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Old 06-06-2006, 05:11 AM
Durion United_States Durion is offline
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Zohik

All original -

Name: Zohik Durion
Age: 36
Race: "Setorion" The Setorion Race is a very vile, cruel and evil race which are conflicting with the opposing "Saken" Race. Sakens are the complete oppostie of Setorions and are good, have manners, and reason much better. Though Setorions are knwon to be incredibly sterong when angered, it is quite hard to anger one.

A Setorion have a full body tattoo that are marks of strength. Only if a Setorion is able to obtain all tattoos may he be freed from his title and have his own. Zohik has obtained this and prefers not to be called a Setorion. Although he is proud of his race, he would much rather be called by his given name after succeeding.
Title: Incessant Warrior
Gender: Male
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 260lbs
Eyes: Black and red swirls
Hair: Black smooth hair
Elemental Affinity: Darkness
_____________________________________________

Appearance: Zohik
_____________________________________________

Weapon:

Name:Arlick
Discription: This sword Which Zohik has no control over but yet is able to wield it. The sword of the Setorions. Though anyone can use it, you must be careful. It tends to get longer and shorter to an extent. Three to five feet changes.

Name: Chikota Long Bow
Discription: An amazing Long Bow made out of a strong Crimson Steel. It Shoots within many yards of range, peircing anything it hits.
____________________________________________

Strengths:
Zohik has been trained as if a god in ranged attacks with his bow. The Setorions race had been at war with the Saken race and as such would happen, the Sakens could fly. A Setorions bow is very instinctively used in battle.

Darkness. Many people know the fact that darkness is evil. Many illusions and mind tricks are led from darkness. This can either help him in battle or annoy his enemy very badly.

Hand-to-hand combat isn't a strong point of Zohik. Since his Arlick is a weapon of great power, he usually doesn't have to conform himself to using this style of battle. Sometimes he is forced to, and when he is, he is especially good at it.


Weaknesses:
Ranged weapons are one of the key powers behind a Setorion's strength. Because of this fact, Zohik has put forth great time and effort in order to combat almost every ranged weapon. Though almost all closed ranged attacks he has trouble with. Do to his speed he has an easier time dodging, rather then blocking his opponent's attacks

Setorions are prone to Ice attacks. Though this may spark an idea to the opposing force, they have many tricks to protect themselves. The Saken race are masters of ice, this showing, how in the war they won.

Illusions stun Zohik for many a time. His mind goes blank and only if he were to see it again could he escape. The stun doesn't always happen, though he is very weak against mind tricks.

____________________________________________
Armor:

Normal Black Gi
He usually doesn't have a top on for it provides less movement speed, also providing him with less heat, the less heat one his skin and flesh the more strength he has. This armor is weighted meaning if he took it off he would be much faster.

____________________________________________

Accessories:

Name:Crimson Shantu (Weapon)
Discription: This curved dagger is kept hidden on if he is caught off guard. The speed he can use this weapon is unmatchable for it's light feeling makes him able to even move faster. .

____________________________________________

Tehniques:

Darkness Spin
Zohik spins on his toes unimaginably quickly, his Arlick extended outward. Due to the ripples that this makes in the air, a tornado of darkness forms around him, the tornado expanding at a fairly decent rate and slicing up everything that it goes over with the slashing winds.The darkness, if hitting his opponent will act as an illusion, as though the opposing character has fallen into another world, but in reality they look like a vegetable.

Shadow Barrier
Zohik draws upon the power of the shadows inside him and fuses it with the surrounding aura; the resulting mix creates a barrier and cuts down all attacks for 2 turns. Though his battle aura diminishes for about 5 posts, this making his unable to use the ability till then.

Dark Flow
Just a simple healing ability. Zohik loses all defects and gains back 50% of his health. Can be used three times.


History:
Deep, within the caverns of the earth, laid the Setorions. A fallen race. A war between the Sakens and the Setorions had just had it's outcome. The Sakens had won and the setorions, retreated, only mean survived, no hope of their line going on. Some though it would be somewhat better to have haflbreeds between themselves and the human race. others thought differently about such matters. Zohik, the last Setorion general from the war sat in a dark corner, counting the stones on the prison-like walls.

He still wore the powerful armor from the war, having a black gi rest under it. He wondered what went wrong. Flashes of the battle went through his mind.

"We were winning. . . the sakens, they were flying, flaming arrows shot into the sky killed many and then a blue light?. . . what was the blue light?"

Zohik thought long and hard about the war. Everyone starred at him. They thoguht they knew what he was thinking about, but they had no clue. A young setorion boy, never having been in battle walked up to Zohik, not knowing what he was getting himself into. Whipping out Arlick the boy's flesh ripped at the bicep. He yelped out in pain and fell to his kness. Zohik stood, towering over him. The boy's arm healed instantly and a scar appeared. They pain remained, so it seemed, and the boy looked up at Zohik and hissed, his pupils dialating instantly. Zohik laughed slightly as the boy ran off. His first "Setro", the setorion name for Tattoos.

During the battles, Zohik heard rumors that the Setorion leader snuck into the Saken dome and die to the prince of the Sakens. A young boy, defeating his leader. Zohik didn't want to believe it. He yelled with rage and punched the stone wall. His eyes grew a raging red and he unsheathed his sword and marched out of the cavern. Thousands of steps laid before him on the spiral stair case to the earth's surface.

Coming to the twenty foot dorway, Zohik pushed at the thick doors and slowly they creeked open. the angle came when he walked into a blistering light. So bright to his adjusted eyes that he fell to the ground covering them. slowly he cracked them and squinted. His head throbbed with the pulse of his blood and his sinuses pinched. He screamed out a bloodcurdling sound and stood, opening his eyes, and started to walk. He stabbed his sword into the ground ext to a river and drank.

"I will find you! Prince of Sakens!"

Now, he ventures into the changed world.
Last Edited by Durion; 06-10-2006 at 10:54 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 06-08-2006, 02:31 AM
Tiroth United Kingdom Tiroth is offline
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Re: Zohik

No, you need disapproval. Go read the rules of ZU and the Character Approval Policy, then re-write the whole thing. Preferably in one post.
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Old 06-08-2006, 02:13 PM
Durion United_States Durion is offline
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Re: Zohik

Please excuse me. When I was last here the character limit was much smaller. ::Edited::
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Last Edited by Durion; 06-08-2006 at 02:27 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-08-2006, 02:37 PM
Abaddon United_States Abaddon is offline
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Re: Zohik

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiroth
No, you need disapproval. Go read the rules of ZU and the Character Approval Policy, then re-write the whole thing. Preferably in one post.
Not to be a jerk, but I do believe that even though this format he's done his character in is a little different from the one you guys use as a default, this does, in fact cover everything and more. It's really an awesome character that shouldn't be held up.

I honestly don't see what the huge deal is.
Last Edited by Abaddon; 06-08-2006 at 02:45 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-08-2006, 02:58 PM
Durion United_States Durion is offline
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Re: Zohik

::Edited::
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Old 06-09-2006, 04:08 AM
Tiroth United Kingdom Tiroth is offline
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Re: Zohik

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abaddon
Not to be a jerk, but I do believe that even though this format he's done his character in is a little different from the one you guys use as a default, this does, in fact cover everything and more. It's really an awesome character that shouldn't be held up.

I honestly don't see what the huge deal is.
1) I think you need to read the rules. Posting in another person's Character Approval thread is not allowed. Don't do it again.

2) The format set up is for ease of use. I know what to look for, and where to look for it. If everyone starts using their own formats, no matter how comprehensive, it means a hell of a lot more work for me. Comprende?

Durion, the first thing I want you to do is expand the Strengths and Weaknesses sections. Explain what each one means in that section, in full sentences, rather than giving us a list. Second, I'd like you to merge some of the less useful categories you have there - for instance, Philosophy and Prejudices really belong in Personality. So do a few other things, but I'll leave exactly what up to you.

While you're sorting that out, I'll go through the rest of it and see if anything else really needs fixing (sorry for the wait, but it's a pretty long character). I'll get back to you as soon as you're done. Okay?
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Old 06-09-2006, 02:44 PM
Durion United_States Durion is offline
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Re: Zohik

I do not wish to sound rude, however, you'd like me to be more specific, though you mention My work being too specific. I organized everything in specific catagories, The Philosophy and Prejudices are fine. They make it much easier to understand the character. And tell what they are. They do go under character personality, you are correct, however I'd rather not merge.

::Edited::
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Old 06-10-2006, 10:46 AM
Tiroth United Kingdom Tiroth is offline
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Re: Zohik

Quote:
Originally Posted by Durion
I do not wish to sound rude, however, you'd like me to be more specific, though you mention My work being too specific. I organized everything in specific catagories, The Philosophy and Prejudices are fine. They make it much easier to understand the character. And tell what they are. They do go under character personality, you are correct, however I'd rather not merge.

::Edited::
What you have done is put information that a lot of people include anyway in six different sections instead of one. It doesn't make it any easier to understand, and it does make things more difficult to find. Please do as I have asked you.

Incidentally, why did you remove your Strengths and Weaknesses sections instead of expanding them? Oh, and each of those "technigues" you have listed need to have a negative side attached to them.
__________________

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Old 06-10-2006, 11:11 AM
Durion United_States Durion is offline
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Re: Zohik

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiroth
What you have done is put information that a lot of people include anyway in six different sections instead of one. It doesn't make it any easier to understand, and it does make things more difficult to find. Please do as I have asked you.

Incidentally, why did you remove your Strengths and Weaknesses sections instead of expanding them? Oh, and each of those "technigues" you have listed need to have a negative side attached to them.
Alright, I will admit that I should add in strengths and weaknesses as well as weaken the abilities as you said. I can do that.

But, at the time, I feel I need a second opinion upon the format. Abaddon posted a character (Seryth) that used a format almost identical to this one and was approved promptly. I believe that because of this, this character should be approved as well (or at least I request a second opinion).

Don't take me the wrong way. I believe you are doing a fine job, but I just feel that the format ordeal is a bit far out.
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Old 06-10-2006, 12:04 PM
Tiroth United Kingdom Tiroth is offline
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Re: Zohik

Second opinions don't happen much around here. And I'm not Safer; my standards are a little different.

If you can sort out the Strengths/Weaknesses thing, we can take care of the format afterwards, and I can have a proper run-through on the Bio.
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Old 06-10-2006, 10:55 PM
Durion United_States Durion is offline
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Re: Zohik

~Edited!~

Tiroth, I apologize for my reaction to your judgement and will follow your instructions. Please tell me your thoguhts on the new character format.
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Old 06-11-2006, 09:55 AM
Tiroth United Kingdom Tiroth is offline
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Re: Zohik

You just re-wrote the whole thing, didn't you?

I see no problems with this. You are free to go.

*approves*
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Old 06-11-2006, 12:31 PM
Durion United_States Durion is offline
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Re: Zohik

Thanks, and Yes I rewrote it all but he needed it.
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