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Old 03-12-2006, 09:21 PM
ZeldaFanPlus United_States ZeldaFanPlus is offline
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Brather Tawn

This character is a remake of a charater I made a LONG time ago. My first BA character, in fact. She's here: Brather Tawn

Anyway, I feel I have greatly improved in my writing since then, and I would really like to change the horrible version currently in my sig.

Name: Brather Tawn
Age: 15
Race: Human
Hair: A brown so deep it's basically black. It goes down a bit past her shoulders.
Eyes: The same color as her hair. Usually half closed in an angry expression.
Weight: 140 pounds
Height: 6 feet tall, despite her age.

Weapon: A staff about six inches shorter than her and made of a VERY sturdy wood. A bit darker in color than that of Yew wood. Brather uses it as a focus and storage point of her power, thus making it a vastly magical item. It is very slippery to anyone who tries to hold it without Brather's permission.

Armor: Brather almost never wears armor, but the little bit she has is barely fit to be called such. It is a thin leather tunic that she can wear under her shirt. Also, if she is really going all out, she wears a weighted metal band around each wrist, one a bit above each ankle, and one wrapped around her neck. She believes they allow her to give more "punch" in a physical attack.

Strengths: Brather is an all out attacker. The more frustrated she becomes, the more power she puts behind her attacks. Her anger is her strength, seeming to power her beyond feats thought to be impossible. If you say she can't do something because it's impossible, she pushes to do it even more. Yes, she's mainly a hot-head. Almost everything makes her angry beyond belief. Almost to a point beyond reason.

Weaknesses: Brather has a tendency to push herself too hard. Once her initial anger burns up, she is basically a target. The best to way to beat her is to avoid making her angry. Also, her weighted bands make her very slow in the area of multiple attacks. In truth... her anger can be both her source of power and her undoing, as like all things she has a limited amount of power. She also fights crazily, (a fighting style some call the angry rabid dog style) so an area weakness in her defenses can be easily spotted at the best of times. Also, she can't fully control her magical abilities. Speaking of...

Skills/magic: Despite being aptly skilled with her staff, which she's had almost her whole life, Brather has the power of raw elements.

Fire: Brather is the most skilled in this area of elemental magic. Like her anger, her fire can flow freely around her. It is green in color, and is arguably the most used element in her arsenal. The more she uses this, the less she can attack physically, as this element requires the most amount of focus to keep in control. However, it is also the least draining of her powers, allowing her to use it for a long period of time without straining herself

Water: Brather finds this element hard to find as well as hard to control. She only uses it in the neediest of situations, and even then she hates to. The more she uses this the more she feels her anger abate, a bad thing for every battle. It drains her fast, especially with tricky manuvers.

Wind: Like fire, Brather feels the flow of this element. Although not as good with it as fire, she can use it with a fairly high rate of success. However, she finds that use of this element makes her giddy and prone to stupid ideas. Like... oh... say firing a ball of water at herself to see if she can dodge it in time... Still, she can use this relatively with no strain.

Earth: Though most of her elemental skill is with the metals within the earth, Brather finds this skill useful in temporarily catching the enemy off guard (like trapping the enemy's foot in the ground for a moment to make a blow.) The use of this skill requires a momentary pause before doing so, as earth is a hard-to-move element and can become out of control easily. It gives her a relatively hard strain to do so, and the harder moves are nearly impossible.

And finally, Unity: This is when Brather combines her elemental powers to make a flood of magic strong enough to put the others at shame. However, it is so consuming that to use it longer than five seconds would be to put Brather to death. She only uses it in the times of the strongest possible need. The total number of times she's used it? Six times in her entire life.

Personality: Though Brather is angry 98% of the time, she is generally good at heart. She'll help you in times of need, though mostly in secret. She's bad at taking credit for good things, and trying to push it on her will earn you a good punch in the face. She's usually anti-social to anyone new, and accepting in her view simply means that she won't hurt you as much... In the end, she's tough on the outside but mostly kind and forgiving on the inside. That said, she holds grudges for long periods of time. She once gave someone a horrible bruise on the stomach for something they did two years ago. She never allows herself to lose, and when she does she'll never admit to it.

Appearance: Even in the coldest weather, Brather dresses for warm weather. She always wears the same black shirt (oddly saying "I win" on the back), and black pants. Her shoes are actually worn sandals patched at the top with a mixture of flexible rubber and stretchy cloth. She almost always carries the same angry expression. Finally, she has a scar on the back of her left hand that sparks in the presence of magic (other than her own)

Her hair is parted off to the side, making it hang down before turning right and disappearing down the side of her head. Her nose is small, and her ears are pressed to the side of her head, an almost hawk-like appearance prevailing.

Biography: Brather was born an outcast inside of her town, called the Dumps, and was subject to many horrible rumors. Even as a kid, she was called a kid with no value, and was picked on constantly. Her parents were both horrible, her father a drunk and her mother too weak to stop her father from the endless beating that went on in the house.

Bullies were a constant problem for her. She had to hold back what she only could feel as something horrible every time she wanted to fight back, and instead let it stand. She knew she could take on the bullies, but she was also afraid of doing something wrong in the eyes of the townspeople, who she wished to get along with.

One day, Brather just snapped. Attacking her parents with a staff she had made in secret (the staff she holds currently, though it seems to have magically grown since then), she ran away from her town and entered the dark forest surrounding it.

She was never a good forager. Afraid that her parents would chase her and beat her for her outburst, she hid inside a hollow log and hoped never to be found. However, hunger took its tole and soon Brather couldn't help but venture outward. She was too late, however, for she was already too hungry to even see right anymore. So, n the forest, in the middle a waking nightmare induced by hunger, Brather met Krid, an evil person who claimed to have a great power for her...

For seven years she was taught things she neer dreamed of learning. The power she feared became stronger and grew to greater heights until she realized that it was a power she could use to stay alive. Krid branded her with five symbols, one on each hand, foot, and one on her forehead.

So, seven years after her attack, she reemerged with the five symbols on her body and with strange elemental powers. Upon seeing that her attack had mentally disabled her parents, a thing she had never had the intention of doing, Brather left on a quest to find out about Krid. Realizing that she was actually enslaved by the five symbols on her body, Brather broke through them and renounced Krid as her master. Enraged, she still searched him out.

And then she realized the horrible truth: Krid had been created by her dreams as a darkness to use her anger. She was her own master's creator, thus chasing him was futile. SHE was HIM! Realizing that, Brather sought to slow the anger that she always felt, and maybe become a better person.

Soon after that, Brather became a friend to Ryan, a person she had also met in her dreams. With her help, Ryan saved the Dream world from his brother, Kyle, and put a stop to nightmares.

However, not knowing whether or not the entire incident was just a dream, Brather went out hoping to find some clue as to the truth of it all...
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Last Edited by ZeldaFanPlus; 03-13-2006 at 03:16 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 03-13-2006, 05:22 AM
Tiroth United Kingdom Tiroth is offline
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Re: Brather Tawn

Hm...nice profile here. Seems to be just as I remember her. ^_^

You know, I ordinarily wouldn't let a character this powerful pass muster, but as she's a remake rather than a newbie, I think we can allow it - with one or two changes first.

1) Most of Brather's magic doesn't have any apparent downsides to it. Water as it stands is currently fine, but I would like you to add something about how draining her other magics are. Either that, or some other effect that means she won't be able to use them indefinitely.

2) Please, lengthen the Bio. It doesn't have to be an entire fic all on it's own (although I dare say you could manage that for Brather), but you've got far too little right now.

I look forward to approving this soon. ^_^
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Old 03-13-2006, 06:58 AM
ZeldaFanPlus United_States ZeldaFanPlus is offline
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Re: Brather Tawn

okay, I modified it. To tell you the truth I felt the elements were missing something, and I also agree with you: the bio was way too short.

I was tired last night and this morning I have to hurry, so I wouldn't be surprised if I'm still missing something.

I won't be using her for too many battles, really. The BA has lost some of its potency on me and the main reason I want to do this is to make my BA character look less like a five-second write up by a second grader.
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Old 03-14-2006, 07:37 AM
Tiroth United Kingdom Tiroth is offline
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Re: Brather Tawn

That will do nicely, methinks.

*approves*
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OLDIES 4 LYFE
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