[Power Shot] Hochgender Adler's Training

Chapter 1: The Isle, the Wolf, and the Dome

Hochgender was relaxing at his safehouse in Ireland. "I just love these early hours of the morning," he thought idly. He heard scratching at the door. When he looked to investigate there was just an envelope on the door mat. He checked and saw that they were deep scratches and it looked like 2 things had made them.

"It looks like wolf made them," he thought. Then it occurred to him that his safehouse was hidden in a dense grove of a forest. "The only person that knows about this safehouse is Uncle, and he's in Italy. So who could it be?" he wondered.

Crouched in a bush Hoch wondered, "Who sent that damned letter. All it said was, 'Meet me in the middle of the forest at midnight.'" and it was simply signed 'W'. Now he was waiting in a bush for a mystery character that could be a mad axe men for all he knew. Atleast he gathered some details of this part of the forest. He repeated them in his head, "Four red flowers in the center, a circle of bushes 2 meters in diameter, a robin's nest in the tree on the left, an odd glint to the right, a deer 5 meters aw- Wait! An odd glint? It's getting closer..." Hoch ducked and heard something whiz over his head. "Damn, how could I not have seen that?" He waited to see if there was movement...

There it was! Something black about 6 meters away and it was moving slowly away. You could barely tell Hoch was moving at first. He then started moving faster, but not too fast, almost faster than a turtle. The thing was moving faster now, soon it would be out of Hoch's line of sight. He brake into a run. "This thing is fast," he thought. He threw a knife at it... THUNK.

"Damn, it hit a tree. I'll grab it on the way to it. Wait. What is that?!" Hoch hadn't noticed the black shape change into a door. "It probaly isn't safe to go in here. Then again, The Germany thing wasn't safe but he did it. I guess I don't care about safety. Why stop now?" and he opened the door.

"What is this place?"

OoC: Someone was confused but the italics are either emphasis or what Hoch is thinking.

How odd. Your writing style reveals a great deal about you and your character. He seems uncomfortable with his surroundings, which is why description is kept to a minimum. The world is isolated, black and white, to show how little your character percieves his surroundings. Keep these things in mind.

Assignment Time!

The door leads you to a strange place, what could it be? Take a look around and describe your surroundings, you're in a kitchen! And the entree is you! Quickly, escape the maddened cook when she comes for you, and fight her off! Take care, though, for every ingredient is as deadly as its cook. Use your imagination for this, but remember that you must escape before the maddened woman devours you!

Subdue the cook, and tie her up. 500 word minimum.

Hoch looked around this odd place. There was a black tile floor with white mortar and the same or the walls. The ceiling couldn't be seen because of the large number of pots hanging from it. Most were copper but some steel ones could be made out. There were wooden cabinets lining most of the walls. In the middle was a granite counter and a half cut onion. Hoch was in a kitchen! He couldn't believe it. Hoch looked around the room again. He noticed an open cabinet on the other end of the room. Someone seemed to be looking for something.

"Hello?" he called out. The someone jumped in surprise and knocked off half the spices in the cabinet.

"Who is that!?" a whiny voice called. Hoch looked it over and realized the someone was a she. A fat she at that. She had blond hair. She was dressed as a chef in white clothes and a white chef's hat. There were stains running down her apron. Hoch assumed she was the chef of this kitchen.

"I'm Hochgender Adler. Who are you?" he questioned. Hoch could smell something burning. When looking for the source, he found it on the floor. The spices the chef had knocked over were melting a hole in the floor! Hoch would be careful to not eat anything the chef cooked.

"Hochgender Alder. What a delic-pretty name. What a pretty name." she said.

A pretty name? What was she about to say the first time. It sounded like "delicious" but that couldn't be possible. Hoch looked at the hole in the floor.

Then again...

"My name is Carol."

"Huh?"

"You asked me what my name was. It's Carol."

"Ahh. Do you realize there's a hole melted in your floor?"

"No I didn't," Carol giggled, "but someone might fall through. I'll have to get it fixed."

Who would giggle about a hole in their floor!?

"It was, erm, fun talking to you. I'll be leaving now." Hoch turned away. He heard a whizzing sound behind him and ducked instinctively. A knife hit the wall a foot above his head, cracking the black tile it landed in.

Damn.

"You're not going anywhere, young man. I haven't made dinner yet and you made me drop my good spices. I'm going to make 'Adler Stew'. I'll use lots of cinnamon and nutmeg. Ohh, I'll add some carrots too. Don't you see what fun this is?" rambled Carol.

"No, I don't," Hoch said as he threw the knife in the tile at Carol. She blocked the knife with her cleaver and caught the knife in midair. The knife in her left hand and the cleaver in the right. She began sharpening each with the other's flat side. She smiled impishly and she had a crazy look in her eye that told Hoch he wasn't going to get away easily. Hoch took the thin blade from his boot and threw it at Carol while jumping over the counter. Carol blocked the blade with the cleaver again but wasn't prepared for a hit in the face with the flat of his sword.

I'm just going to knock her out. No killing. Carol looked as if she hadn't been hit. Hoc was very surprised by this. Carol turned around slowly and got a tin out of the cabinet behind her. It was labeled 'NUTMEG'. Hoch was mildly surprised by this. She then unscrewed the lid and threw the contents of it at Hoch. The brownish orange powder hit Hoch's arm because he'd held it up in defense. His arm instantly began to feel as if it was on fire. Hoch saw the steam rising from it and a smell similar to ash hit his nostrils. He rushed to the sink and washed it off. The skin where the powder was was now red and hairless.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" he asked Carol.

Carol pointed to the label and said, "Nutmeg."

"Why'd you throw burning nutmeg at me?!"

"Your sword hurt."

"There's something else that will hurt," Hoch said as he punched Carol in the nose. He heard a sickening crack and the smell of blood filled the air. For the first time Carol frowned at him. She snapped her nose back into place and poured another spice on it. Her nose stopped bleeding. She took out a bottle labeled 'OLIVE OIL', unscrewed the top, and threw the contents at Hoch. Not wanting to risk blocking another attack again with his arm, Hoch ducked under the counter. He heard a sizzle and smelled something like vomit. He got out from behind the counter and saw the olive oil melting holes in items on the counter. While he was still looking at the melting items, Carol charged at him, cutting the air with her knife and cleaver. Hoch held up his sword and blocked the swipes. He resisted the urge to roll (on account of the extra olive oil still dripping onto the floor) and jumped over Carol. He picked up his thin blade and began to fight with it too. Carol and Hoch were fighting so fast it looked as if each of them had six weapons and not two.

Why isn't anyone coming to check what's happening? The noise should draw a little attention and the holes should get a lot of it. He swiped at Carol's left hand. It hit, cutting off her pinkie finger. She screamed and took all the spices from the top shelf and threw them at Hoch. There was no pain but Hoch was cocooned in a black tar. He struggled to escape but it had hardened already. It smelled like wood and felt like wet clay. Carol had her impish grin back. She took the olive oil bottle and poured it on the cocoon. Carol sat down in a chair and watched. The olive oil was at Hoch's chest and slowly eating down into the tar cocoon. Hoch shifted his weight and the cocoon fell to the ground. The oil was now running from his chest to the right. It ate away at the tar surrounding his arms. Hoch's right arm was now free. He used it to smash the rest of the tar cocoon. He got up and looked at Carol. She was looking out into blank space. Hoch walked toward her but that impish grin was frozen on her face. Hoch was angry at her and punched her a few times. There was still no reaction. In case it was a trick, he decided to tie her up. For some reason, he found there were ropes in a nearby cabinet. He tied up Carol: one length bound her to the chair, another bound her hands together, one bound her legs to the chair legs, and the last covered her face so Hoch didn't have to look at that annoying smile.

OoC: I hope you like.

EDIT: Could you please fix the typo in the thread title? It's annoying the hell out of me. XD

*hopes it's one of the super powers a mod possesses*

Heh. I like how you managed to give Carol quite a distinct personality for an NPC. You seem to take care of how your characters interact, a good quality of any writer, though I feel that you're transitions between action and dialog could use some more work. Normally, they speak, they have interaction, they speak, and the cycle repeats. Try integrating both halves in your next assignment.

Assignment Time!

Now that Carol is subdued, how will you ever get out of the kitchen? Surely you cannot leave her the way she is, what if someone else found her? Madness! Fortunately, there is a way to make things right! As you turn to leave the kitchen, a happy little ghost known as the Domerii emerges, the personal attendant of the Dark Eye. It tells you that you must cook a special brownie to bring Carol to her senses, using one of the books in the kitchen. But don't think Carol will stand by and take this, as she puts you down and insists you will never succeed. Bear through her psychological torture and finish cooking!

End your post having finished the brownie, but don't feed it to her yet! 1,500 words, please. And, for fun, use ten different things to describe Hotch other than his name. Good luck!

Hoch looked for a way out of the kitchen but none could be seen at first. He opened up one of the cabinets. It was a dark, damp, and rather smelly room with cooking ingredients as far as Hoch could see. The next cabinet was a an entire library of cook books. It looked like the previous room but with books instead of ingredients. He walked around quickly but found no exit door. Behind the third door he found a large red door at the end of a candlelit hallway. He opened the door and saw a bustling hallway of people. He heard the chattering from speaking that is only noise but no distinct words could be made out.

"Wait!" yelped something behind Hoch and the door slammed shut. It wasn't Carols' voice. Carol's voice was lower. If a bat could talk, this would be its voice.

The assassin turned around and asked, "Who's there?"

A little ghost floated down from the ceiling. "I'm a Domerii, the assistant to your teacher," it said happily.

"My teacher?" asked the confused mercenary.

"You don't know? This is The Dome! A place warriors, magicians, archers, and all other manner of fighters seek to train under the best teachers in the universe."

"I suppose that explains it... Why can't I leave though?" the bounty hunter asked impatiently.

"Imagine what would happen if someone else got to Carol," he replied sounding like a smart aleck.

A brief image of melted corpses being stewed in a large copper pot floated through Hoch's mind. He also heard a twisted laugh. "Fine, I'll help. What can I do?"

"You have to make an Anti-Batty Brownie! It's in one of Carol's cook books."

"An Anti-Batty Brownie?" the swordsman asked sceptically.

"Yes. It's right above the Crazy Cake. It's in one of Carol's cook books."

"I feel like you're mocking me," the new chef said grumpily. He'd never been good at baking. He preferred hunting something down to cooking it over a log fire. Much easier and less fatty.

"This is a very serious matter!"

"Fine then, I'll get to work," he said as he searched a cabinet for the book. I know I saw some in one of the cabinets. It was either when I was looking for the rope or the door out.

"Good," said the ghost as it floated toward the ceiling slowly.

"Wait! Aren't you going to help me?"

"Hmmmmm," pondered the Domerii. "Nah, I'll let you do it yourself," and quickly flew through the ceiling.

Carol had managed to get the rope on her mouth loose enough so she could speak. The chef started talking as soon as the ghost left. "You'll never make that brownie. It's the most difficult thing to make. Besides, I don't even have some of the ingredients for it."

She's trying to throw me off, he thought as he searched for the cook book in the book room he had come across when looking for the exit. "Gotcha!" he said happily as he pulled out a large green book. He went back in the kitchen because there was better lighting there. He blew the dust off and flipped through the worn, brown pages until he found what he wanted.

Well I'll be damned. There it is: 'Anti-Batty Brownie' right above 'Crazy Cake'. Just like that ghost thing said. The recipe read something like this:

INGREDIENTS:
---Brownies---
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup coffee, strongly brewed
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1/2 cup buttermilk
2 eggs
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
---Frosting---
1/2 cup butter
2 tablespoons cocoa
1/4 cup milk
1-1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees and lightly grease an 11 X 17 inch baking pan. In a large mixing bowl, combine flour and sugar. In a heavy saucepan over medium heat, combine butter, shortening, coffee and cocoa. Stir constantly until heated to a boil. Pour boiling mixture over flour and sugar. Add buttermilk, eggs, baking soda and vanilla. Mix well, using a wooden spoon or high speed mixer. Pour batter into baking pan. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until done in the center.

Meanwhile, prepare the frosting by combining butter, cocoa and milk in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir frequently until heated to a boil. Mix in powdered sugar and vanilla and stir until smooth. Pour warm frosting over brownies as soon as they come out of the oven. Cool and cut into square pieces.

Hoch walked to the oven and set it for 400 degrees. He'd found the grease in the room of ingredients he came across when he was looking for the exit. He went into that room and found it on the fifth shelf from the door. He searched for a pan and found a nice copper one in a drawer. He greased it then set it aside. Hoch looked around for a mixing bowl. He glanced up and saw an average sized silver one hanging on the ceiling with the pots. He retrieved it and set it on the table.

"You'll never guess what I've cooked in that pan. You would be scared of it just by its name," Carol said eerily.

"That doesn't bother me. This brownie is for you," the annoyed baker replied as he searched for an apron. Hoch found the aprons in the largest cabinet. When he had combined the flour and sugar, he'd managed to get a good bit of flour dust on himself. It looked like he'd just come out of a blizzard. He set that bowl aside and got a heavy bronza saucepan from the ceiling. He set the saucepan on the burner and put the burner on medium heat.

"I wouldn't use that one if I were you," said Carol. "The one beside it is better. The one you're using will only go half the heat of what you want."

She's playing mind games. She tells me to use the other one which makes me keep on using this one. So the right answer is the other one. Hoch switched burners. But what if she knew I'd do that and this one is the bad burner? No, it's safer for her to just tell me the right thing.

Carol didn't interrupt again until Hoch got out the eggs.

"Don't use those. They're rotten."

"You're making this reallll hard for me, Carol," said Hoch as he set aside the eggs and retrieved the other carton of eggs from the fridge. "My uncle taught me a trick to see if the egg's rotten or not. When an egg is rotten and you shake it by your ear you can hear it moving. When it's a good egg you don't hear it," Hoch shook two of the eggs by his ear. He couldn't hear any noise. Just to be safe, he cracked them into a small bowl first. But mainly because he wanted to show off that he could crack each egg with only one hand.

No shells in the bowl. I'm kinda surprised at myself. he thought as he threw the shells behind his back at Carol. The expert egg cracker put in the rest of the ingredients and proceeded with the instructions. When he finally poured the batter in the greased pan, he thought it looked like hot sticky tar. He stuck it in the oven and shut the oven door.

"You have to make the frosting but there's no powdered sugar!" said Carol delightedly.

Hoch pulled out his sword, pointing it at Carol's throat.

"I'm getting tired of hearing you talk," the swordsman said as he kicked her over and picked up the canister of powdered sugar she had been concealing.

"Anything else you'd like to say before I go back to cooking?" he snarled.

She simply shook her head.

"Good," said the still aggravated fighter.

The frosting was just starting to boil now. The baker mixed in the powdered sugar and vanilla. It was nice and smooth. He turned the heat to low so it would simmer. There were still a few minutes left before the brownies were done. The cook walked over to the oven and peered in. The brownies were now definitely solid but still too doughy in the middle. They smelled great and he couldn't help but want to eat one. However, he decided against it in case they had a reverse effect on a sane person.

"I'll never let you feed one of those to me," Carol said.

As fast as he could the skilled marksman took the crossbow off his back and shot a bolt right at Carol's left palm.

"AHHH!" the fat woman screamed as bled fell from the wound. "What was that for?!"

"I told you to shut up. You didn't. That was your warning shot. I don't care how good a chef you are when you're sane, the next one goes in your head," he replied testily.

DING!

The bleeding chef jumped at the sound but said,"Brownies are done," hoping she didn't get hit for speaking out of turn.

I hadn't noticed. Hoch thought as he took out the brownies and poured the frosting on them. They looked beautiful and smelled great. He could smell some of the coffee in it. He cut them into small squares and set one on a plate for Carol.

OoC: This one was hard for me to but that was just because of the word minimum. I also didn't think I had Carol talk much. I could also clearly tell in some places where I was short on ideas for the name thing. XD

I do not believe I have ever heard anyone referred to as an "expert egg cracker". What is the criteria for such excellence?

Good job.

Assignment Time!

Finally it is time to cure Carol with the Anti-Batty Brownie! But, before you can, consider this: how will you feed it to her? Surely she will not eat it willingly. Find a way to feed Carol the brownie, but be careful...if you take too long she might wriggle out of the restraints and attack you again!

Feed Carol the brownie using the most comical method possible. 1,000 word minimum. And use more dialog, it seems to be a bit of a weak spot for you.

OoC: He cracked it with one hand and there were no shell pieces in the bowl. That makes him an expert.

BiC: Carol looked at the brownie. "I'm not eating it," she said, sounding like a child.

"You're tied up and I have a sword, crossbow, knife and God knows what else you have in here. You're eating the brownie," Hoch replied as he searched for a fork.

Carol looked at him. Hoch found a fork and looked up. Carol was just staring blankly at him. She looked like a doll. Just sitting there glass eyed staring at nothing.

She won't stay like that for long. I need to give her the brownie fast. Hoch used the side of the fork to cut the brownie into four roughly equal pieces. He stabbed the fork into a brownie piece and approached Carol.

Carol closed her mouth and let out an, "Um, um." sound that told Hoch he wasn't going to feed her easily. Hoch approached her and her lips turned white because she had her lips so tight. All in the same moment he punched her in the forehead, she gasped in surprise, he stuck the fork in her mouth, and still surprised she swallowed the brownie.

"Ha!" Hoch said in triumph.

Carol smiled and said, "There's still more brownie and you're not gonna do that easily next time."

Hoch muttered something about Carol being a smart ass and put another piece of brownie on the end of the fork. Once again he punched Carol in the forehead. There was almost no reaction. He continued to punch her but there was no reaction except Carol getting angrier.

"Thtop that!" she said, her voice muffled by her closed lips.

"I don't think I will. Not unless you eat this brownie of course," Hoch replied.

"No," Carol said, sounding angry, well, as angry as you can sound when it's hard to tell what you're saying.

Hoch decided to use a different tactic. He slapped her across the face and she let out a gasp. He quickly stuck the fork in her mouth. It must have hit some part of her mouth or throat because the chef's eyes began to water up. He quickly slid the fork out, brownie-free, and closed her mouth tight. She looked at the assassin and gave him a you-know-I-won't-swallow-this look. Hoch quickly hit her in the throat and she immediately swallowed.

"So much for that plan," he said with a smug grin.

"There's still brownie left. You're not gonna feed it to me easily."

You'd think the brownie would have taken effect by now. But no, she's still crazy as ever. Does this even work? What if that Domerii works for her and she called it when I tied her up. This could make Carol even crazier or even stronger. I'm just gonna have to feed her the brownie and hope for the best.

"Have you given up?" Carol asked.

Hoch put a piece of brownie on the fork and threw his sword at Carol's foot. She let out a blood curling scream. Hoch threw the brownie in her mouth and she swallowed on instinct.

"Not a chance." he said.

"Can you take your sword out of my foot? Pleeeeeeeease?" she asked.

"Hmmm..." Hoch pondered. "No. I'll leave it in there. I'll take it out when you eat the brownie."

Hoch tried every way he could think of to get Carol to eat the brownie. He started off with the previous ways that had been successful. Those only gave him an angry grunt each. He then tried jiggling his sword around while it was in her foot.

"Nah gonna work," was her muffled response to that.

Hoch set the fork on the counter and sat down across from Carol.

"Why are you doing this? Do you like being crazy?" he asked.

The response was given after a few seconds of pondering. "I don't exactly like it. It does give me some entertainment, though."

"Entertainment?"

She giggled. "My mind will supply me with interesting things without me thinking of them. Some are quite fun." She giggled again.

She's more crazy now than ever. Well "Night is it's darkest before the morning." or something of that sort. So Carol's her craziest before all the brownie is given? He resisted the urge to snicker. God, now she has me going nuts.

"Something bothering you?" she asked, making Hoch lose his train of thought.

"Huh?"

"You seemed to be thinking again."

"I was," he said flatly. Quickly Hoch picked up the fork and threw at Carol's open mouth.

Carol had managed to wiggle her arm out of the tight ropes and caught the fork. "That was surprising," she said while looking at her arm.

Damn. She's fast. A side-effect of the brownie maybe?

"There you go thinking again. Why don't you talk?" she said now looking at the fork and stroking the engravings.

"Uh... Can I have the fork?"

"No."

"Can I please have the fork?"

"Sure."

Hoch slowly approached Carol and timidly took the fork. Carol didn't seem to react. He decided the same tactic might work again.

"Will you please eat this brownie?"

She giggled but it sounded forced and eerie. "You're tricky, aren't you? I'll have to watch out." She giggled the same forced one again.

She's crazy. There's no way I'm gonna get her to eat this brow-- "Hey! Stop that!"

Carol had been wiggling her other arm free.

"No," she said and took her other arm out.

Hoch got up and pointed the fork at her and said, "Eat this brownie now and it'll be easier for both of us. At this rate I'm gonna have to have the rest of the brownies," then he took a quick glance at the brownies.

"Ha ha ha ha. Then would I have to feed you the brownies? That would be fun. Fun indeed," she said quickly. She also smiled big, showing all her teeth in doing so.

That would be an interesting thing to see... Hold on a second! That's it! She's still crazy. I need to talk to her how she understands: Like I'm crazy. The problem now is how to do it...

"Stop thinking!" Carol shouted.

Hoch looked at her in surprise and she regained her composure. "Wanna have the brownie now?" he said more to break the tension than to try.

"You keep on asking that. The persistence is starting to annoy me," she said then promptly began trying to undo the ropes.

"Wait!" he said and approached her. He raised the fork and said, "Here comes the choo-choo."

"Wow. I choo-choo in my mouth. Wait a second. My mouth isn't for trains!"

"It's uh... That's not a mouth! It's a tunnel. And your tummy is the station."

"Oh," she said and quickly ate the brownie. Her hands went limp, her eyes closed, and her head tilted forward.

Hoch stepped away.

Carol opened her eyes and tried to stand up. "Wh-- Why am I tied up? Where am I?" Her voice was less shrill now.

"It's a long story," Hoch said as he grinned and sat down happily.

Assignment Time!

As the craziness vanishes from Carol, suddenly, she glows and transforms into a pig! Oh, the irony of becoming you are what you eat! The Domerii appears, and the happy ghost emerges to inform Hotch that there might be a way to help Carol. In the depths of the Library, there dwells a sensei who is called the Dark Eye, who does have the power to cure her with his medicines and cures. Head for the Library!

End your post entering the Library. 1,500 word minimum.