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  #1 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 03-02-2005, 09:57 PM
Purifying Elemental Greece Purifying Elemental is offline
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Thumbs up Max

Name: Max

Race: Human

Age:10

Gender:Male

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: blue

Weigt: 96 pounds

Height: 4'9

Class: Ninja

Weapon: 20 Kunai knives,80 ninja stars(they don't do much damage, thats why he has so many) Warrior Sword named Lyser with blue streaks down the middle and Lyser iskinda skinny

Armor: none

Stengths:very fast,fights well in big areas,and his chakra(magic)is pretty high.

Weaknesses:hes still young,so physical attacks arent very powerful,can't sense hidden enimies,and is very scared when fighting a big buff guy,so he can't fight very well then.

Skills/Magic: sword slashes,
art of the doppleganger illusion(he puts his hands together and a few illusions of himself appear to confuse the enemy),
blaze of glory(he throws a barrage of fire balls, that he uses his chakra to generate, at the enemy.),
Phantom slash(he creates solid dopplegangers and slashes doing quite a bit of damage)

Personality: When he is in a battle, he tends to curse and yell if he is losing. When he is winning, sometimes he is so cocky that he trips.

Appearance: blue tunic with a sword symbol on the back of it.wears black boots,wristbands that say "Death", a torn belt, and black gloves on his hands(cut off finger sockets).his hair is kind of short,like links.

History: As a kid,bullys picked on him so he went to the local training master's dojo."Can you help me?All the kid's at school pick on me and and I need to become stronger."he said this all very quickly,so the master could not understand him."Slow down young pupil!Now....tell me your story." so Max explained carfully.Later, the master became known as Taku.after 5 years of rigorous training,he finally graduated and got his masters sword,Lyser."But master Taku,this is your family sword!" "And now my pupil, it is yours." "But- "But...nothing.now go and show those bullies whos boss!" "........yes....master.". So after that, he went on ajourney,to be the best swordsman,that there ever was.

One day while he was traveling in a town in hyrule, He heard people yelling "Fight! Fight! Fight!",so he decided to check it out. Two wannabe ninjas were fighting.
"Bring it on!" One said.
"Whats black and blue and red all over?"Asked the other ninja,hanasiko.
"What?"
"Your face!Ha, ha!"
The other ninja, sanosuke, growled, then he lunged.
"Woah! I gotta stop this fight before someone gets hurt!"Max said as he jumped into the line of fire and used art of the doppelganger illusion.
"Woah"Said the lunging ninja as he stopped, and almost tripped."How did you do that?"
"Simple. I'm not a wannabe ninja like you."Max replied.

Later, those ninjas became his allies. one day,while they were all traveling, Sanosuke noticed it was getting dark out.suddenly, lightning flashed from the sky and a horse rider flew by them with a sword, cutting sanosuke and hanasiko's arms.
"Ha, HA, HA,HA!!!!"
"Hey! Come back here dammit!" Max yelled as he started to chase the rider.

After chasing the rider for an hour, the rider finnally stopped inside a strange castle.
"What is this place?"Max asked.
"The castle of methobia. It is where I get my power!"The rider said."For I, am Gannondorf!"
"Oh ****!" Max exclaimed as a tornadoe surrounded them and they started to battle. Lyser clashed against Gannondorfs two swords and cracked a bit.
"Oh no,"Max said as his sword split into pieces."LYSER!!!!........Now....you....die!"Max charged at Ganondorf and used Blaze of glory, which was supposed to kill Gannondorf, but it didn't! As Max charged at Gannondorf,he shot a dark ball of energy at max, which knocked him out.
"Ha! Your soul is mine!" Gannondorf said as he began to suck Max's soul out of his body.
"Not today!" Sanosuke shouted and knocked Gannondorf straight into a wall.
"Ha. You are feisty little puppys aren't you? Oh well. Enough fun. I have buisness to attend to."Gannondorf said as he dissapeared.

Three days later, Max woke up. Then he and his team set out to destroy Gannondorf. Unfortunetly,Sanosuke died because of all the blood he lost following Max to the castle.Hanasiko died because he got the fiu and was infected.Now Max has to gain more power and deafeat Gannondorf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I need more history, just tell me.
__________________

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Formerly known as Dark link567.
BA Characters: [Max] [Wizard] [Flame ]
Friends: ElijahSharp and RavenX
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy and paste this in your signature. Come to this website! It RULES!!!!
Last Edited by Gaara; 05-29-2005 at 06:59 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 03-03-2005, 09:57 PM
Jeff Jeff is a male United States Jeff is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

I need more description on his appearance, weapons, skills and personality
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Old 05-26-2005, 07:12 PM
Purifying Elemental Greece Purifying Elemental is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Will someone please check it?! I have edited it!
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Formerly known as Dark link567.
BA Characters: [Max] [Wizard] [Flame ]
Friends: ElijahSharp and RavenX
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy and paste this in your signature. Come to this website! It RULES!!!!
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Old 05-26-2005, 07:39 PM
Tohopekaliga Tohopekaliga is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

The history's too short, separate sections please, and is a frightened kid really what you want to use in the BA?
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Old 05-26-2005, 08:11 PM
Purifying Elemental Greece Purifying Elemental is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Edited now!
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Sigg made by me

Formerly known as Dark link567.
BA Characters: [Max] [Wizard] [Flame ]
Friends: ElijahSharp and RavenX
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy and paste this in your signature. Come to this website! It RULES!!!!
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Old 05-26-2005, 09:38 PM
Guardian of Ice Guardian of Ice is a female United States Guardian of Ice is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Also, you need more descripition on personality, it's still kinda short. ^^ Only pointing out something for ya.
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Old 05-26-2005, 09:45 PM
Purifying Elemental Greece Purifying Elemental is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Ok.But do you mean the personality is too short, or the history?

I Bet it was the personality.
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Sigg made by me

Formerly known as Dark link567.
BA Characters: [Max] [Wizard] [Flame ]
Friends: ElijahSharp and RavenX
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy and paste this in your signature. Come to this website! It RULES!!!!
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Old 05-26-2005, 09:52 PM
Guardian of Ice Guardian of Ice is a female United States Guardian of Ice is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Yes, personality is too short. You're history to me is fine.
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Old 05-26-2005, 09:52 PM
Purifying Elemental Greece Purifying Elemental is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Okay. Gotcha'.
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Formerly known as Dark link567.
BA Characters: [Max] [Wizard] [Flame ]
Friends: ElijahSharp and RavenX
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy and paste this in your signature. Come to this website! It RULES!!!!
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Old 05-26-2005, 09:53 PM
Tohopekaliga Tohopekaliga is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

That history isn't really a history. It should be background for the character, not some random ninja fight.

And the personality isn't what he wants to do, it's how he reacts to things, speaks, carries himself, etc.
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Old 05-26-2005, 09:54 PM
Purifying Elemental Greece Purifying Elemental is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Can I have one or two more chances please? I won't bug you about it or anything.
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Formerly known as Dark link567.
BA Characters: [Max] [Wizard] [Flame ]
Friends: ElijahSharp and RavenX
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Old 05-26-2005, 09:54 PM
Tohopekaliga Tohopekaliga is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Chances? This isn't a three strike thing, you know.
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Old 05-28-2005, 06:04 PM
Purifying Elemental Greece Purifying Elemental is offline
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Talking

It is now edited!

Dark link567

Name: Max

Race: Human

Age:10

Gender:Male

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: blue

Weigt: 96 pounds

Height: 4'9

Class: Ninja

Weapon: 20 Kunai knives,80 ninja stars(they don't do much damage, thats why he has so many) Warrior Sword named Lyser with blue streaks down the middle and Lyser iskinda skinny

Armor: none

Stengths:very fast,fights well in big areas,and his chakra(magic)is pretty high.

Weaknesses:hes still young,so physical attacks arent very powerful,can't sense hidden enimies,and is very scared when fighting a big buff guy,so he can't fight very well then.

Skills/Magic: sword slashes,art of the doppleganger illusion(he puts his hands together and a few illusions of himself appear to confuse the enemy),blaze of glory(he throws a barrage of fire balls, that he uses his chakra to generate, at the enemy.),and Phantom slash(he creates dopplegangers and slashes doing quite a bit of damage)

Personality: When he is in a battle, he tends to curse and yell if he is losing. When he is winning, sometimes he is so cocky that he trips.

Appearance: blue tunic with a sword symbol on the back of it.wears black boots,wristbands that say "Death", a torn belt, and black gloves on his hands(cut off finger sockets).his hair is kind of short,like links.

History: As a kid,bullys picked on him so he went to the local training master's dojo."Can you help me?All the kid's at school pick on me and and I need to become stronger."he said this all very quickly,so the master could not understand him."Slow down young pupil!Now....tell me your story." so Max explained carfully.Later, the master became known as Taku.after 5 years of rigorous training,he finally graduated and got his masters sword,Lyser."But master Taku,this is your family sword!" "And now my pupil, it is yours." "But- "But...nothing.now go and show those bullies whos boss!" "........yes....master.". So after that, he went on ajourney,to be the best swordsman,that there ever was.

One day while he was traveling in a town in hyrule, He heard people yelling "Fight! Fight! Fight!",so he decided to check it out. Two wannabe ninjas were fighting.
"Bring it on!" One said.
"Whats black and blue and red all over?"Asked the other ninja,hanasiko.
"What?"
"Your face!Ha, ha!"
The other ninja, sanosuke, growled, then he lunged.
"Woah! I gotta stop this fight before someone gets hurt!"Max said as he jumped into the line of fire and used art of the doppelganger illusion.
"Woah"Said the lunging ninja as he stopped, and almost tripped."How did you do that?"
"Simple. I'm not a wannabe ninja like you."Max replied.

Later, those ninjas became his allies. one day,while they were all traveling, Sanosuke noticed it was getting dark out.suddenly, lightning flashed from the sky and a horse rider flew by them with a sword, cutting sanosuke and hanasiko's arms.
"Ha, HA, HA,HA!!!!"
"Hey! Come back here dammit!" Max yelled as he started to chase the rider.

After chasing the rider for an hour, the rider finnally stopped inside a strange castle.
"What is this place?"Max asked.
"The castle of methobia. It is where I get my power!"The rider said."For I, am Gannondorf!"
"Oh ****!" Max exclaimed as a tornadoe surrounded them and they started to battle. Lyser clashed against Gannondorfs two swords and cracked a bit.
"Oh no,"Max said as his sword split into pieces."LYSER!!!!........Now....you....die!"Max charged at Ganondorf and used Blaze of glory, which was supposed to kill Gannondorf, but it didn't! As Max charged at Gannondorf,he shot a dark ball of energy at max, which knocked him out.
"Ha! Your soul is mine!" Gannondorf said as he began to suck Max's soul out of his body.
"Not today!" Sanosuke shouted and knocked Gannondorf straight into a wall.
"Ha. You are feisty little puppys aren't you? Oh well. Enough fun. I have buisness to attend to."Gannondorf said as he dissapeared.

Three days later, Max woke up. Then he and his team set out to destroy Gannondorf. Unfortunetly,Sanosuke died because of all the blood he lost following Max to the castle.Hanasiko died because he got the fiu and was infected.Now Max has to gain more power and deafeat Gannondorf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I need more history, just tell me
__________________

Sigg made by me

Formerly known as Dark link567.
BA Characters: [Max] [Wizard] [Flame ]
Friends: ElijahSharp and RavenX
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy and paste this in your signature. Come to this website! It RULES!!!!
Last Edited by Gaara; 05-28-2005 at 09:50 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 05-28-2005, 06:11 PM
Tohopekaliga Tohopekaliga is offline
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Re: Sasuke(Saz-k)

Hm. Fine. Approved.

An editorial note, that history implies someone older than 10. I would say at the very least 16. But, whatever... realism isn't needed all the time.
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