Lachyn the Wanderer

Name: Lachyn

Age: 17

Race: Human

Sex: Male

Hair: Dark-chestnut-reddish (depends on the light)

Eyes: Hazel

Weight: 150 pounds

Height: 5'10''

Weapon: He has a broadsword which he uses for most fighting. He also carries a staff which can create a shockwave, but he rarely uses it.
Armor: He wear gauntlets, greaves, and breastplate from ordinary plate mail, with chainmail underneath but no other defenses, not even a shield.

Strengths: He is very much a physically strong character. He's skilled with the use of his sword and can block quite well. He's quite charismatic and can often bend the wills of others without resorting to violence. If he can corner an opponent, he almost always beat them.

Weakness: His heavy armor makes him slow and awkward in some situations. Due to a head injury (see the biography), he can sometimes lose his thread, even forget what he was doing in the middle of a battle, and will on occasion become dizzy for no visible reason, which impairs his fighting.

Appearance: Lachyn has distinct features and a closed face. He wears red and black with his silver armor, and usually wears a red hat with a silver band and crow's feathers. He will often have a healing potion or two with him.

Personality: He has a somewhat proud manner, which despite his great charisma can sometimes cause people to dislike him. When he's right, he tends to be a little smug, and even when he's wrong he's very stubborn and rarely apologizes. If he argues with someone, more often than not it will end in blows due to these qualities. When taunted, he'll become very angry, which lends him more strength but can also end up putting him at a disadvantage because he doesn't think rationally.
Despite all this, he's quite friendly when he doesn't disagree with someone, and usually trustworthy. Most of the battles he seeks out are in friendly competition, rather than out of actual anger, and however he reacts in an argument, he usually takes losing in battle in stride and accepts that his opponent did well. He's almost as different person outside of battle, and can be a good entertainer if he's in a good mood.

Biography:
Lachyn left home at fourteen after an argument with his father. He was joined by his sister, Kellith, who agreed with him. Both of them were good at performing and had something of a talent at music, so they spent some time as traveling minstrels, going from one town to the next and singing of heroes and bravery of the past. They never returned to the town where they grew up.
Lachyn first discovered his talent for battle when a band of rogues on the road attacked Kellith. He defended her and sent the rogues running. At some point, one of them must have talked, because he began to find himself challenged to battles, competitions of fighting prowess. He never sought out fights, but he did accept them when someone challenged him. As they traveled, he taught Kellith to fight as well, so that if they were ever separated, she could defend herself.
About two years after they left home, he was challenged by a man who claimed to be the Master of Battle. Lachyn fought him and bested him. As a prize, he was given a medallion which, or so the former Master said, increased one's battle skills. Lachyn found that this was the case, but he also found out that, more and more, he wanted to fight. What he didn't realize was that the medallion brought out his worst qualities: his pride, his stubbornness, and his quick temper.
Kellith saw these changes, and became less and less tolerant of them as time went on. Several months after Lachyn obtained the medallion, she took it and left. Without the medallion, he had no more desire for battle. He was sorry for what he'd done, and began to look for his sister. He still sang and played at town, but the songs he sang now were sad ones.
It was at an inn one night, as he was finishing performing, that he heard of the Dome, the greatest school of battle in the world, and its Battle Arena, with fights the people traveled hundred of miles to watch or participate in. He thought of Kellith, and how she had enjoyed the battles as much as he had, before he'd found the medallion. Then he thought of the medallion, and how it made a person hungry for battle.
So, Lachyn traveled to the Dome, to train in battle and see if he could find his sister there...

Okay, firstly I would like more details on the staff, how he uses it and how it works. And he's a minstrel with plate armour?

I also see a small contradiction here -- in the strengths section you say that he's charismatic and can bend the will of others without violence, but the personality section gives the impression that he's very easily irritable.

Weaknesses need a bit of work, you need to add what he's not good at, just how you included what he's good at in strength.

The personality section needs a lot of work.

Reading the bio I have the following comments to make. The argument between Lachyn and his father is the reason he left home, but you never say what it was about. If the argument was so important, you should add more detail. Also, what was his life like before fourteen? Was he happy growing up? Did he like music from a young age? Etc.

Lastly, if he is a travelling minstrel, then his instument must be a very important part of his life. So you need to add information about it in his profile.

Thank you--could you tell me what needs work in the personality section? I'm sorry, I'm just terrible at self-editing. :/

>< I'm so sorry, I meant the appearance section. Personality is very good, no need to change anything there. I meant to say appearance.

Sorry again. ^^;

That's alright, thanks again! Try this one ;P

Name: Lachyn

Age: 17

Race: Human

Sex: Male

Hair: Dark-chestnut-reddish (depends on the light)

Eyes: Hazel

Weight: 150 pounds

Height: 5'10''

Weapon: He has a broadsword which he uses for most fighting. He also carries a staff which can create a shockwave, but he rarely uses it. It's called the Thunder Staff and is supposed to contain the energy of a thunderstorm within it, but its energy can only be recharged by a very powerful storm, and if its energy is ever entirely depleted, it will shatter and could leave him unable to fight forever.
Armor: He wear gauntlets, greaves, and breastplate from ordinary plate mail, with chainmail underneath but no other defenses, not even a shield.

Strengths: He is very much a physically strong character. He's skilled with the use of his sword and can block quite well. He's quite charismatic and can often bend the wills of others without resorting to violence, at least when he's not angry with them already. If he can corner an opponent, he almost always beats them.

Weakness: His heavy armor makes him slow and awkward in some situations. Due to a head injury (see the biography), he can sometimes lose his thread, even forget what he was doing in the middle of a battle, and will on occasion become dizzy for no visible reason, which impairs his fighting. He hesitates to injure any woman, even those who are ruthless fighters. He can't thrust or stab well with his sword.

Appearance: Lachyn has a slightly long nose and high cheekbones, and there is a scar on his temple from the injury he received when he was younger. His emotions don't show on his face except when he laughs. He wears a red tunic with black sleeves and leggings, black boots and a black belt with silver buckles, and sometimes a red cape, as well as a red hat with crow's feathers (think Robin Hood style) in a silver pin, which he usually wears at an angle to hide his scar. He will often have a healing potion or two with him.

Lachyn's Music: Lachyn's favorite songs are the story songs passed down as lessons in his family. His lute was given to him when he was twelve. It is very worn and has been repaired several times. He's also skilled at composing his own tunes, though none of the songs have ever been written down. He plays from memory, never from written music. While he was traveling (see biography), his only income came from playing in the towns he stopped and and being given spare change for his music.

Personality: He has a somewhat proud manner, which despite his great charisma can sometimes cause people to dislike him. When he's right, he tends to be a little smug, and even when he's wrong he's very stubborn and rarely apologizes. If he argues with someone, more often than not it will end in blows due to these qualities. When taunted, he'll become very angry, which lends him more strength but can also end up putting him at a disadvantage because he doesn't think rationally.
Despite all this, he's quite friendly when he doesn't disagree with someone, and usually trustworthy. Most of the battles he seeks out are in friendly competition, rather than out of actual anger, and however he reacts in an argument, he usually takes losing in battle in stride and accepts that his opponent did well. He's almost a different person outside of battle.

Biography:
Lachyn grew up in a small town, in the same house his mother had lived in as a child. His father came from the nearest large town, and the men in his line had always been fighters in some form, whether they were guards, knights, or mercenaries. Lachyn was very close to his twin sister, Kellith, and the two often knew what the other was thinking or feeling if if they were separated. Both could often sense where the other one was, or at least estimate a distance between them.
He inherited his mother's love of music, as did Kellith. From when he was very small, he liked hearing about the tales of old, and always remembered all the songs. He and his sister could both sing fairly well. She knew how to play the flute, or her preferred harp, while he favored the lute but could also play the violin. As they never did anything without each other, they were both trained in music by their mother, and in battle by their father. Both showed considerable talent from a young age, but Lachyn refused to believe he was cut out to be a fighter.
Lachyn frequently clashed with his father over the point of making a living. He waned to be a minstrel, but his father demanded that he become a fighter. At fourteen, he took his armor, his lute, and all the money he'd saved up and left home after the most violent argument yet, which had very nearly come to a fist-fight at its head. He was joined by Kellith, who agreed with him. They spent some time as traveling minstrels, going from one town to the next and singing of heroes and bravery of the past. They never returned to the town where they grew up.
Lachyn first discovered the level of talent for battle he did have when a band of rogues on the road attacked Kellith. He defended her and sent the rogues running, though in the fight, being rather rusty with his skills, he was injured by a blow to the head and the ill effects never left him completely. At some point, one of them must have talked, because he began to find himself challenged to battles, competitions of fighting prowess. He never sought out fights, but he did accept them when someone challenged him.
About two years after they left home, he was challenged by a man who claimed to be the Master of Battle. Lachyn fought him and bested him. As a prize, he was given a medallion which, or so the former Master said, increased one's battle skills. Lachyn found that this was the case, but he also found out that, more and more, he wanted to fight. What he didn't realize was that the medallion brought out his worst qualities: his pride, his stubbornness, and his quick temper. Also unbeknownst to him, this was around the time when his close mental connection to Kellith was severed.
Kellith saw these changes, and became less and less tolerant of them as time went on. She tried to tell him to get rid of the medallion, but he refused her every time and sometimes even became angry with her, which had never happened previosuly. Several months after Lachyn obtained the medallion, she took it and left. Without the medallion, he had no more desire for battle. He was sorry for what he'd done, and began to look for his sister. He still sang and played at town, but the songs he sang now were sad ones.
It was at an inn one night, as he was finishing performing, that he heard of the Dome, the greatest school of battle in the world, and its Battle Arena, with fights the people traveled hundred of miles to watch or participate in. He thought of Kellith, and how she had enjoyed the battles as much as he had, before he'd found the medallion. Then he thought of the medallion, and how it made a person hungry for battle.
So, Lachyn traveled to the Dome, to train in battle and see if he could find his sister there...

Very good. And as for the hat, I think you meant a beret.

*approves*

Welcome to the Escapist's Haven. ^^

Thank you! Though I'm not sure berets have feathers...
I'm happy to be here!