massive weapon. it was forged in the eastern mountains using the special steel only found there, Hepzta steel.

~~~Battle Knife~~~
a small weapon at 6 inches, it is used to stab people in the coraded or juggular artery when in close quarters.

Armor:
~~~Royal Alzian Armour~~~
Armour of the Royal Family of Alzio which includes chain male underneath articulating plate amour which is gold plated where the amour sticks out, also made of the strong Hepzta steel. Only royals and nobles are allowed to ware this armour let alone afford it.

~~~Royal Shield~~~
Also made of Hepzta steel. with a crest on it mountain forest ocean and fire in the middle.

Strengths: he can lead, when he orders people fallow.
being that his armor and sword is made of the hepzta steel it can resist most attacks, arrows bounce off and sword slashes glance off with little to no damage done, due to its good balance of carbon and other elements making it flexible and tough.
he is fearless before he had the royal armor he would rush into battle and kill with out thinking twice.
in addition to being an excellent swordsmen he is also a great diplomat and talk himself out of almost any situation.

Weakness:
cannot lead with his right leg due to that fact that it was broken, and never properly healed, which means he has to fight in an awkward position, making his sword hits not as strong as they should be.
Hepzta steel is heavy so when he does move on his legs it is slow.
One bad thing about Hepzta steel is it has a low meting temperature at about 850 degrees F, compared to a much weaker steel Sutzta at 1600 degrees F.

Skills/Magic: no magic.

Appearance: Haradin wares Royal Alzian Armour a white and green robe the colors of this people with the crest mountain forest ocean and fire in the middle he has a beard black, no mustache his nose is crooked from a battle long ago fought and is often stained with the blood of his enemies. He is also extremly muscular.

Personality:
when meeting new people he likes to command the conversations and find out what kind of people they are, when he does he lets up and relaxes more.
he doesn't like to play games, he is not this way on the battlefield he will try to trick and confuse his enemies before ordering the final advance.
he likes to control things is personally fighting at the front of every battle.
he believes that his local star is god and prays to him before and after battles.
has 24 kids with 14 women (it's good to be the king lol), he is a meat and fruit eater and rarely eats vegetables.
kind, would do anything to protect his family, he considers all of Alzio part of his family.
forever loyal to his country and everything it stands for, "United for Peace".
always willing and ready to learn and teach.
he likes women too much, sometimes they distract him from what he is doing.
he is afraid of water because he almost drowned as a boy.
he despises laziness to the point where he nearly beat his oldest son to death for refusing to bring him his sword.

Biography: Haradin son of Ordajian and Heniss was born in 955 AH (After Haradin I aka Haradin the Great) and took over his father's thron after he died in battle against the Gangins at Borius in 976 AH. He was brought up with war all around him he even lead a small division of cavalry in 970 at the battle for Kilimesh plain, his dogs Aken and Broden road with him when he killed his first man then. He lives on the planet Grisima IV (Grisima being the local star IV being the 4th planet out from the star) and rules the Land of Alzio which he united after capturing the Capital City of Gangula, Geldis Galhem, and beheading it's King Markus Galugian V, he already ruled over the other country Oritus but that was becasue his dad Ordajian took it over. so now he presides over an expanding empire he builds roads orders theaters constructed standardize schools and so on. Above all Haradin is a fair person and believes second chances are found in the army which is on a feudal type system.

M'kay, I want you to study some other character profiles. A little homework here before we continue. I want you to study five characters. You can look at mine which you can find in here and Drammor's characters: Tierra Nena, Kylie Wild, Aevukepe, Omentus Anima, and Tarnogh. I'd prefer if you studied a little of both our characters. Variety is the spice of life and you can learn different things by looking at each our characters. Once you have studied five of our characters come and tell me how you could improve your character. By asking you to study these I am by no means asking you to copy us or be as detailed. Each person has their own style of profiling. These are just examples to learn from because it seems you could benefit by seeing what has been done to get you started.

well I fixed it in the way I think you wanted.

Much better. But there's still a few things to work on.

it was forged in the eastern mountains using the special steel only found there, Hepzta steel.

What makes Hepzta a special steel? You'll want to include its properties.

I want you to study two characters of mine again. Focus particularly on their strengths, weaknesses, and personality sections, and then come and see what you could add on yours to improve it. I want you to study Kai and Rontu. I also want you to take a look at Rontu's weapon which is also made out of a special steel and consider what details you should include about your Hepzta steel.

Okay I added some properties of the Hepzta steel.

Okay, that's better, but you only seemed to add the strengths and weaknesses of the Hepzta steel. Of course it affects your character but you also need to add in more strengths and weaknesses of Haradin. I was hoping that in having you study my characters that you would be able to understand what I'm looking for in those areas. Also, you haven't added anything new to his personality section. Give me a better idea of your character is like. What you've provided is hardly useful. I was also hoping my characters would give you a good example. It doesn't have to copy mine or be nearly as long. It's just an example of what you should generally aim for. So I need you to give it another try in these sections.

there how is that, and in the future if you want something fixed, just tell the person flat out, please don't be all cryptic.

I did tell you; there's no need to get defensive about this. If you didn't understand what I was asking for don't be afraid to ask me to explain farther. By being "cryptic" I was trying to help you learn rather than obeying my instructions mindlessly. By observing other people's characters I was hoping you would take note. I told you they were examples for a reason, and that reason was for you to work it out on your own. I think it's best to learn it that way. It sticks rather than going in one ear and out the other, so to speak. I'm here to help you, so don't be afraid to ask more questions and don't feel bad if you misunderstood because of my poor explanation. Just try again and remember to ask for clarification.

So ... back to business.

Your weaknesses could use a little more work, but I think if you just added more details to one of them that it'll work out just fine.

cannot run due to a bone in his leg that is messed up

What you mean by this is that his movement is somewhat impaired because of the injured leg. So it's safe to say he won't be very fast in other ways than running. "Cannot run" is rather vague. So I want you to think of how the injured leg impairs his fighting in more detailed ways. I'm sure there's different movements other than running that will be affected.

His personality still seems rather vague. I think he's rather weakly developed in that way. Have you studied mine and Drammor's character's personalities? Try and again and really think about the kinds of things we included in their personalities. I usually like to start with the first impressions they give when other characters first meet them and then do deeper into their inner feelings and thoughts that they don't always express often. And the part about women and water in his weaknesses section seems more fit for his personality, you should move them into that section.

ok editing completed I hope this one works.

Okay, this is good enough.

*Approved*

cool. what do I do now?

You should go here to the Dome, the battle school. For more information about the Dome look here. And this is the general battle school area.