Nicoli Carak

This is a remake of a character that I made quite a while ago.
Origonal Nicoli Profile

Name: Nicoli Carak
Age: 25
Race: Human and Elf mix
Sex: Male
Hair: An assortment of pitch-black and gray
Eyes: Dark brown
Weight: 160
Height: 5 ft. 11 in.

Weapons: One thin, but sturdy, short sword and a ‘very unique’ weapon.

The latter is one steel bar, about a yard long, with a wound leather grip attached in the middle. On either end, there is a bade very similar to that of a scythe with gently curved edges.

Concerning an individual example of the blade, the left side curves the most, but not quite as much as its farm implement cousin; whereas its right side barely curves at all in comparison to the near ninety-degree angle of a scythe. Both of these attributes form a blade similar to a scythe-ax hybrid; having the range and toned down angular features of the first, while having the considerable mass and inertia of the latter.
The steel of the entire piece is very smooth and reflective, especially the blades, which act as a rough mirror. If Nicoli uses his specialized abilities (see ‘skills/magic’) while holding this weapon, which he affectionately calls ‘The Windmill’, a pattern containing two interweaving spirals appears on each of the blades.

It is a strategy and technique oriented weapon. If you are untrained and attempt to use it, you are apt to cut off your own head in an effort to twirl it about your body.
However, if you are trained well in its use, it is very effective in warring and even more so in one-on-one battles.


Armor: A pair of steel plated leather gauntlets and similarly made steel forearm braces, both made to withstand and absorb with a power equivalent to that of a shield, as to rid of the need for one, since shields take up too much room on his back for Nicoli’s taste. The symbol that appears on ‘Windmill’ is etched onto both pieces. They also have a defensive/offensive strategic purpose, as does every other piece of equipment he dons.

Strengths: Nicoli is a primarily analytical fighter, essentially exerting nearly all of his mental strength into observing and reacting to his opponent(s) movements. In his mind, during a battle, it is as if nothing except for a rough semicircle around himself, his opponent(s), and the general area in which they are fighting exists. Everything else is silent, nondescript, blackness. Because of this, all of his senses heighten concerning anything within that perimeter. His reaction time is also beyond what is capable for a human, not only because of his mental strength, but because he is part elf.

Weakness: Because of the above ability, he is nearly incapable of detecting anything that is happening outside of that circle. The exact opposite of his strength is true; none of his senses will detect anything, no matter how strong, if it is outside of the circle. Albeit, the circle can expand or contract depending on his mental state. (If he loses concentration, the circle expands; if he gains concentration, the circle contracts)

It's, in a way, ironic.
If he loses concentration, he'll be able to sense more of his surroundings, but his reaction time directly against his opponent will fall.
If he gains concentration, he'll react more quickly to his opponent, but his ability to react to his surroundings will decrease.

You might, with a certain amount of preplanning, be able to fake a movement. For example, if you make a large movement, and then a smaller movement, Nicoli will probably focus primarily on the smaller movement, thinking that you are trying to conceal you intentions. Take this as you will.

Also, because of all the weight he carries on a regular basis, Nicoli cannot quickly change his physical position in a battle.

Skills/Magic: Excluding the above, Nicoli’s one “magical” ability is that he can slightly expand the physical characteristics and abilities of the weapon he is using, or anything else for that matter. For example: Nicoli is attacking you with his Windmill and you are a foot away from the blade. He suddenly lunges at you and spins his weapon with increasing ferocity. He barely misses your jugular, over rotating and off target by about six inches, much to your relief. But when you put your hand to you neck, there is a deep gash, spilling out crimson.
Essentially, he can place/extend an object or himself to a limit of a few feet without the thing being effected changing appearance. If he uses more energy, he can extend the range of this, but the effect becomes weaker. This is the primary ability of Nicoli’s second classification; he is a Wielder.
“A wielder of what?” you ask.
Well, anything that he can hold in his hands.

The blades of the Windmill also act as shields to magic.

Personality: Nicoli is very sarcastic, almost to a point where you have to know what he used to be like and/or know his life story to put up with it. He barely trusts anyone with important matters, with the exception of the people with which he has shared his story. (Those being his beloved fiancé, Eliza, his commander, Donik, and his fellow comrade in arms, Kloog [a polar bear])
In their presence, especially Eliza, he is much more laid back, and has been know to crack a joke or pull out a tin whistle at the dinner table.
His normal personality isn’t reserved, but he only speaks when necessary, taking his time to say something meaningful.

He is very duty oriented. If you give him an acceptable reason for carrying something out, he will do that with every fiber in his being. Though, of course, the definition of the word ‘acceptable’ is up to himself. Nicoli also has a very soft spot in his heart for anyone who is oppressed, especially children, as he was in a situation similar to theirs as a child. (and is still, in a way)

The personality that he dons as a front while on the road is a very gruff, darkened, stubborn, unsympathetic (with a few exceptions) demeanor; made to ward off anyone who may interfere with the task at hand.

Appearance: Nicoli wears a long black cloak, covering most of his body, which gives him a very dark and menacing appearance. He makes a point of taking it off in the presence of Eliza, as his dark personality is, in part, a front. (The cloak being a part of that front)
He has many scars from the various battles and missions that he has been assigned to, one of the reasons why he wears the cloak.
He has brown eyes and his hair is a mixture of unkempt black and gray strands. It normally lays a few inches above the neck, and on days that it is a tad too long, he ties it in a short ponytail with a string.

He usually keeps his short sword at his left side. The scabbard is black, to blend in with the cloak, and the crest on the pommel is the same as the symbol that appears on the Windmill. He has two leather sheathes tied to either end of his cloak; the top one being easily removed for easy access to the weapon. It hangs at an angle, so that Nicoli can reach the leather grip.
Nicoli will always wear his armor on the road, but he doesn’t at any other time.

Underneath the cloak, he wears a light wool shirt and pants, which is his normal casual attire.

History:
Nicoli was born to Nick, a half elf, and Mary Carak, a human, two former mercenaries. He also had a little brother named Stephen. His family owned and operated a farm in the far northern end of Dunbar, which seemed to only pull in enough profit for them to live on the next year. Yet, his parents never tried any harder to improve their farm’s turnout. This always puzzled Nicoli, not knowing that his parents built the farm as a place to settle down and retire from a long and successful carrier in an expansive organized mercenary group.

As a child, Nicoli was taught the basics of swordplay by his father. When he got older, they moved on to more difficult aspects of the art to improve his reaction time and strength. Nicoli excelled in this, waiting in brimming expectation for each new lesson.

When he turned nine, he was sent to a smith in the Northern Mercenary Territory a few hundred miles south to learn a trade other then farming, since he showed no interest in it. Once he reached there, he was greeted with disapproval. Nicoli was the youngest apprentice in the history of the smith, among the typical thirteen to eighteen crowd. He was teased and made fun of by his fellow workers, that is until the annual swordplay tournament. Entering, and winning the tournament; he gained the much needed respect he deserved.

After he was given a short sword by his master and newfound mentor, Chris, he returned to his home to find disaster. The cabin he was born and raised in was torn into with gigantic claw marks, the unmistakable work of the Eastern Cavaldun Bears; also known as the Rebel Bears. The Rebel Bears had made it their mission to rid the world of the growing menace known only as, “The Wielders”, who were said to be able to rip the fabric of space and time apart. The Rebel Bears were known to make brutal, unprovoked, attacks on the homes and businesses of those who they believed were Wielders. The destruction of Nicoli’s home was one of these such attacks.

Eventually, he was found by his grandfather’s former student, Donik, a mercenary leader. Seeing that Nicoli was understandably traumatized, he sent an urgent message to the Mercenary Chancellor, writing him that, “There is only one Carak descendant left.”
Sending off the message to the mercenary's capital, he took Nicoli to the Chancellor himself. Once he got there, Nicoli was taken into the Chancellor’s care and given the proper treatment; from that point onward, Nicoli would have almost any resource he wanted. Before he left, Donik gave an odd looking weapon to the Chancellor, saying that Nicoli should be taught how to use it when he came of age.

Nicoli met a beautiful freckled red haired girl named Eliza, the Chancellor’s only child, in the palace. She was very careful not to upset Nicoli, knowing what horrible things had happened to him, but was trying to restrain her joy that she finally had another child to play with. Nicoli found someone in Eliza who would listen to him and actually understand. He confided in her all of the things that happened to him, and all of the things before. They became fast friends and had a grand time in the palace. Even so, he always bore a scar on his mind from these events. The traumatic experience leaving much of his innocence and childhood in the dust.

For a long time after that, life was sheer bliss. He was living the life of a prince. The Chancellor treated him like a son, and Nicoli began to view all of the staff and, especially, Eliza, as his extended family. Nicoli and Eliza were both aspiring talents with the sword. They trained together and sparred daily, mostly in draws. His affection for her grew every day as he began to mature.

Once he turned 16, Donik returned and told Nicoli of the weapon that he was going to learn how to use. For the next year or so, Donik trained Nicoli in the use of what Nicoli later dubbed, The Windmill. Also during that time frame, Donik told Nicoli of what he discovered happened to his parents and brother after they were attacked. The three, he said, were taken into the Eastern Bear’s territory and killed in a most bloody fashion and then sealed away in an unknown corner of their fortress. Henceforth, Nicoli began training with an indefinable ferocity.

Once Nicoli mastered the complicated use of the Windmill, Donik began teaching him how to concentrate his thoughts on demand in situations other than battles, if necessary.

After a few years of this, both Nicoli and Eliza became full-fledged mercenaries; Nicoli going under Donik’s command, and Eliza under a special operations unit. Since then, Nicoli’s regiment has been called up on many missions, giving him many months of experience under widely varied conditions. Through this, he met Kloog, a defector from the Eastern Cavaldun Bears.

During a brief hiatus, Nicoli returned to the palace with the intention of proposing to Eliza. She said yes, and once they reach retiring age, he said they’ll settle down somewhere around the warmer plains of Eastern Dunbar

From then on, Nicoli has fought in Donik’s regiment as a heralded mercenary; stationed in an outpost in the small snowy Western Cavaldun trading town of Waeo.

(Phew, That was long...)

The only thing that bothers me is that even though his weakness is implied in all battles, it still seems not enough. I mean, can't everyone detect not much outside of the area?

Perhaps I should make it more clear that, in his mind, during a battle, there is something equivalent to a solid black wall around him and his opponent.

I will make that more clear, and I will make an additional weakness.

EDIT: Alright, I added a logical weakness and (hopefully) made that more clear.

*approved-ness*