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Old 09-27-2011, 12:39 PM
Vahlia Vahlia is a female Vahlia is offline
Anouki
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Fate Féir

Name: Fate Féir
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 121 lbs

Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Dark blue
Appearance: Her long hair ends at her knees, and while it is always well kept and neat in the back, her bangs are always a mess. They are not very well cut, and are always long, and sometimes getting in her eyes, but she pulls this look off quite charmingly. She has a youthful but mature face, fitting of her age. Her skin tone is rather average, not pale, nor dark. She has various small scars, but none are very noticeable other than one on her upper left leg, a long gash that looks made by a sword, and another, though smaller and not as severe is on her back. She always has a few cuts or bruises on her, but they're never in the same places. Her figure is thin, but healthy. She has a decent amount of muscle, although it isn't very notable. Embedded in the skin of the top of her right hand is a small crystal, which is the source of her power, and her curse.
Clothes: Her midnight blue dress hugs her neck, and loosely hangs down over her chest, remaining open to a small extent in the middle, and cut rather low in the back. In the front, the skirt falls only a few inches. In the back, the skirt elegantly changes from short to long in a ruffled fashion, and the color begins to fade from blue to white.
Below her blue dress, she wears a strapless dress made of black silk. Instead of the loose cover that her other dress provides, this one is more tight and form fitting, and also adds a nice layer of lace under the other. The skirt is even, and falls a couple more inches than the front of the other. Around her waist is a black sash, loosely tied in a long tailed bow on her left side.
On her arms are a pair of unattached, black, thin sleeves that tightly hug around her upper arm at the base. The elastic that holds them up is covered by frilly lace. She wears a pair of short, black fingerless gloves on her hands. Covering most of her legs are thigh-high, lacy black socks. Her lace-up boots extend only a few inches above her ankles, colored in black with white laces. The heels of these boots are thick and 3 inches high.
Around her neck are various silver necklaces, each having a sort of fancy charm. Some look like fancy stars, and others are simple diamonds. Some have multiple, and others only one. One necklace that stands out more than the others is made of black and silver beads, it is also the smallest, though it does not cling to her neck very tightly.

Weapons: The Sorrowful Edge
Used as her primary weapon, the blade extends 4 feet, while the hilt is 6 inches.
The double-edged blade, made of strong steel, shimmers a brilliant silver. Silk, blue ribbon is wrapped tightly around the black grip, and hangs down on the end of it. The guard is a simple and rather typical shape, colored black. Running down the middle of the blade is a black covering with foreign writing all along it. This writing will glow with a faint light when she is using magic.

The sword is quickly summoned by putting her hand out, and positioning it as if she is holding a sword. Of course she must also put some concentration on this happening. When summoned, a light will form the shape of the sword, and then disappear with the sword in it's place.

Style: Fate is experienced in both sword wielding and a kicking style. She will use kicks along with her sword, and on occasion she will put away her sword and only use kicks. This is preferable for her when she doesn't actually want to hurt someone, but wants to wrap up a fight. It also comes in handy when she wants extra speed, as her sword can slow her down greatly if she is not in good condition.

When she is heavily focusing on using magic, she will usually put her sword away. It allows her to focus more, and being able to use both hands also strengthens her magic. Thus, when using magic, she will usually mix it with her kicking style.

[Abilities]
Yuemnia's Curse

To thee, I grant a long life, and a power beyond dreams. But immortality is a fools dream, power is naught but the means to end it. The life you're given will be of tears, the end shall be formed only by despair.
A curse placed on Fate's family, granting some an unnaturally long life and strong magical ability. The magical ability given drains life from the user, shortening their life span greatly if used too much.

The magic consists mainly of light, and converting it into a materialized or liquid-like form. Depending on the amount of light at her disposal, this magic could have explosive capabilities when it makes contact with something solid. Fate does not like using that ability normally as it is very straining on her life, it will easily kill her if used too much. Her typical magic will look like little, or large beams of light, until they make contact. At that point, they will usually pierce, or cut the target, depending on how Fate chooses to use them. Exploding is not likely.

Her favorite trick is making replicas of her sword out of light, this technique is not very costly, and it is also very useful. The swords will usually float around her, and will respond either to her actions, or the commands she gives them. She can also choose to dual wield, using one of these light replicas as her secondary weapon.

Light Wave - When she slashes her sword, a thin, sharp wave of light will shoot out, imitating the same form as her slash.

Light Rain - Fate will create numerous "raindrops" out of light, which will then fall quickly, imitating rain as it does so. The drops will leave cuts on skin or thin clothes upon contact, but will not be that deep. She is also capable of receiving wounds from this. If it is actually raining, it may interfere with the spell.

Barrier - Fate creates a strong barrier around her, reflecting hits from some magics, and protecting those inside from hits until it is broken, or until she takes it down. If the barrier is broken, she will also feel some of the impact that broke it. It is easily broken by melee attacks.

The Sacrifice - Fate will take on another person's wounds as her own, a small sting may be left in the place of the original wound for a short time.


This curse is able to be taken away from her, with a procedure that would kill her. This will cancel the use of life, and give the recipient all her power, as well as increase their life span. She is able to give this power away herself, but there is also a method of forcing it.

Strengths: Fate is strongest in areas with a lot of light, allowing her to use her magic at it's fullest. Experienced in melee combat, and confident in her abilities.
Weaknesses: She does not trust easily, especially not in battle. In times where cooperation is necessary, she generally will not. This can cause trouble for not only herself, but for others as well. Darkness makes her very vulnerable, limiting her abilities greatly, and she also has a fear for it, causing her to be a little jumpy whenever she is in a dark area. Her left leg is weak from being poisoned, even though it has long been cured, occasionally her leg will become weak, and where she was cut will ache.

Personality: Rather unsociable. She does not want to get involved with others, and she does not want others to get involved with her. When she trusts someone, she will usually go out of her way to protect or take care of them, almost acting as a motherly figure with some. She is usually kind, but very blunt. It's hard to tell what her real intentions are sometimes. She is usually well mannered in interacting with people, even if she prefers to just ignore them.

Likes: Reading is one of her favorite activities. She will read anything from exciting stories to boring research notes, and still find entertainment in it. Singing is relaxing for her, but she does not sing aloud very often, and usually sings in whispers to herself, or hums.
Dislikes: Sweet foods. She admits that they taste good, but there's just something about them that she doesn't like. She hates being in forests. She does not like being in large crowds.

Bio: Fate was risen as the princess of her city. She was brought up to be a respectable woman, wise and well-behaved, kind, and caring for her people. She was also trained to fight, along with her two close friends, which is how she developed her fighting style. It was something she enjoyed practicing on her own or with her friends, but the more she did, the more she annoyed her teacher, as her style developed very differently from his own, making it hard to teach her.

She did not discover her magic- the fact that she was cursed, until she was in her mid teens, when she overheard a conversation about it. It was not until even later that she had learned that this magic will eventually kill her. At that point, she had already learned to merge it with her fighting style.

At the age of seventeen, Fate became engaged to a young nobleman. He was confident, and highly esteemed as a knight. He was kind and gentle, allowing Fate to fall in love with him rather easily. The two would bring peace to a troubled kingdom, together. At least that was what everyone had thought.

One night, Leon, her fiance, called her out to discuss something. On this night, a small, but strong rebellion was also taking place.

Leon confronted her on her curse, attempting to persuade her to give it to him peacefully. Fate did not yet know the consequence, but was worried nonetheless. Mostly for his sake, and what it might do to him. When she refused to give him her ability, a battle between the two began. While Fate was holding back, Leon attacked ruthlessly, displaying abilities and magic that had never been known to her before.

After receiving a deep cut on her back, and a long, poisoned gash on her leg, Fate was left with no resistance. There was no light for her to manipulate, her body was in pain, and she could barely move. Her "lover" stood above her, his sword, now coated in poison and her own blood, pointed at her neck. The only thought in his mind was of power.

As if on queue, two soldiers, Fate's childhood friends, Claudia and Llyr arrived. The young woman, Claudia, pulled Fate away from Leon while the young man, Llyr, engaged him in combat in order to distract him while the two escaped to the stables.

When they reached the stables, Claudia secured Fate on a horse and climbed on it behind her. She grabbed the reins and directed the horse where she wanted to go, and then kicked it, making it bolt off in the direction of the forest.

As they rode, Claudia explained the situation to Fate as gently and calmly as she could. The kingdom had fallen all too easily, the king and queen had fallen along with it. Other than that, who was left, and who was not was unknown. Their only priority had been to find Fate and bring her to safety.

Listening to it all, Fate cried quietly, comforted only by the fact that Claudia was there with her, and hoping they would soon see Llyr again.

The two arrived at a town the next morning, where Fate's wounds were promptly treated by a doctor. The poison was successfully extracted, but the wound would continue to hinder her for quite a long time. They stayed only as long as was necessary, getting food and supplies before they ended their short stay and continued their aimless journey.

Eventually the two separated. After Fate had recovered from her injuries, she left Claudia in the night, in order to find a way to remove her curse on her own.


That night was cold and dark. Neither the stars nor the moon could comfort me.
The light had abandoned me, it felt as if fate was mocking me.
Perhaps if I was as cold as that fate, I would have been able to save myself and those I loved from it...




Involved In:
In White // Inactive
Sleeping Land // Inactive
Of Old Legends // Inactive
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Last Edited by Vahlia; 05-06-2013 at 11:56 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 09-30-2011, 01:54 PM
Sakume Sakume is offline
What if I should fall right through the center of the Earth?
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Join Date: Jun 2005
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Re: Fate Féir

An overall decent character. :> I can't find anything character wise you need to correct, but there are a few formatting issues that made it a little more difficult at times to read, such as under your heading: "Clothes", where the text is unnaturally spaced. I suggest you put another space/new paragraphs in there, if you can see where the problem is.

Just a small suggestion, you also might thinking about expanding upon this curse in her background. There's a lot of mention of it, but not much payoff, since we don't know why her family was cursed in the first place or who Yuemnia is. If you're doing this purposely, good on you, but if it wasn't something you thought about, you might want to give it some thought for future character development. Also, this one line just struck me a little strangely at first where you wrote "When the person under this curse is nearing death, they will become ill." Well my thinking is, most people do become ill when nearing death. Even if not cursed. What makes the curse so bad in this way? Is it a terrible illness?

These are just thoughts for you, not things you need to add. Your character is

~Approved~

Go have fun and welcome. You're welcome to ask me any questions via AIM, PM, or VM.
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