Beginning Note
If you are reading this because the title interested you, you have been surreptitiously deceived: I have made this thread to add onto the already numerous and varied opinions regarding character creation in the EH. Since you are continuing to read this, I assume that you are one of two things: extremely bored, or a person who has already made many characters and is wondering what another person could possibly say that hasn’t already been brought up two hundred times. The point in what you read below (assuming you are still reading this, that is) is not to tell you how you ought to be writing characters, or a “better” process of making them. If the following simply causes you to think about adding, changing, or considering your existing character(s), then I have accomplished my purpose in writing this.
All of my advice has been divided into categories that follow (mostly) the order of the character creation template. I congratulate you thus far if you do in fact intend to read each section, whether you really make it to the end or not. If you read carefully, you may find that hints here can be applied to more than simple character writing.
Appearance
No, this is not the first thing that goes in a character profile. This is the first thing that I feel like commenting on.
In your browsing of other’s and your own characters, you’ve probably come to understand that appearance is one of the most important details for you and other RPers to know. Without it, there is no outward appearance accurate enough for other characters to find any meaning or value in.
Sensory Details: My comment here is not that I think most profiles are lacking in this area. While some are certainly far more detailed and valuable than others, they all serve the purpose of giving the reader a rough picture to form in their mind. My problem is that that’s all I
see, a picture.
Have we forgotten that there is more than one human sense? There are in fact five: sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste. I see characters painstakingly described in the visual sense— I can picture their hair, clothes, and shoes, but I can’t
smell them. I can’t hear what their voice might sound like, what their skin might feel like. I don’t know how my character should react to yours because I don’t know if they smell like a ripe monkey or a pungent flower. I don’t know if their voice is generally gruff or strangely soft.
Don’t underestimate the power of touching
all of the senses. The more variety you have, the more detail and significance your character will have, and you will also provide other RPers with more deep, subtle details to cue reactions with. Even
auras are significant: the kind of presence your character has due to magic or general abilities. We also have A LOT of aura sensers in the EH, and providing such detail (not just about how your character can
hide their aura) will also allow other characters to perceive them at greater depths.
Implicit and Explicit Details: Now, this isn't a particularly awful issue that I see in profiles, but it is an issue nonetheless. It's somewhat bothersome to read profiles that blatantly state what you as the reader ought to interpret from the character. Take a look at this:
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Originally Posted by Navi007
Mary Sue is amazingly beautiful. Her eyes are dazzling, her hair absolutely spectacular. She is HOT. She also wears a very colorful dress.
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In those four separate sentances, I have managed to tell you absolutely nothing about Mary Sue. Instead, I have told you everything that I think your characters should think of her. Instead of listing details and leaving it for you to interpret and think about, I have blatantly ordered that Mary Sue be seen this way. If you were, in fact, to do an RP with this Mary Sue, about the only thing you'd be able to describe her as is... well, HOT.
What is HOT? Is hot being thin, or having voluptuous curves? Is a character beautiful if they are tall or short? Are blue eyes that sparkle prettier than green eyes that gently glow? What colors are the actual clothes that the character is wearing? What kind of clothing is it? What does all of this tell about the character in general?
This is where the difference between implicit and explicit details begin. An implicit detail is one carefully placed within the character profile, which says nothing as to whether or not the subject is "attractive," but provides the story behind what actually makes them that way. If I give you a list of small, intimate details that are meaningful to the character, suddenly you have a lot more material to work with. Your character can decide for themself whether they like the sparkling blue eyes or soft, peachy skin. Maybe they're a green skinned alien that thinks human hair is absolutely hideous. Whatever the case, it is no buisness of mine to tell you how my character
is. My job is to provide the details that will lead you and your own characters to their own conclusions.
Explicit details are empty without their implicit counterparts. Coming up directly and simply stating what I think will make for a very vauge character. Little details like the fabric the clothing your character wears can be significant. For instance, it doesn't make sense for a peasant to be waring a silk dress around, does it? Nor does it make sense for a 12th century character to be wearing a white T-Shirt. Take the time to put things into context, to consider the world your character lives in. Tiny, implicit details like this will serve to tell the story of your character, as well as provide a firm base for other characters to build an understanding of them.
I have provided a list to help with clothing items that will better match medieval context:
Bodice- part of a woman's dress above the waist
Breeches- trousers ending above the knee
Coif- men's small, close fitting cap
Fouriaux- woman's silk sheath to cover hair that has been coiled or put up.
Girdle- a band of material around the waist and strengthens a skirt or trousers
Jerkin- a tight sleeveless and collarless jacket
Kirtle- knee-length tunic, or long dress worn by women
Smock(frock)- An outer garment (generally a dress) traditionally worn by rural workers (also attributed to females)
Tunic- any of a variety of loose fitting cloaks extending to the hips or knees (wordnetweb.princeton.edu)
There are many, many more specific clothing items to that time period- this is just to give a general overview. While you can get away with using things as vauge as "shirt," "pants," and "dress," do remember that the more detailed and specific you are, the more depth your character will have. And you are also welcome to add more items to this list ^^
Meaning: The more meaning you can apply to a character through the use of detail, the more profound their interactions will be with other characters. If I come out and blatantly tell you each physical characteristic of my character, you'd be able to easily picture them-- then promptly forget. Attaching meaning, history to the attributes of a character will make them deeper and more memorable. Take a look at this example:
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Originally Posted by Excerpt from Shrub's Khaz Serwen profile
Body – Khaz’s body is just like his face with no scars or discolorations, despite his active life in war and battles. This is because he was often surrounded by gifted healers such as his sister, who could heal any wounds without leaving a trace of them left...
He has a lean athletic body, toned and hardened for he is a warrior that has been training since he was eleven by the Gerudo. He’s not lanky or too thin, yet not bulky and big in muscle. He is stuck somewhere between muscular and lean, lacking body fat thus his muscles are attractively defined. His body is obviously that of a younger twenty-year-old’s. More developed than a teen’s, but he’s young still; males are often not completely finished developing until around the age 25...
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If you look closely, you'll find that this sample of Khaz's profile not only provides a great deal of detail, but also a great deal of meaning. From this, we can draw that Khaz is athletic because he has recieved training as a warrior. These past battles, however, leave no trace on him because he was around healers like his sister when he lived with the Gerudo. Because of this, we see that his past directly affects his current body, and that even in his physical traits, there is a history. Details like this serve to tell you why Khaz is the way he is and how he lives and mantains that life. That means you've got a lot more material to use as your character interacts with him. How much more different would that be if Shrub had included only that Khaz was lean and athletic?
Height vs. Weight
I'm sorry, but this needs to be talked about. Far too often, I see characters with unrealistic height vs weight. A five foot six person who weighs 100lbs is extraordinarily unhealthy and unrealistic. If you're struggling to find what realistic height vs weight vs build is,
this will help.
Weapons, Armor, Etc.
Yes, I have something to say about this very simple section. I’ll be blunt. It’s exhausting to try to figure out what people mean when they throw technical words for clothing and weapons at me. I have to go google what on earth that thing is before I can even understand the details applied to this object of theirs.
DO NOT assume that people understand what you are talking about. If you name a specific sword, gun, piece of clothing, etc. that is not general English; you are speaking the fine language of jargon. If you say your character wields an epee, you sure better tell me what the heck that is if you expect me to interpret your character’s weapon with any degree of accuracy. This can be accomplished in two ways:
Defining: Take the time to include the definition of what you are talking about within the section that the word is included in. You can add it in parenthesis, footnotes, and even in the sentence itself. Consider the following:
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Originally Posted by ”Navi007”
When Leonna releases her wings, they look exactly like the Radiant Swallowtail's, with Aqua Marine colored discoidal cells that fade to a dark green at the submargins of her wings. The apex of her forewing is softly curved, though its ends are somewhat flat and rectangular in shape. Her hindwing is somewhat more round, though it has small, round bumps on its black edge. The apex is shaped like a large, elongated teardrop, sticking out a few inches from the rest of the wing. There are no obvious veins, though various black patters decorate the submargins of her wings. Her wings as a whole gently glow much like a neon colored glow stick would.
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Take a moment to try and visualize those details in your mind. What can you picture from all of that?
I’ll bet you might have had some trouble. If you don’t know what on earth a discoidal cell is, or what the submargin of a wing is, all that information I just provided was useless. If you don’t know what a Radiant Swallowtail is, you might have even mistaken Leonna’s butterfly wings for that of a bird’s.
How do you avoid this? Look at the following changes:
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Originally Posted by ”Navi007”
When Leonna releases her wings, they look exactly like the *Radiant Swallowtail's, with Aqua Marine colored *discoidal cells that fade to a dark green at the submargins (the area of a wing between its edge and the discoidal cells) of her wings. The apex, or the point of the wing, of her forewing (the top section of the wings) is softly curved, though its ends are somewhat flat and rectangular in shape. Her hindwing (the bottom section of the wings) is somewhat more round, though it has small, round bumps on its black edge. The apex is shaped like a large, elongated teardrop, sticking out a few inches from the rest of the wing. There are no obvious veins, though various black patters decorate the submargins of her wings. Her wings as a whole gently glow much like a neon colored glow stick would.
*A Radiant Swallowtail is an Indonesian species of butterfly, which is best known for its vivid bluish green to green color changes on its wings.
*Discoidal cells are the large center cells of an insect’s wings.
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What can you picture now? Do the details make more sense to you? If the answer is yes, then you ought to double check your own jargon to make sure that others know what you are talking about.
Pictures: I highly recommend using images wherever possible. They provide an even more vivid image than a description, and while it may not exactly match what you are trying to explain, the reader will be better able to actually “see” what you are talking about. This is a feature unique to writing on the internet, so exploit it as much as you can. Let’s go back to my previous example to show this.
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Originally Posted by ”Navi”
When Leonna releases her wings, they look exactly like the Radiant Swallowtail's, with Aqua Marine colored discoidal cells that fade to a dark green at the submargins of her wings. The apex of her forewing is softly curved, though its ends are somewhat flat and rectangular in shape. Her hindwing is somewhat more round, though it has small, round bumps on its black edge. The apex is shaped like a large, elongated teardrop, sticking out a few inches from the rest of the wing. There are no obvious veins, though various black patters decorate the submargins of her wings. Her wings as a whole gently glow much like a neon colored glow stick would. |
What’s the difference this time? Well, I provided a link to the exact butterfly I was talking about. Now, instead of trying to interpret the whole paragraph into an image, you can immediately see what I am talking about. Using images will provide definitions to your reader in simple, vivid terms that will explain what you are trying to talk about.
Don’t expect other readers to do the deciphering for you. Few are those that are willing to fill in the details that you are not. If you want to be accurate, take the time to illustrate and define your complex terms.
Skills/Abilites
Allllllright! It's time tae' get down to even more nitty gritty detail! When looking over another character's skills and abilities, there are two main things that easily set apart those who can be specific and those who can't. Which do you think provides more accurate, easier to understand information? Let's take a look.
Operationally Defined Abilities: Below are three specific variations of the same ability of a character named Xena. Note how they differ:
Vauge Detail
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When Xena transforms into her demon form, she becomes a lot stronger.
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More Specific Detail
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When Xena transforms into her demon form, she becomes extremely strong.
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Operationally Defined Detail
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When Xena transforms into her demon form, she becomes incredibly strong, able to break eight-foot boulders into tiny fragments with a single punch.
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Now, provided the first example, what might you infer about Xena? If you were to battle against her, you'd likely think that in demon form, she's just more difficult to fight. Given the second sentance, it is easily inferred that she is much more difficult to go against when she is in demon form. With the third sentance, you see that in demon form, Xena could very well crush your human character into tiny tufts of powder. Do you then see why vauge detail easily leads to misunderstanding and god-moding?
That's why operational definition is so important. The more specific the limits and powers of your characters are, the better you understand them, and the better others will understand them. If you can list exactly how an ability is executed and prepared, as well as its cost, you've just gained a broader understanding of that ability as well as when and how it ought to be used, and also how it affects your and other's characters.
Significance: If you go beyond simply stating what a character can do and go into the history of that ability and
why it works, you've just added significance to that ability. Suddenly, your character is able to do unique, interesting things that have significance to the rest of the world. This is best illustrated by yet another example:
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Originally Posted by Excerpt from Drammor's Omentus Anima Profile
Blood
Blood of Dead Gods: One of the many esoteric fields of study that has caught Omentus’ attention is what happens to the gods when they die. Many of them are truly dead, but those immortals who were forgotten were not slain but are dead nonetheless. These forgotten deities rest now as islands floating in the astral plane, and are not corpses as most would understand them. Each one is a paradise of the deity, filled with incarnations of their own portfolios and personalities, living on in some strange immortal form of perfect death that is like a plane within itself. At the core of their being, however, these islands are in fact the dead bodies of the gods and through some means that Omentus has discovered, the blood which still flows within their veins can be drawn.
In the many-pocketed red cloak that the necromancer wears, he nearly always carries at least a single vial of the blood of each god whose corpse he has discovered on the astral plane. The following are the dead gods that Omentus has run across in his research and travels and drawn the blood from, and some of their effects:
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Notice how Drammor makes a reference to the astral plane and the dead gods within it. He explains very clearly what god blood is, which is the basis of all of the god blood spells that Omentus uses. Without this explanation, his abilities are still well described, but they loose their significance. Without understanding what god blood is and how Omentus acquired it, we loose that implicit detail that tells us that Omentus is a character powerful enough to even travel into a different realm. We also loose the understanding of how god blood is connected to the rest of the world-- that it comes from dead dieties that other characters may or may not be familiar with.
Travel
No, this isn’t even a section in the character guideline. I think it should be. Why? That’s why I’m here.
The way your character moves about the world has everything to do with what kind of person they are. It makes no sense for a king to be walking about alone when he should be followed by his own royal entourage. If your character walks, don’t you dare try to tell me that they can traverse a distance of 24 leagues (72 miles) in one day. If your character has a horse, you’ll have to find a way for your character to maintain that animal’s health as they travel.
These details are important because they impact the kind of attitude your character will have upon arriving… well, anywhere. If Jack has just hiked up a mountain in a week long trip, he’s going to be tired, dirty, and looking for shelter in a city loooong before he starts looking for fights. If Jill has rode her valiant steed into a city and wishes to travel on foot, she’s not likely to just leave it there in the street as she goes about her business.
Can your character hunt in the wilderness? Do they have adequate supplies to be traveling in a desert? What experience do they have in traveling? Where have they previously been that might impact the distance they had to go between that point and the one in your current RP? Why do they bother to brave long distances at all?
If you can’t provide any answers to these questions in your character’s profile, it may be time to add some things there.
Character Bios:
I've already made quite a few statements about this. ^^ The point I want to make, however, is this: a character biography is a biography, NOT a character fiction. If you are writing of only one singluar event, and are specific enough of that event to include dialouge, what you have created is a
character fiction, not a biography. A biography holds the meat of a person, the most important facts and events in your character's life. If you write a 15 paragraph story about how your character slayed the mighty dragon Elohim, you're going to loose readers. Simple, short, to-the-point facts will declare to the reader quickly and simply the details you and the other RPers can understand about the character's life.
This whole idea is best explained by LEA in the character guidline sticky. The problem is that this is grossly overlooked. Pay attention to the specific instructions here:
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Originally Posted by Excerpt from LEA's post
Biography: The background of your character, where he grew up and things like that. Even if your character doesn't know their own background (characters like that pop up from time to time), you should still know your character's past, and write it down. Also tell us why your character is oblivious to his/her history.
You can, however, feel free to add different areas to your character's profile. Be creative!
The Biography and Personality are some of the most important parts in creating your character. These guidelines are simply to give you ideas, not questions you have to answer.:
Where was he/she born?
Did he/she grow up with parents? If no, why not?
Did the character have any brothers or sisters? Any friends? Where are they now? Does he/she still talk to them?
How was his/her childhood? Abusive? Peaceful? Ordinary?
Does he have any pets? Familiars?
What are his/her beliefs? Does he/she worship a god? Is he/she willing to do anything to protect or guard their beliefs?
Why is your character traveling from home?
Does he/she have the ability to kill others?
Is your character easy going?
What are his/her dislikes?
Anything special he/she’s fond of?
How would he/she treat others? Rudely? Friendly?
Any goals? Dreams?
Has he/she considered the possibility of death?
ALSO: The purpose of a biography is to succinctly tell us how your character got to where he was. If we wanted a fiction, we'd look for you in the fiction section. In other words, boil it down to some main points to make a small passage of about 5-8 paragraphs. Not too much more or less than that, please.
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Those are the facts. Be consise about a character's past, and reserve those sensational background stories for the character fiction section.
History
Yet another section that does not exist in the guidelines. Personally, I think it should be MANDATORY for all NON HUMAN characters. Let me explain why.
If I come up with a new race, I can give you an accurate picture of what this race may look like simply from the appearance section. What isn't included there, however, is the significance of this race. What is their place in the world? Would it be strange to see one in the midst of a crowd of humans? What role do they play in the history of the world? What is unique to this race and culture?
If you don't answer those questions, you're missing out on a GIGANTIC opportunity to add depth to your character. If they're rare, my character would be surprised to see them. They'd likely have no idea what manner of creature they are or where they come from. A familiar race, on the other hand, would hardly earn a second glance, and my character would likely understand what their relationship to humans are. If you don't point these sort of things out, you're selling you and your fellow RPers short of what could be a great history and story. It doesn't matter if your character is as mundane as an elf-- everyone has different interpretations of them. What dimension
you have added to elves is what is important for others to understand.
This also applies to cultures and dieties. If I name a historical or significant figure you know nothing about, it means nothing to you. If I explian it, however, it suddenly gains meaning. You can apply this knowledge to your own character and the world they live in, which creates greater understanding and depth between two characters. Take a look at this example:
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Originally Posted by Navi007
History of Darissa:
While the three major goddesses of Hyrule are the major figures for worship, there remains minor gods whose power has also contributed to the shaping of Hyrule, as well as other lands. Darissa is the jealous sister of Lloth, whose fame is much more widespread than hers. Those who follow her desire her favor in theivery, deception and resistance to poison. She is sometimes depicted as a snake herself, and more rarely a mix between a woman and snake. While Darissa is said to be among the most beautiful of immortals, in her dark beauty she has little power compared to the others. She has to manipulate other gods and goddesses into doing what she desires, which she loathes. The dark goddess wants power of her own to shape the world, but she has power only over reptiles, and so she often relies on mortals and the misguided deeds of other gods to perform her will.
Darissa decrees that her followers obey her without question, lividly hating all those that leave her to walk in the paths of other gods. She favors those with natural beauty and great cunning, lending them her power to make them sucessful. Her intents are to foil the plans and desires of other gods, using stolen resources to do so. She is even willing to go so far as to communicate directly with mortals to do so, using her powers of persuasion and false promises to make them do her will. Stray from her desires, and it is likely that a poison snake is in your future.
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This diety works directly with my character, Nerine. Without this understanding, you would miss out on the very beliefs that Nerine holds, which influence her very life. With this understanding, your own characters can gain deeper understanding of Nerine simply by recognizing her goddess and the things that such beliefs hold. A follower of Lloth, for example, would likely hold Nerine in great disdain, while a follower of holy gods would despise her wicked ways. Those who follow dark gods might see her as a decietful, yet useful ally.
So, please keep in mind that when you introduce foreign characters (which is pretty much all of them) that other RPers deserve to understand their background. Without such understanding, it is impossible for them to fully interact with your character.
Organization
Organization is more important in character bios than you might think. The harder a profile is to read, the less people will read of it, and the harder it will be to understand. Don't be afraid to use text formatting options to make the best use of balance and space to make long reading easy on the eyes. Try this out:
You have ten seconds to read the following excerpt from Leonna's character profile. Make sure to time yourself. I need you to read as much as you can and then answer following question:
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Leonna has very little experience with cold climates. She is not prepared in the least to deal with very cold temperatures, and her body is especially vulnerable to it. Icy attacks cause extra damage, and if it lasts long enough, it can calm the astral energy inside of Leonna, effectively reducing the strength of her flame. Another downside is that Leonna will struggle to regain energy in cold climates, seeing as she is unable to absorb heat from them.
Leonna's attacks are easily absorbed with dark energy, and her own energy is not only blocked from recharging, but absorbed out of her in the presence of dark auras. While this absorbing effect varies depending on the strength of the aura, it can effectively block and reduce the power of Leonna's light. She will also struggle to regain energy in areas of pure darkness, seeing as she is unable to absorb light from them.
Leonna's a sucker for the weak and injured, and will hesitate before striking a deadly blow, giving her target an open shot. It is also difficult for her to fight in groups, where the heat of her flame can burn her allies whether she's aiming for them or not. She is also very area sensitive, unwilling to use her flame where it can damage other things.
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Can you name each of Leonna's weaknesses? How many can you remember?
Now try reading this, using the same ten second time limit:
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(light): Leonna is also very resistant to raidiance damage. In fact, light attacks generally serve to fuel her energy rather than damage her (because she absorbs light). However, this doesn't mean that Leonna can't be blinded like a normal person, and absorbed light attacks don't give her much energy.
(movement): Leonna's training in her particular fighting style allows her to move with great agility and flexibility, as many of her attacks require a lot of acrobatic skill. While she can move fairly quickly, most of her speed comes from the way she attacks (meaning that she can strike rapidly by spinning her staff). Her ability to fly also gives her an advantage over those who are stuck on the ground, giving her greater speed than if she were to run.
(range): Because Leonna fights with a weapon longer than she is tall, she will be able to out-range anyone with a typical sword, though her combat style is fairly limited when she uses the full extent of the length of her weapon (meaning she can only lunge and stab, rather than use the full momentum of her staff by spinning it)
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What are Leonna's strengths? How many can you remember?
By spacing and categorizing within each required feild, you not only make it simpler to interpret, but you also make it more comprehensible and memorable. By grouping information together, emphasizing the main points, and listing them systematically, you do what's called
chunking. You're grouping relavant information together to create one simple chunk to remember. Is it any wonder that such formatting makes your profile look more intellegent and comprehensible?
Taking Criticisim
DO NOT revise everything you write in your character profile based on singular opinons. I can't tell you how extraordinarily important this is to remember. While we need to keep our minds open to constructive criticisim and our hearts ready for learning, don't take advice that isn't sound. If you don't understand it, question it. If it doesn't look good to change a phrase, don't change it.
Be ruthless in the scrutiny of your own writing. After critisisim has been considered and you have pondered sufficiently over the matter, consulting other editors and readers for opinons as well,
make the desision yourself. If you repeatedly recieve complaints over the same matter, you probably ought to consider changing it, but when both you and other readers are satisfied, stick to your gut opinon. There will always be those that disagree with how you write something, and in such cases, realize this: it is not humanly possible to please everyone. Better, yes, but perfect? No.
Now, there is a thin line between being stubborn and being great. Being great means having a profile whose writing style and content has concrete support in its credibility, and confidence in its ability to convey meaning. A great writer will be attentive their feedback, do their homework, take the reader into consideration, and then decide where the commas and periods ought to go. A stubborn writer merely denies their weakness and lacks the creativity and work ethic to make something better. Their editions will lack confidence and strength because their writing is meant to fufill some vauge expectaction. Be aware of the audience you're writing for. Reailze that they are giving you their valuable time, and that they deserve to read coherent, interesting material. If they can't understand it, the issue is not theirs, it is yours. There is no profound idea that cannot be written well enough for others to understand.
Taking this into consideration, also realize that re-writing isn't just a part of writing, it
is writing. Without making those annoying edits, not only are you ignoring the very people whose attention you desire, you are also depriving yourself and your work of the opportunity to become better. So, when you are given a plate of criticisim, don't give in, and don't give out. Consider each of your sentences--you will
always find something to improve whether you recieve feedback from others or not. Take time to weed out bad advice from the good, and test it. If it doesn't work, don't use it. If you can't understand it, work yourself until you can. There is not a singular writer who can claim themselves to be good naturally. Good writing takes real, active work, and that comes from actively trying to improve what you write.
And good writing, of course, leads to good character profiles.
In The End
Well, Kudos for making it all the way here, my friend! ^^ As I said before, I'm not meaning to preach or say that one particular way of writing a character profile is better than another. I myself am guilty of doing the things I have advised against. When all is said and done, I hope that this thread has done for you what it has done for me: it maked you take a closer look at how you're writing and how this applies to your current works.
Best of Luck,
Fairess
10-28-2009, 10:16 PM
