Jabel

Name:Jabel
Race:Human
Sex:Male
Age:19
Hair:Long, White
Eyes:White
Weight:200 lbs.
Height:6 ft.

Weapon:Katana
Armor:

Strengths:He is good with the katana, he was taught by a true master and exeeded the master. He is very smart too, but the kind of smart of "Cause and Effect", he can swim and can run for a long time.
Weaknesses: He isn't that strong, if he punched a person the same age as him, they wouldn't get hurt. And he has no sense of direction. The cold is what he loathes, he is used to a warm climate, and wears little clothing.
Skills/Magic: He has this katana movement, he shifts all his energy into his katana. That gives it a red glow, then when he slashes anything, it will cut it in two peices. Though he is weak and doesn't have that much energy. And he can't cut anything that that is harder than wood.

Personality: Always interested. Daring to say the least, he would do anything to win a competition. He is kind of a bragger, when he wins something...(Well, you know)
Appearance:White, long hair goes down to his nose. He has no iris, because he was born 'The Hero of the Tribe'. He is physically fit, he has a six pack and pecs. His skin is a orange tan. He wears a cloth around his waist that goes down to the top of his knees. He also wears face painting, because it is a tribe tradition.

History: At the very minute that he was born into the Wichita tribe, his mother, father, and brother noticed that there was something different about him. His eyes had no iris, and his hair was white. They didn't know why this happened. His whole family had black hair and brown eyes. They named him Jabel. And he was made fun of by kids his age all through his childhood. Jabel would do anything to make this nightmare stop, the kids would stop teasing. That is when he decided to go the tribe's martial arts master, Neni.

Jabel: Neni! I want to learn martial arts. Please teach me!!!!
Neni: Let me see your hand.

He left out his hand, Neni was looking and examining it.

Neni: It appears that you are fitted to be using the katana.
Jabel: What did you do with my hand? And how do you know that? You don't even see me often, you only visit my parents.
Neni: Your hand print shows that you would do good with the katana, just trust me.

Neni got a katana off his wall that is filled with spears and swords

Neni: Take this, and attack whatever you think is threatning.

Jabel took the katana and held it for a while, then neni left the room. About 2 minutes after waiting, three giant spiders came swooping down from the ceiling. Jabel moved out of the way. Then he had a reflex, he just hit all three in one thrust of the katana. The spiders were dead. Then Neni came back in.

Neni: You were just confronted by golioth spiders, and it appears that you have passed my test. Now it is time for more advanced training.....

They continued to do tests and exercises everyday til his late teens. When the final test came, Jabel would do anything to win.

Neni: It is time for you final test, and if you beat me, I will tell you a secret, and tech you the most powerful move of all. Your last test is, a first blood battle, whoever bleeds first will lose. I will have the ninja sword.

Jabel excepted the challenge and then it started. Neni dashed after Jabel, Jabel jumped out of the way and Neni almost hit the wall. Jabel took a swing at Neni with his katana, but Neni blocked. Neni took a swing at Jabel, but Jabel quickly hid behind Neni's wooden post, which made Neni's sword stuck, and he couldn't get it out. Jabel took Neni's sword so he had two in his possession. Neni, looked terrified, but he wasn't finished. Kicked his sword out of Jabel's hand and back into his hand. But when it got to his hand, the katana was also in his possession. Though it was stuck through his arm. Now is whn Neni bled.
After Neni recovered, Jabel came to him.

Jabel: I want what you promised, a secret and the most powerful move I can do with the katana.

Neni: First, here's the secret. The secret is that why your eyes and hair have no color is because you were born to protect this tribe. So it is kind of like a symbol. Though no one disturbs us anymore since we built the dam 4 years ago.
And as for your new move, thrust all your energy into your katana, then swing it!

Jabel tried it. He did it perfectly. He knew this because the katana glowed red when he did it.

Jabel: Why was I born the time I did? You guys have no need for me here! It's like I was born for no reason.

Neni: Ah, I knew this was coming. It's not that you were born at the wrong time! It is that you were born in the wrong place! There are many people out there that need your help! That is what you destiny is Jabel!

So, Jabel set off on his quest to help other tribes and people. He climbed up the dam using his katana. And then he saw a new world that he never saw before. So he set off, to battle and conquere anything that came in his way.





Name: Rubin
Age: 27
Race: Human
Sex: Male
Hair: Black
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5' 11''
Weight: 158 lbs

Appearance: Rubin has long black hair that goes down down to his shoulders. He is a gothic person so he is always wearing black and even wears eyeliner. He has loose black pants and black shoes, he has a belt made with spikes. He has a goatee with a mustache. On his abdomen he wears a solid black shirt with a black overcoat.

Skills/Magic: He is a master of the dark arts, he can make any kind of storm appear. He can make it sunny, rainy, snowy, tornado, hurricane, and thunder and lightening storms. But with the little strength he has, they aren't that big.

Weapons: His spells, and daggers that can be used as duel swords or a boomerang.

Strengths: He can recite a spell in less than a second, he is skilled with his daggers. He can also play very good mind games, he can get in to people head, under people's skin. And with his look, he is very intimadating. He is fast too, but that tires him down.

Weaknesses: Worms, if he sees hem he will run after them and just dig in. He isn't that strong though, he can lift only half his weight, but has enoguth strength to penetrate skin. And if he sees a cross, he will freak out, he could die of insanity. He is demon posessed so if an exercism is attempted, he will definantley die. He also has low stamina, which can lead no little or no magic.

Personality: Mischevious, he likes to give that evil smile when he is winning a battle. He almost never talks unless he is with someoen to battle and has to say something. He likes to be alone most of the time, that how he starts battles. And since he is a witchcrafter, he is a little satanic. Things he enjoys are: Killing, slaughtering, and butchering.

History: When Rubin was born, he parents didn't want him for some reason. They put him on a strangers door step with a neclace that had his name on it. The stranger opened the door and said, "Whats this? I don't want that!" They kicked the babies casket and then it went flying, and at that very time, it was evening and was raining. No one ever found where he went because he landed in a river when he was kicked. He floated on river, and teh only thing he had to eat was a couple of crackers that his mother left behind. As he drifted down the stream a bird flew by and dropped a worm on rubin. Rubin rather have eaten the worm, so he did. He got into eating worms. When someone finally found Rubin, it was the next day. But all they did was get him out of the water and ask who this was. It ended up in the news papers and the people (it was a couple) who found him stated in the papers "We will take care of him and love him with all our hearts" The couple was pressured into saying that. And then they had to because their state law states: 'Once you announce the guardianship of a child, it becomes official'
When Rubin was four, he got caught eating worms in his backyard. And soon he started to eat spiders and grasshoppers. He refused to eat anything else. When he was ten years old, he started to wear alot of black. And soon, by the time he was fifteen, his whole closet was just black clothes. Rubin was twenty years old when he started doing witchcraft, and he was quite skilled at it at twenty-two. When he was twenty-four he made his own weapon, daggers, but they weren't any ordinary daggers, they could be extended by a press of a button to make duel swords and also re shaped and could be used as a bladed boomerang. Rubin was so abnormal by that age, he killed his so-called parents just to see if the daggers worked. And then he left town on his 'dads' motorcycle. He was demon posessed by this time. And he was just looking for people to kill.

I really have to say that this is a rather ho-hum character. I've seen so many characters with the typical "taught all his sword skills by a master swordsman" plot-line, that it's really starting to make my eyes bleed every time I see it. However, if this is the kind of character that you really want, I see no problem with it. Except...when you write dialogue between characters, just use quotes, dude. You don't have to write it like it's a screenplay or something. You also might want to paste this into MSWord and check for grammar and spelling errors. Other than that, I guess this is approved. *stamps*

EDIT: You know, looking back over it, I do think this guy is a bit overpowered for a starting character. Perhaps lower his skill with the katana and maybe make his "ultimate attack" not so ultimate.

I have revised

Okay. You still didn't fix the dialogue, but the overall profile is fine. *stamps*