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Old 10-13-2009, 06:38 PM
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Aprella Kai-Manika Olonae Isabella Valentine

Aprella Kai-Manika Olonae Isabella Valentine

a.k.a. Aprella "Kai" Valentine

Gender: Female
Age: 64
Race: Dhampir
Nationality: British
Sexuality: Asexual
Height: 1.78 m
Weight: 68 kg
Muscularity: Toned
Eyes: Sky blue
Hair: White; loose Hime cut


Inventory:

EV.A.N.G.E.L.I.O.N.

EV* Assimilation Neo-Generator [with] Enveloping Lagrangian Inertial Operating Nexus

The official name of Aprella's plugsuit - as the name implies it acts like a central hub where EV is collected and focused through a series of artificial crystal arrays located at various EV focal points on a person's body. These focal points are roughly equivalent to the location of the chakras with a few additions and disregarding the ones on the head. Namely on the front we have the base of the throat, the breasts, the solar plexus, the kidneys, the navel, the groin, the shoulders, the wrists, the inner thighs, and the inner ankles - on the back we have the base of the neck, the shoulders again, the small of the back, and the coccyx. The plugsuit is lined with embedded energy paths that link various focal points together in a deliberate pattern that forms a "net" around the plugsuit, with the central focal point being the one located at the solar plexus.


Midas E.R.A.DI.CA.T.E.

Energy Redirection And Dissipation Capacitor Transducer Ensemble

Aprella's twin energy disippator gauntlets which follow the colour scheme of the rest of the plugsuit and are what allow her to actually use her EV as a weapon. Each of the gauntlets consists of an energy motor which is fed by the crystal arrays under her wrists, which are in turn fed by the concentrated EV stored in the central crystal array over her solar plexus by means of the embedded energy paths. The energy motor surrounds her entire wrist in the form of a band and is accompanied by a series of three rings spaced at regular intervals along her forearm, thus forming the actual transducer ensemble that allows Aprella to manifest her EV in corporeal form and use it in combat. The gauntlets are directly controlled by Aprella's mind and as such do not require any sort of interface for her to use - she simply "wills" it to happen and subsequently controlls it mentally. The manifested EV can be in any shape or form that is solely dependant on the user's imagination, be it blades, whips, spears, blasters or even EV thrusters. It should also be noted that manifested EV can be broken by sufficiently powerful energy weapons, since they have the ability to disrupt the molecular structure of manifested EV.

[Note: The colour of the manifested EV depends on the user's personality and spiritual signature - as such it is not affected by external factors and is independant of the technology used to manifest it. Aprella's signature EV colour is white.]


Achilles E.R.A.DI.CA.T.E.

These are Aprella's specialised boots with a smaller built-in Eradicate unit that is of lower calibre than her corresponding arm units, only really useful for passive and defensive puposes or simply to provide a more efficient means of transportation. The energy motor of this unit is fed by the crystal arrays on her inner ankles, which are once again fed by the concentrated EV stored in the central crystal array over her solar plexus by means of the embedded energy paths. The energy motor surrounds her ankle in the form of a band and is accompanied by a series of three rings spaced at regular intervals along her shin which once again form the transducer ensemble. The heels of the boots are also fitted with high-density active shock absorbers in order to minimise the strain on her legs when using the built-in Eradicate unit or when landing from a large vertical drop.


Condensed Haemo Capsule

These are small capsules which contain highly concentrated doses of haemoglobin roughly corresponding to the amount of blood a full vampire would require during a single feeding, completely rejuvinating the vampire or dhampir which makes use of them and giving them energy akin to a full meal for a human. They serve both as an emergency blood dose should Aprella reach the limits of her Chimaera** and requires an immediate supply of blood to supress it, as well as functioning like a steriod and providing a temporary boost in physical ability and mental fortitude if she finds herself in a particularly nasty spot. The capsules are stored in special compartments arranged along the length of her plugsuit belt.


M.I.S.T.A.S.

Massive Information Storage Temporal Analysis Supercomputer

This miniature supercomputer is Aprella's most trusted companion and hosts an immense database with all the knowledge of her people, as well as the ability to scan the environment and record heaps of new information about the different universes she visits. It is attached to Aprella's plugsuit over her right forearm and when activated brings up a holographic user interface which she can navigate by touch, as well as offering a compact keyboard next to the holographic projector for quick typing.


R.E.I.U.C.D.

Remote Enmeshed Inter-Universal [FTL] Communication Device

This communication device makes use of enmeshed particle technology to allow Aprella to communicate with her version of Earth, no matter what alternate universe she finds herself in or what technology is available to that particular universe. It is attached to Aprella's plugsuit over her left forearm and is directly linked with her M.I.S.T.A.S. which allows transmission of data and information between her personal database and the one at the Central Planetary Nexus. The device is primarily controlled by voice commands although it can also be controlled by her M.I.S.T.A.S. .


S.T.C.D.T.M.

Space-Time Continuum Disruptor Transportation Module

This miniature disruptor device has the capability of transporting a volume corresponding to a single person to another universe, but is only capable of doing this once per day because of the long time it takes for its EV-powered batteries to charge without draining her. It is small in size and compact enough to be attached to the rear of her belt, and it is operated solely by her M.I.S.T.A.S. .


Skills:

Although Eradicate offers almost unlimited possibilities in the usage of Aprella's EV, there are particular skills and abilities which she most commonly uses.

Passive

Jetscream

Aprella has the ability to use her Achilles Evangelions to provide EV-powered thrust strong enough to carry her up into the air and maintain large speeds of travel, with her Midas Evangelions largely used for balancing and steering purposes during travel.


Unlimited Roadworks

Aprella often uses her Achilles Evangelions to create faster alternatives to walking when she wants to get somewhere quickly, using her EV to construct anything from skateboards, snowboards, rollerskates, and pretty much everything she can think of.


Defensive

Palm Push

Using her Midas Evangelions Aprella can expel some of her EV rapidly so as to create enough force to push objects and people away from her, and is commonly achieved by directing her palm at the intended target and releasing a palm-shaped burst of EV.


Energy Shield

Aprella can also create EV shields of various shapes and sizes on her arms which have the power to deflect both physical and energy attacks quite well, with the potential of enlarging the shield enough to create a canopy for her.


Offensive

Energy Lash

Aprella can use her Midas Evangelion to manifest her EV into energy whips sprouting from her arms and used to lash out at enemies from a distance, either using a single whip, one on each arm, so dangerously awesome cat-o-nine-tails combinations.


Spiral Nemesis

Aprella creates a multitude of tentacle-like spiralling extensions from her forearms which can be used both defensively against multiple attackers or rapid successive attacks, but mostly offensively as an array of retractable spears which lunge at the enemy.


Mega Cannon

Aprella's arm is encased in a cylinder of manifested EV which functions as a rudimentary weapon barrel, with the ability to launch EV projectiles with varying degrees of power and impact efects depending on the energy she supplies the attack with.


Giga Drill Breaker

Aprella's most powerful attack by far, it requires her to bring both arms together and build up EV on both her Midas Evangelions in order to create a huge spiralling mass of manifested EV in the shape of a drill which can cause incredible damage but leaves her heavily drained afterwards.


Appearance:

The most striking feature when first looking at Aprella is her bright blue eyes which seem very out of place on her pale complexion, but they are easily overshadowed by the large scar running down the right side of her face over her eye. Neverheless if one were willing to overlook that small disfigurement, she has quite a beautiful face with smooth curves and full cheeks. She also has thin, wide lips which are a light pink in colour, usually curled into a playful grin or smirk regardless the circumstances which brings her pearly white fangs into plain sight. Natural white hair is kept in a loose Hime cut which frames her face beautifully, easily reaching the small of her back with their rear length.

Her figure is lean and athletic rather than strictly petite or feminine, but that is not to say she is completely without any allure. It just means that there is not an ounce of fat and not a patch of loose skin on her entire body. Her chest is fairly average and her hips are shapely but relatively narrow, her waist thin even if quite toned and well-built. The word Xanatos is tattooed down the center of her chest between her breasts, accompanied by a tattoo of a winged Death above her navel. Aside from the hair on her head there is no other hair on her body because...

Aprella wears a white full-body plugsuit under anything else which requires direct contact with her bare skin, the outfit serving to amplify her life energy and allow her to utilise it in combat. The plugsuit is fairly simple in design except for artificial crystal arrays embedded in various energy focal points around her body, which allow the energy to be channelled much more efficiently. Its titanium-fibre polymer design also offers her rudimentary protection against attacks, though it is nowhere near as efffective as actual armour would be.

Above that she usuallly prefers tight clothing such as her trademark black meta-leather*** pants, accompanied by a tight tanktop and her trademark black meta-leather short-sleeved jacket with an intricate poppped collar. Her feet are adorned with white boots in the same design scheme as her plugsuit, with built-in high density shock absorbers to grant her even greater agility than just her traits allow. On both her forearms are the energy dissipator gauntlets that alllow her to manifest her life energy in corporeal form which is used for combat.


Personality:

The most unique aspect of her personality is that she never really takes anything seriously, even the gravest of situations are usually only just a game to her. She will almost never back down from any predicament no matter what the odds against her are, and will ruthlessly push herself to the outmost limit when she feels outgunned, making her an almost reckless adversary in combat who can overcome her opponents with sheer will-power. It's not that she lacks any form of strategic thinking or common sense for that matter, but rather that she prefers to jump into the thick of things first and work out her next move from there.

Although she would never let it show without good enough reason or if the situation is dire, she is fiercely protective of those she considers friends and any who place their trust in her. Most of the time she appears quite aloof and indifferent to everyone else's problems and insecurities, but in reality it's mostly a facade of confidence she maintains to keep herself vigilant and inspire others to work harder. She will gladly offer support and advice to anyone seeking it from her in her own unique way, although it is mostly in such a subtle or roundabout way that those on the receiving end don't realise it until she's moved on to something else.

Aprella is very open with her physical existence and as such feels no qualms about the appearance of her body, and finds little meaning in traditional human beliefs such as modesty and unnecessary clothing. A lot of men she has met in several universes have therefore made the false assumption that she is "easy" or "slutty" only to come to the painful realisation that she is in fact a girl not to be messed with. The truth of the matter is that Aprella is largely asexual in nature which means she harbours no physical attraction to either gender. This does not mean that she consciously shies away from the subject of sex or sexuality in general, just that it has no real emotional effect on her and is not something she would actively seek.


Strengths:

Being a Dhampir means she has greatly enhanced strength, speed, reflexes, agility and senses compared to the average human, but even that is just the tip of the iceberg when one considers what she's truly capable of. She has an extensive knowledge of unarmed combat coupled with decades of practice which make her a force to be reckoned with even without her plugsuit and gauntlets equipped. Aprella is also very knowledgeable on the histories and cultures of several important universes in the extensive multiverse she has become aware of, and has excellent command of a staggering amount of diverse languages. And last but most certainly not least her weapons are incredibly versatile and adaptable to any combat situation, allowing her to stand her ground against almost any opponent and defend herself against almost any attack.


Weaknesses:

Her major weakness boils down to the fact that her EV is wholly dependant on her state of mind and self-confidence, so any adversary who manages the difficult task of wearing her down mentally would have a significant upper hand over her as she would have greatly reduced offensive abilities. Secondly her generally reckless attitude tends to get her into trouble she could easily have avoided, even though she never gets herself into anything risky for the sake of self-gain but rather to help those in need. Furthermore use of her EV powers draws directly from her life-force and as such prolonged use exerts a significant amount of stress on her body that slowly drains her of vitality and fortitude, which means she needs to keep herself in top physical and mental condition in order to be able to cope with that strain. Additionally in order to be able to correctly use her EV requires concentration and clarity of mind on her behalf, the lack of which would greatly hinder her ability to fight to the full extent of her abilities. Lastly, excessive use of EV abilities in a very short period of time tends to push her Chimaera to its limits, which would cause her to lose clarity of thought and strategic reasoning as she nears bloodlust.


Biography:

Our universe is but a grain of sand in the near infinite number of universes scattered throughout the multiverse, each a slightly different mirror image of the other in diverging gradients of variation. As such our beloved Earth is even more alone than simply within the confines of our universe - it is alone amongst every conceivable version of Earth which has ever existed or will exist. And Aprella hails from an Earth which is... very different to our own.

In her world vampires have existed for tens of millenia and are the product of a different evolutionary path from humans, and although they were once the natural predators of humans they now coexist with them in perfect harmony. This has been possible largely to her people's proficiency with genetic engineering which has yielded synthetic blood technology among other things, as well as the social and humanitarian evolution of their society as a whole which has eliminated most violence. Vampires feeding off humans in the traditional fashion prevalent within our folklore still happens but it is very sparse, the act considered barbaric and largely frowned upon by their society with a social stigma given to both the vampire and the human "pet".

Unlike our obsession to conquer space at any cost to our home planet and its finite resources available to us, they focused on achieving equilibrium between nature and technology so as not to cause unnecessary strain to the biosphere. Nothing goes to waste as evey useful material is recycled and used in the production of other goods, and our major problem of pollution is virtually non-existant for them seeing as how every person harbours respect towards nature. Their cities are as large and numerous as they are beautiful, perfectly blending lush forests and marine environments with sprawling cityscapes, their architecure not rising n defiance of nature but rather as an extension of the natural wonders of the world.

Their lack of interest to pursue space exploration has meant that their resources have been pooled into other fields of research, their technology advancing most prominently in the areas of quantum mechanics and parallel universe theory. The most notable fruits of this research have been the invention of STC disruptor transportation technology and faster-than-light communication, the former allowing for transport to and from different universes and the latter for communication between them. This radical new technologies have spawned an entire generation of young and aspiring explorers, which seek out not different stars or planets but rather alternate and bizarre variations of their own Earth.

The central hub of their world is an immense megalopolis named The Cradle situated where one would find our modern-day Baghdad, in the heart of the Middle East although it is known as the Central Planetary Nexus to them. Unlike our version however theirs has not suffered extensive desertification and as such The Cradle is nestled within lush tropical vegetation surrounded by the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. This city is home to a very powerful supercomputer whose sole purpose is to record all the scientific knowledge garnered by her people, as well as information about every single alternate Earth visited by the multitudes of explorers and recorded on their individual computers.

Even though they maintain a global government and have completely purged any traces of intraplanetary war, economic strife, and social injustice, their world is far from the perfect utopia it has the potential of being because they are constantly on the defensive from an enemy they cannot defeat. They are known as The Exodians and they believe that the existence of sentient races and their inevitable technological advancement will cause irreperable damage to the very fabric of reality if left unchecked. They assume different forms and appearances depending on the universe they are encountered in, but their ultimate goal will always be complete and utter destruction of advanced sentient life throughout the multiverse.

In response to this threat they needed to create a military force sufficiently strong to fight off the incessant attacks, and although they had the technology they lacked the necessary manpower to use the weapons efficiently. Humans were too physically weak and easily overwhelmed by the stress of using EV-powered weapons, whereas vampires had too low metabolisms to generate sufficient EV and were too sensitive to electromagntic radiation. So they turned to genetically engineered hybrids created from the genes of both species, who had all the strengths of both humans and vampires but none of their weaknesses. These "dhampir" as we would call them were given the choice to either go on freely with their lives or join the Earth Defence Initiative, the organisation which would be responsible for combating The Exodians and defending the planet from destruction. And this was how Aprella came into being, a member of these warriors and one of their very best.

In their world only very specific careers remain for its inhabitants to follow as mostly all forms of physical labour have been taken over by robotics, leaving the sentient beings to focus on science, technology, arcitecture, and the arts. Furthermore the standard global language is English which every inhabitant can speak fluently so there are no language barriers in any of these fields, although taking into consideration that Aprella was born and raised in London of the Greater Britannian Region this was not a problem. Her life was relatively uneventful seeing as she grew up receiving a formidable education in all the aforementioned fields much like every other citizen, although she also had to train vigourously and learn how to fight using EV weaponry from her early teenage years.

The Exodians have no definite physical form that anyone has become aware of since they appear different in each universe, and even in the same universe their form is varied and unpredictable. Some of them appear as gargantuan monsrosities while others are roughly humanoid in shape, wielding destructive energy beams and appearing as if made of liquid shadow given form. It has been discovered that they are weakest to EV-powered weaponry and this is why their entire military technology has focused on it, either through independant "dhampir" units wearing plugsuits identical to Aprella's used mainly against average-sized Exodians, or giant robotic mechas powered by the EV of the user nestled inside them and used against the larger Exodians.

When it was time to choose a direction Aprella was quick to settle on the freedom offered by the EV.A.N.G.E.L.I.O.N. plugsuits rather than the confines of the A.V.A.T.A.R. mechas without so much as a second though. After being deployed into active duty she was quick to make a name for herself with her reckless attitude during battle and her rash tactics, but mostly because of the sheer determination she shows even in the direst of situations and her refusal to back down no matter the odds. This has gotten her into quite a few tight spots over the years but she has always managed to get herself and her comrades out of them, though her recklessness has the habit of getting her into trouble with her superiors. Despite this she qualified for the position of squad leader where inspires her fellow warriors to fight almost as passionately as she does, trusting her with their lives completely and willing to follow her every command to their best of their ability.

Aprella is as much a reckless thrill-seeker and adventurist in her free time as she is when fighting the Exodians, an incurable adrenaline junkie who is always on the lookout for the next extreme sport to master and natural paradise to explore. However there are only so many things in a single planet for someone to do and now being sixty-four but youthful as ever because of her vampire genes, she has decided to take a respite from active duty and transfer to the Exodian Prevention and Multiverse Exploration Bureau. This is a sister organisation to the T.D.I. which sends "dhampir" units to alternate versions of Earth for exploration, information gathering, and combating Exodian presence wherever encountered. She now travels across universes looking for even more thrills and places to explore.


*EV is short for Élan Vital and is a term used to describe the life force energy that can be found in every living thing, the essence of consciousness itself in humans and the driving force behind the process of evolution. The strength of a person's EV is directly porportional to their mental fortitude and will to live, and as such is potentially inexhaustible but heavily dependant on one's state of mind.

**Chimaera refers to what is more commonly as "the thirst" in our world, which is the inherent need for vampires and dhampir to feed on human blood at regular intervals, alhough the severity and frequency of the need to feed is greatly reduced for dhampir.

***Meta-leather is a futuristic synthetic material that greatly resembles the strength and durability of the leather used in the olden times, albeit with a much more refined molecular structure and a smooth surface that allows it to become one with the user and not hinder any movements. It also has the added ability of being able to automatically seal cuts and tears made to it.
Last Edited by Cookie; 10-24-2009 at 09:13 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 10-14-2009, 06:30 AM
Drammor Drammor is a male United States Drammor is offline
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Re: Aprella Kai-Manika Olonae Isabella Valentine

Greetings, Cookie. I like what you've done with this character so far, she's very well put together and presented nicely. Kai definitely fits within the realm of sci-fi, as near as I can tell. Good job.

Since you're a veteran here, though, I'm going to be holding the standards for Kai a bit higher than I would for the characters of newer players. Most of this is good as it is, but there are a few things I'd like to address. So, let's get started, shall we?

Concerning her EV weapons and skills: how strong are her EV manifestations? What would it take to break them, or can that be done at all? How far away can she reach with the weapons she manifests? How fast can the EV thrusters make her move? How long can she fly with them? How long does it take her to manifest EV weapons, objects and so forth? Please address each of these questions, as her versatility will play a very large part in determining how powerful this character is, and therefore what measures will be necessary to balance her strengths.

Quote:
Being a Dhampir means she has greatly enhanced strength, speed, reflexes, agility and senses compared to the average human, but even that is just the tip of the iceberg when one considers what she's truly capable of. She has an extensive knowledge of unarmed combat coupled with decades of practice which make her a force to be reckoned with even without her plugsuit and gauntlets equipped. Aprella is also very knowledgeable on the histories and cultures of several important universes in the extensive multiverse she has become aware of, and has excellent command of a staggering amount of diverse languages. And last but most certainly not least her weapons are incredibly versatile and adaptable to any combat situation, allowing her to stand her ground against almost any opponent and defend herself against almost any attack.
How strong is she? How quickly can she move? These are fairly normal strengths for EH characters, but it would be nice to have a concrete point of reference here.

Quote:
Her major weakness boils down to the fact that her EV is wholly dependant on her state of mind and self-confidence, so any adversary who manages the difficult task of wearing her down mentally would have a significant upper hand over her as she would have greatly reduced offensive abilities. Secondly her generally reckless attitude tends to get her into trouble she could easily have avoided, even though she never gets herself into anything risky for the sake of self-gain but rather to help those in need. She also needs to keep herself in top physical and mental condition to allow her to cope with the stress of relying on her EV all the time, as well as giving her the energy reserve from where she actually draws the power for the use of her abilities.
From what I can see, these weaknesses don't go very far toward offsetting her strengths. She's not only a powerhouse, but she's frighteningly versatile and her power source is very difficult to take away from her.

You said that her EV is dependant on her confidence and frame of mind, but her personality indicates that wearing these down is difficult to do, at best. It seems to me like this weakness has been shot in the foot. Her second weakness is also very closely tied to her personality. Recklessness can be a weakness, but you also said that she's always been able to pull through despite having this weakness. So, I'm left wondering how debilitating this weakness really is. Finally, she needs to keep herself in peak shape to keep effective use of her EV abilities. Elsewhere, you mentioned that she's still incredibly dangerous without EV, and I'm having a hard time seeing how this can be abused in mid-combat.

I'd like to see a more substantial weakness on this character before I can approve it. Try to think of something that isn't closely tied to her personality, and is also something that can be thoroughly abused.

Naturally, her bio looks fine. It's very well written, and it does an excellent job of framing her past, despite being mostly impersonal to the character. Good work, there.

Now, on an overall note. I understand that you were trying to be over the top with Kai, but I've noticed several traits on her that fit into the Mary Sue category. Although these have little to do with the approvability of a character, being mindful of them and perhaps pulling back on some of those features can make Kai more believable and attractive as a character, and less like a mid-80s anime protagonist. Personally, I use this test for my own characters, and I find that it works just fine. Of course, this part is only advice, and won't have an effect on whether or not I approve this character.

So, if you would take care of those things and answer those questions for me, I think we'll be on our way toward putting another great character in the EH.
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Old 10-15-2009, 06:36 AM
Cookie Cookie is offline
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Re: Aprella Kai-Manika Olonae Isabella Valentine

Okay, um... firstly I should specify something that concerns almost every issue you've pointed out, but which I didn't mention because I thought it fairly obvious. She can push her EV powers quite a bit if she feels the need to, but if you take into account that her abilities draw power from her actual life-force, the more she uses them the greater the physical and mental toll on her. If she were to go completely all-out she'd probably exhaust herself within minutes, and reckless as she is she still knows how to conserve her strength. She may have exceptional willpower and determination, but that still provides her with a finite amount of vigour each day. As a result you'll mostly see her fighting conservatively and rather stylishly, only using stronger attacks should she need to.

Now concerning her EV skills -- the strength of the manifestations depend directly on the amount of energy she uses to create them, but aside her most powerful special offensive skills and her defensive skills to an extent, most of her manifestations don't use up a lot of energy and are pretty durable. As for what would break them... a powerful enough weapon, most likely an energy weapon, or simply Aprella losing her concentration. As for range that again depends on the energy she puts in, as well as the kind of weapon. Her whips for example could reach 10 metres, if she manifested a sword it would be the length of a sword, but her mega cannon skill would logically have a range of 200 feet easily. Her thruster ability being a passive skill means it doesn't really use up much energy, and she could theoretically maintain quite a high speed in air of say 100 km/h relatively easily, but any higher speeds would proportionately use up more of her energy. EV manifestation doesn't really require more than a few seconds at most -- it's not like summoning or conjuring a spell, she just "wills" it to be.

As for her strength, well... a bit less than your typical vampire, I suppose. It would be a bit inelegant to include exact numbers in her profile, which is why I compared her to your average human. But for discussion's sake let's say she can lift a tonne at most, and sprint at about 70 km/h max, really fast reflexes, and... she can heal minor wounds relatively quickly. She's not really that special on her own, yes she is quite formidable and a good fighter, but she loses all her special EV abilities without her plugsuit.

About her weaknesses, I think what you were looking for is what I mentioned in the first paragraph, because frankly I can't think of anything else unless I start making things up.

As for the Mary-Sue qualities, I did look it up but there's not really anything I'd want to change, she's supposed to be a bit cheesy. But anyway, anything specific you noticed? I'm open to suggestions.
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Old 10-17-2009, 10:00 AM
Drammor Drammor is a male United States Drammor is offline
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Re: Aprella Kai-Manika Olonae Isabella Valentine

Thank you, Cookie. The answers that you came up with were great.

We discussed that her concentration is important to her ability to manifest EV, that her manifestations can be broken by strong enough attacks, that she cannot reuptake EV once she's manifested it (which means that just using EV can slowly tire her out), and that extended use of her EV can impact her Chimaera, which in turn would affect her ability to be rational as she draws nearer to a bloodlust, which can be dangerous if she doesn't have any haemo packs. Perhaps you would consider editing those into her weaknesses? I can already think of a half dozen ways that her opponents could take advantage of those things.

As for the Mary Sue qualities, I only wanted you to be aware that they are there, and that can detract from how much fun it can be to play with this character. I haven't got anything in particular that I wanted to bring to your attention on that.
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Old 10-17-2009, 12:04 PM
Cookie Cookie is offline
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Re: Aprella Kai-Manika Olonae Isabella Valentine

Edits made, and... I think that covers it. X3
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Old 10-17-2009, 12:44 PM
Drammor Drammor is a male United States Drammor is offline
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Re: Aprella Kai-Manika Olonae Isabella Valentine

Hey, awesome. Just one more thing...

*Approved*
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