Ralalta Zorozin

Name: Ralalta Zorozin

Age: 17

Race: Zora

Sex: Female

Hair: She has no actual hair, but a tail similar to a whale's or a fish's sticking out from the back of her head substitutes this. It is turquoise/blue and is slightly iridescent.

Eyes: Green

Weight: 135 pounds

Height: 5 feet, 4 inches

Weapon: A tall spear with a sharp blade and a pole made of carved, hollow pink coral. Can be split into two halves, both connected by a chain hidden inside the spear, and can be used similar to a nunchaku this way... but, y’know, bigger. The spear, from the bottom of the pole to the tip of the blade, is 6 feet tall.

Armor: Although she does not have any direct armor on her body, she can occasionally use defensive bursts of electricity (it's basically a biological Zora ability, only some can use it better than others) that will surround her body, deflecting certain projectiles. It may also help in countering up-close attacks, if performed at the right time. Anyone in contact with her when she uses this will receive a jolting shock to a minor spark, depending on size, endurance, or any kind of ability to withstand such things.

Strengths: She can breathe underwater and is very good at swimming. She is streamlined and can swim swiftly in the water (about 45 miles per hour), which may give her an advantage in certain situations. She is also very fit, and is able to handle objects of a slightly greater weight and mass than the average man could handle, sometimes up to 160 pounds (does that sound like too much? Ugh, I'm horrible with weight...).

Weakness: She is very vulnerable to ice and fire. An ice attack or use of flames can badly injure her. She becomes weak under extreme temperatures, high or low. A broken left arm from long ago has now healed, but leaves it a weak spot. She is also much clumsier on land than in the water.

Skills/Magic: She can breathe underwater and is very skilled at swimming. She can use her spear with deadly accuracy, better in water than on dry land. She also has a small magic harp which she can play (not very well, but she's getting better) to lull weaker enemies (such as small creatures or animals, or young children) to sleep with. It is golden and light-weight, and has four strings. The louder and harder she plays the farther its reach is and the bigger the creatures it can effect, but when trying to play like this it is easier for her to make a mistake and break the spell. She can currently only play very soft, simple notes. The harp has other abilities as well, but Ralalta isn't nearly good enough to use them yet.

Appearance: Ralalta, as a Zora, shares many similarities with fish but is a humanoid figure. She has gills on her stomach and cheeks, as well as lungs, so she can breathe in water and out. She has fins and flippers, like aquatic animals, but has arms, legs, a face, and a head like any human being.

She has shiny blue-green skin with hints of purple here and there, but has silvery skin on her torso and part of her arms and legs. Her skin is slightly iridescent. She has broad fins on her arms and a fish-tail fin on the back of her head, looking a bit like hair. Her fins are bright yellowish orange. She has piercing green eyes, and soft facial features. Her slender legs end in flipper-like feet. There are small, ornamental dots along her head and feet.

She has a few gold bangles on her arms and legs, a small necklace with a jade pendant, a gold hoop around her waist with little green and blue beads, and a messenger bag near her hip.

Personality: Ralalta is often shy and reluctant to interact with new people, but around people she is familiar with she can be very expressive and often stubborn. She is sometimes rude without realizing it, and will blurt things out unintentionally. She is usually kind and very fun-loving, although sometimes too much and will get involved with mischief of some sort because of it. She loves the water, is indifferent about land, and hates ice and fire, unless it is chilling her lemonade or lighting the way in a dark tunnel.

She is very serious when it comes to protecting the rights of living creatures, and will go to no bounds to help an animal in any sort of harm. She also hates people that are cruel or abusive toward innocent beings. If involved in a fight, she will either battle to the death or retreat, whatever works better for the thing she is trying to protect. Trying to protect something is one of the only reasons that she ever will get into a fight.

She is a believer of the three goddesses of the Triforce (Din, Farore, and Nayru), as most people born in Hyrule are, but sometimes resents their more impassionate acts told about in legends.

Biography: Born and raised an only child in Zora’s Domain, Ralalta has spent the majority of her life there. She narrowly missed being born as royalty; she was born in the only part of her family tree that is not or has not had a prince, princess, king or queen.

As a little girl, her father beat her anytime he caught her being vain, as he thought vanity was reserved only for the weak and foolish. Her mother was as caring and loving as any mother could be, but died from a mysterious disease when she was only five. Spending the early years of her life in Zora’s Domain with her father, she was far from spoiled and lived a typical and fairly peaceful life of average hardships and happenings. She had one friend, a little Zora boy whose name she never learned but who she was very friendly with most of her childhood. Her father was murdered by a crazed Hylian who greatly disliked and did not agree with some of his political views. Her Zora friend reluctantly moved away with his family a few months later, leaving her completely alone.

She finally got a chance to do something with her life when she enlisted to be a warrior for the Zora royal family. She spent several years living alone after her father was killed, taking orders from the royal family with the other members of the guard. One day, when a mission called for the murdering of several large Kargorocs (large dragon/bird creatures that tend to terrorize the populace) that were keeping important trade ships from traveling down river to the capital, she refused to allow her fellow warriors to carry the mission out. She even went as far as injuring one of the other warriors who failed to listen to her, causing her to be branded a traitor by the jumpy royal family. She was disgraced and stripped of her warrior status.

After a long and lonely period of social exile among her fellow Zoras, Ralalta was allowed forgiveness by one of her royal cousins for saving the life of a pregnant Zora mother a short time later. She was placed in the complementary position of Royal Messenger for the Zora royal family. She spent a few peaceful years of her life carrying out her duty for the royal family, until she became tired of it all and decided to travel the world.

Her current goals, while traveling, are to bring animal rights awareness to foreign populations, to find out more about the strange disease that took her mother's life, and to half-heartedly (although she didn't like her father much, she felt it was an obligation) find her father's murderer.
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So... that's my first character here. Tell me if there's any problem! I'll be happy to fix it. Thanks... :3

Alright, Swizzles. I like this character, so far. It's very well put together for a first character. However, there are a few things that will need a touch of work. So, let's get to work on this, shall we?

Hair: Well... It’s a Zora fin on her head, like the ones in Twilight Princess. Blue/Turquoise, and slightly iridescent.

As strange as this may sound, not everyone in the EH is familiar with the LoZ games. Could you find a way to say this without referencing Twilight Princess, please?

She also has a small magic harp she can play (not very well, but she's getting better) to lull weaker enemies to sleep with.

I'd like to know more about this in particular, please. What do you mean by weaker enemies? Does she have to target individuals with it? Does it affect everyone around her? How far can it reach? Can she do other things with her harp? And, although it is not critical, could you describe her harp somewhere, perhaps in her appearance?

Appearance: She looks very similar to any Zora from Twilight Princess, but of course she has her own unique features.
She has shiny blue-green skin with hints of purple here and there, but has silvery skin on her torso and part of her arms and legs. Her skin is slightly iridescent.
She has broad fins on her arms and a fish-tail fin on the back and top of her head, looking a bit like hair. Her fins are bright yellowish orange.
She has piercing green eyes, and soft facial features. Her slender legs end in flipper-like feet.
There are small, ornamental dots along her head and feet. She has a few gold bangles on her arms and legs, a small necklace with a jade pendant, a gold hoop around her waist with little green and blue beads, and a messenger bag near her hip.

This is good, but there are a couple of things I need to see. First, please remember that not everyone knows what a zora is, and write a description of Ralalta which would also explain the basics of her features. Second, please arrange these sentences into paragraph form. And lastly, if you think you can manage, I'd like to see this expanded into two paragraphs. If that isn't something you can do, just let me know.

I'd like you to separate the paragraphs of your character's personality and biography, so that it seems less like a broken wall of text.

On the topic of her personality, the EH caters to characters of many different kinds. In fact, only a small number of the characters here are from the Legend of Zelda setting, so many people may not be familiar with Ralalta's religious outlook. This isn't an issue of something that needs to be changed or spruced up; I'm just letting you know.

About her biography. The death of one's father is a pretty big deal, but it seems to have been mentioned only in passing, here. Could you expand on that at all? Also, what is a kargoroc?

If you could fix up those things for me and answer the questions I've asked, then I believe we would have a great on getting this character approved. Please just edit in the changes, and then make a post once you're done, and I'll have another look.

Okay, I fixed what you asked. I'm not quite sure exactly what you wanted me to do with the paragraphs, but I spaced some things differently. How is it now?

That looks much better, Swizzles, thank you for making those changes. You definitely seem to have gotten the gist of what I wanted done with those paragraphs, as well. There are just a few things I'd like to fine-tune, now.

Weapon: A tall spear with a sharp blade and a pole made of carved, hollow pink coral. Can be split into two halves, both connected by a chain hidden inside the spear, and can be used similar to a nun chuck this way... but, y’know, bigger.

I'd like to know how long that spear is. Ralalta is only 5' 4", so tall could mean tall for her, but not other people. Please clarify this for us. Also, I believe the word you're looking for on that second part is "nunchaku," nun chuck is a fairly crude romanization of the name for those weapons.

Strengths: She can breathe underwater and is very good at swimming. She is streamlined and can swim swiftly in the water, which may give her an advantage in certain situations. She is also very fit, and is able to handle objects of a slightly greater weight and mass than the average man could handle.

You said that she can swim swiftly. How fast does she move while swimming? About how much weight can she lift?

Weakness: She is very vulnerable to ice and fire. A broken left arm from long ago has now healed, but leaves it a weak spot. She is also much clumsier on land than in the water.

I need to know how vulnerable this character is to ice and fire. Also, is it just ice and fire, or does this extend to cold and heat, as well? What kind of an effect does it have on her?

I've also noticed that this profile is missing an Armor section. I get the idea from her appearance that she doesn't have any armor, but I would like you to create that section and clarify this, just in case she does have some armor on her, or perhaps something armor-like. Examples may be especially tough skin, that weird electricity thing that Link did in MM, a spell or similar effect that she could be familiar with, and so forth.

Okay, I fixed and added more. About the nunchaku thing, that is what I usually call it, but my stupid spellchecker gives me alternate spellings for things that I click without paying much attention to, especially if I'm trying to write quickly.

Alright, that looks good to me. As she gets better with her harp, I'd like you to come back here and note on any other abilities she learns to use with it, as well as other ways that she may change over time, but that's just advice for moving forward.

*Approved*

Thank you, you've been a great help. Yay!