Zel' Thulas

Name: Zel’ Thulas.

Age: Unknown but he looks about 40.

Race: Deathrider

Gender: Male.

Hair:: Short, black hair.

Eye Colour: Black but glow red when he attacks.

Weight: 12 stone 3

Height: 6ft 6

Weapon: An enchanted mace that allows him to use dark magic. (See attacks)

Attacks : • Glow of Darkness - Zel’ Thulas’ mace glows and then he swings it, knocking those around him to the floor.

• Power of Darkness - Zel’ Thulas raises a wall of pure darkness that absorbs the power of all who touch it and then releases the power into Zel’ Thulas.

• Bolt of Darkness – A crossbow made up of all things dark and evil appears in the hands of the deathrider. When Zel’ Thulas wants to fire a bolt at his target, a bolt filled with the hate and anger of a thousand men appears, ready to be fired. If the bolt strikes its target, the target will be filled with dark power and might not be able to withstand so much power. If this happens, the target will fall to floor and wont be able to move for a short amount of time. If the target can withstand the power beacuse they are evil themselves, the power will merely return to Zel' Thulas. The target cannot use the power.

• Ultimate Darkness – Whatever location Zel’ Thulas and his opponents are in, darkness spreads around everywhere, boosting the powers of the deathrider.

Armour: None

Strength : He is three times as strong as a normal, human man and is as quick as a charging rhino when running.

Weakness: After he swings his mace it takes him a short time to pick it up again dew to the weight of it. Also, Zel' Thulas finds it hard to stop after running and if his opponent gets out of the deathrider's path, Zel' Thulas will sometimes crash into whatever was behind the person.

Skills/Magic Ability: Zel’ Thulas is very skilled with his mace. It allows him to use dark magic. He is also very strong and very fast.

Appearance: Zel’ Thulas wears black trousers and a black cloth shirt as well as a black cloak with a hood. He wears a necklace around his neck with a silver crucifix on it. He wears a black mask to hide his scared face. He is quite tall and is thin but not too thin.

Personality: Being a deathrider, Zel’ Thulas is pure evil. He doesn’t like being told what to do and if he is within a group of people he will make sure his voice is heard. He never likes being second best at anything. If he’s not the best, things tend to get ugly. Zel' Thulas will either destroy everyone in sight or just the person that is better than him, depending on how he feels. This rarly ever happens because he only takes part in things he is good at.

History: The deathrider’s used to be one of the greatest races of all time. They consisted of dead and live warriors with unique abilities. They had a massive army that plagued the lands for years until the army was one day defeated by the power of light.

Zel’ Thulas fought in this army along side the great king of the deathrider’s. No one knew the true identity of the king; all any one knew was that when the army fell, he disappeared into the east, never to be seen again. Although the army fell, the race of the deathriders did not. Many survived the battle in witch the army fell and returned to the deathrider’s homeland. There the deathriders stay, lurking in the shadows of the farthest corners of the earth.

However, Zel’ Thulas didn’t like staying in the shadows. He preferred travelling the world, reeking havoc wherever he went. So he left his homeland.

On his travels, Zel’ Thulas found a small hut in the middle of a forest. Inside the hut lived a wizard with great powers. Zel’ Thulas knew the wizard was powerful and that if they were to fight the wizard would destroy him. So the deathrider studied with the wizard, learning about the different magics in the world. But the one magic the wizard stayed well away from was the one magic Zel’ Thulas wanted to control. Evil magic! After several years of studying with the wizard, Zel’ Thulas found a dusty old book while tidying the wizards shelves. The book was called: ‘Magical Artefacts’. Zel’ Thulas took the book from the wizard and read it carefully. He read about many different enchanted items and weapons with evil power sealed within them. Then, Zel’ Thulas saw that one of the weapons was supposedly not too far away. He told the wizard he was going on a journey to find a long lost item of legend, he didn’t tell him the item was a powerful mace with the power of an evil god sealed within it. So Zel’ Thulas began searching for the mace. He took the book with him so he knew exactly where to look. He journeyed far over mountains and seas until he finally came to a small village with hardly any protection. Being a deathrider, he was capable of single-handedly destroying the village and in the ruins he found what he was looking for. The village people knew not of the maces power and just used it for an ornament above the chief’s fire place. But when it remained intact after Zel’ Thulas attempted to destroy it, it became clear that this mace was indeed the powerful mace from the legend. Zel’ Thulas then returned to the wizard’s hut in the forest and murdered the old man in his sleep. Zel’ Thulas kept the book began hunting down over evil artefacts. He eventually want utterly mad in his search. To this day he hasn’t found any more evil artefacts but still searches for them so to become the most powerful being in the entire world.

Ok, first, add just a tad to his enchanted mace. What does it do? From the looks of it, I'm guessing that it is a darkness element weapon. Please add a little to that.

I'm also having a bit of trouble with the Bow of Darkness technique. You say that if it hits it's opponent, it drains all the power from them. I'm not sure if that's going to fly. It's ok if you keep the move, but come up with a different way for it to neutralize the opponent.

Next, you put that he is strong, even for a deathrider. That's not a wise move unless you tell us how strong a deathrider is. Give us some sort of comparison or number that we can work with. Same for his speed. I also need you to add another weakness to even him out, perhaps something that has to do with him, not his weapon.

Um, I believe you deleted a part of your skills/magic. Look at that and figure out the problem.

Expand on his personality a little bit. You say that when he isn't the best, things get ugly. Explain further. Why do they get ugly, what does he do?

Fix that up :/

I've edited it. Is it okay now?

Yes, better.

* Hits paper with "Approved" stamp*