My character

Name: Kyle
Age: 22
Race: Human
Sex: Male
Hair: Blonde Brown
Eyes: Lime Green
Wieght: 155 lbs.
Height: 5'8

Weapons: Hook Sword and Dark Magic

Strengths: He is very Powerful with his Hook Sword and very well useful for his Dark Magic. He can combine his Hook Sword and Magic and Form the Dark Blade when in Battle.

Weakness: When taken a few hits his magic may not work for a few times but when he ie very weak he can't use his magic at all. if his enemy has magic like kyle then cast a spell on him then he may not use his magic for a period of time. His magic is limited cause it depends on what kind of atmosphere he is in when in battle. When very weak he can't use his magic at all. His magic can't not be used all the time cause he can't control his magic and can fail to operate with him. His magic can turn agasint him sometimes and can damage him self.


Skills/Magic: Kyle can perform combos with his sowrd like the three swing attack, which is that he grabs someone throws him with the sword and does this action two more times this is his most powerful attack that he can perform
Three Swings: Grabs the person, throws him three times with his sword
Stab and Puncture: Can stab the person multiple times and then punctures him in the stomach.
Poison Ball: he can form a dark ball which will explode when he wants and it puts poison on the person.
Regular sword attacks: Basic form of sword play.
Dark Room: He can make a room go dark and be able to take advantage of his power to defeat the person.


Appearence: He wears blue jeans with a chain on his pants and has a white tank top with a black sweater. he also wear chucks and his hair is spiked up and has a scar running down his left arm and has mucsle but not much of it.

Personality: He can talk to anybody, he will react to anything he is also a very good person but get him mad your in for a rude awakening but a very well outgoing person. Kyle is sometimes lonley and thinks about his sister but Kyle can be very forgiving and he can be a brute but he can manage to see what is going on.

Biography: Kyle was born in Sento, Luken Kyle has a sister named Joyce. Kyle was the oldest and look after Joyce. He lived with his mom and his dad died of cancer when he was 9 yrs old. His mom worked alot in order to keep the Apt. that they lived in and to put food on the table. Him and his sister attended school but harley went due because kids make fun of him and his sister but they wore the same clothes cause his mom could harley buy them clothe for them to wear. For there Birthdays they would get nothing becuase the mom had no money but they knew that there present was there mom and they were very special to her. Kyle said " don't worry mom i don't need a present causei have you and Joyce" and the mom cried and hug both of them.

A few years had past by and his mom was starting to get sick cause she had worked alot to try to provide the rent and food on the table and Kyle couldn't get a job cause he never went to school nor his sister but he tried all he could to do someting for his mom he even robbed a man's wallet to help his mom but she told him not to steal that she can handle it. Three days had past by and they both knew that mom wasn't going to make but before she had past away she told kyle to go in the closet and pull out a long black coverd box and told him to open. When Kyle open the box there was his dad Hook Sword mom was saving it for Kyle when he gets older, his mom told him to take care good of his sister before she can say goodbye to her kids she was dead she had died for overworking and couldn't handle alot of stress thats was going on whiel she was working.

Two days had past away and they got picked up and they were sent to the orphanage and they got seperated and Kyle had promised his mom to protect his sister. so he fought his way through the people that were trying to seperate them and grab his sister but before he can make a dash for the door they ended up grabing Joyce and took her away and Joyce told Kyle to run that ill be ok, so Kyle ran as fast as he could and never seen Joyce again.

Now Kyle is 22 Yrs old now and is trying to find his sister Joyce and to keep that promised that he made to his mom that he will protect his sister at all times. So Kyle is on a quest in search of his Sister Joyce.

Hope you like it and tell if it has any problems Thanks

Okay - there's a few things that need working out here.

1) Please provide a reasonable weakness. An inability to hide and vulnerability to white magic (which the vast majority of characters cannot use) isn't good enough.

2) Every magical ability needs some kind of downisde to stop you using them all the time with no problems.

3) Make the Personality section longer and more detailed.

4) In the opening of the Bio, you say Kyle had "one mom". How, pray tell, would he be able to have two?

Unsubtle Hint: Change the "one mom" line.

That's all for now. I'll check back once you've made those changes.

ok im changing everything right now i just got back from conference with my friend bu690

So Kyle's main weakness is that he can't use magic if you clonk him over the head of use a spell on him? Not bad, but still not quite enough. And you still haven't given any downsides for his magical abilities. I'd also like you to explain somewhere what the point of this "Dark Sword" is. Okay?

Ok i added a little more to the downside of the magical abilities so it should meet your standards and also about the dark sword which is that when he is in alot of trouble he can form the Dark Sword and have unlimited power to magic and can have much power that he needs when in need. so i hope that was the answer you were looking for.

Bombachoo, you're not allowed to post in other people's character approval threads. Please don't do it again.

As for the character, it still needs some work.

1) You still haven't added downsides to using his magic - you've just said it has limits. Not enough.

2) Once again, you have failed to say anything relevant about the Dark Sword in your character's profile.

3) And having unlimited power is not going to get the character approved.

um i went ahead and took off Dark Sword anyway cause i couldn't come up with nothing but i'm trying to think of downside for his magic

I suppose this will do now.

*approves*

Cool thanks you so much