{Power Shot} Nightshade's Training

[Λύσις]

Just around 1300 words. For the sake of your eyes and sanity, I chose a darker color than magenta for the actual post. Note that the events that take place here occur directly following the story in her biography, so you should probably read that (though...I'd assume as the teacher, you'd read that anyway.)

If you need a link to the character, click the black addition sign in my signature.

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Now outside, Atropos Belladonna found herself running. Behind her were several policemen, all with guns extended, shouting at her to stop. She glanced behind her, and then pushed them over with a wave of psychokinesis as she turned down a dark alley. She just couldn't seem lose them though, and they just kept coming. They were determined to catch her, by any means. One of them was shouting into his radio, calling for backup, and backup could be seen coming, in the form of flashing red and blue lights and wailing sirens.

"We can't let her get away! She's dangerous! She killed five people tonight!" one of the cops shouted, trying to motivate the rest of his squad. Atropos would have just stopped running and killed all of them by now, if it wasn't for the fact that they were carrying guns. As it was, Atropos wasn't quite sure she could stop bullets, and didn't wish to die trying. Thus she had to keep running, avoiding them and turning corners as much as possible.

"Patient 613, we command that you freeze and stop running!" a cop shouted behind her. The police hadn't had time to get her actual name from the hospital, apparently. He fired a couple warning shots into the air with his pistol. Atropos looked behind her briefly, and saw at least five police chasing after her. Making a quick decision, she ran into the busy street, avoiding cars, even some police cruisers, as best as she could. She made it across unscathed, and on the other side of the street she ran as fast as she could up to the side of a building, and then jumped up fifteen feet with a burst of psychokinesis. She threw out tentacles of black matter and latched onto the nearest window, which shattered from some invisible force.

She climbed through the open window, and pulled herself into a darkened room. Feeling all along the walls, she soon found a light switch, which she used to turn on the lights. The room she was standing in was revealed to be an empty hotel room, a relatively cheap looking one. Atropos noticed a television sitting on an entertainment center nearby, and turned it on with her mind. It was currently tuned to a news channel, which was covering her breaking news story right now.

"The fugitive is apparently a patient at the nearby psychiatric hospital, number 613 as the police have told us, and has escaped. We're not sure on the details, in fact, they haven't even told us her name yet, but apparently she's armed and dangerous, and supposedly insane," a middle-aged male reporter was saying. In the background a mental institution could be seen, along with several police cars and an ambulance, all with their lights ablaze. "What we do know is that she was hospitalized here due to killing both of her parents in a fit of insanity two years ago, and the police are also telling us that she killed five people at the hospital, although they've not yet told us how she managed to get a weapon in the first place.

"So far, we don't have any pictures to show, but the police assure us that they'll have one ready in the next twenty minutes, if they don't catch her by then. She is described as having black hair with a streak of purple, and wearing a white, uh, bloodstained jumpsuit with the number "613" written on the front. If you see this person, please call 911 immediately and do not approach her. We remind you, she is armed, dangerous, and apparently insane. We're told she will not hesitate to kill anyone who gets in her way."

Atropos turned off the television; or rather, destroyed it with a spear of black matter. She looked down and noticed that she was indeed still wearing the hospital's white jumpsuit, with conspicuous bloodstains all over it. Looking back up, she shattered the hotel room door (which would have probably opened from this side anyway) and then destroyed the door directly across the hall. The other room happened to be occupied; in fact, quite unfortunately, by someone who was watching the news. The woman screamed when she saw the person she'd just seen described on the television, and promptly locked herself in the bathroom.

Atropos quickly found and stole some simple clothes, a pair of black denim jeans and a dark purple shirt, and changed into them. Hearing a commotion outside, she assumed the police must finally be coming, and so she left through the window, softening her fall with telekinesis. Once again, she found herself running, running, running...

~ # ~ # ~

So she ran, for three whole days, finding dark hiding places to sleep at night, and stealing food when she was hungry. By now she'd also stolen some more clothing, particularly a pair of boots, a hooded black and indigo sweatshirt, and a black knit cap with a thin indigo stripe. She liked to think she had a bit of style, and she liked to incorporate her favorite colors into all her clothes.

Today was just a normal day; a cold, wet, and rainy typical winter day. She kept moving in relatively the same direction, south, trying to distance herself from the psychiatric jail she'd spent two years of her life. By now the entire state was looking for her, but she was hoping her change in clothing would throw them off her trail. Either way, she figured that it would probably be best for her to get out of state, or even out of country (although, thinking it through in retrospect, she realized that if she'd wanted to go out of country she should have gone north into Canada, but it was too late for her to backtrack now.)

Atropos was walking down the sidewalk in the rain, her hood the only covering she wore. As she listened to the sound of the rain, everything else seemed to fade away, into a gray obscurity. Even the voices in her head stopped talking. She almost felt as if reality itself might fade out and leave her in a void of gray oblivion. When she came back from her trance, she found herself standing in front of a door. It wasn't an impressive looking door, and the building it was attached to wasn't very impressive either. Something nagged at her though, and told her to open it. She looked around, then reached for the door handle and turned it. The door easily opened, having no locks to hinder it.

Beyond the doorway was just darkness, and Atropos hesitated a bit. Anything could be hiding in there. She almost turned away, but a very clear voice told her not too. Go inside. There will you find help. Perhaps it was the voice of fate herself speaking. Finally, she decided to step into the door, and fell into sheer darkness.

~ # ~ # ~

When she awoke, she was laying down in a sunny field, and her clothes were dry. She stood up and brushed the grass of her new clothes. Behind her was the door she'd just entered by, though it was now unattached to any structure and just freely standing in the grass. However, it was the sight in front of her that amazed her. In this otherwise empty plain was built a colossal dome shaped building, possibly some sort of arena or something. She felt drawn to it, and approached its large ornate door...

[Mr.Man]

Hello there! I don't know if you had noticed Shotty's post in the homeroom, but he has decided to let me teach you. I'm just a wee TA, but I'll be undertaking the job of training yourself and your character.

Having read Atropos' profile, I must say, I really have become extremely interested in her. She is a marvellous character. I'm not quite sure why, but she reminds me a lot of X-Men, which is a good thing by the way.

Now, onto your post, madam Lysis. It is well written and all round, really quite good, however, I'm the slightest bit disappointed. After having read Atropos' bio, I was hoping for something more. I'm not saying that this was by any means a weak post, but simply that I think you are capable of better. Don't let that take away from what you've written though. It really is very good, it's better than what I would expect from most new students.

I don't really feel it's necessary for me to go through it and rip it to pieces seeing as there is a nice flow and no glaring grammar problems. If you wish, I can do a considerably more in-depth analysis, just PM me about it if you'd like that.

Now, onwards! Seeing as I find Atropos interesting, I'm going to start with an IC post, something that I don't generally do.

IC:

Mesfido waited patiently in the wide halls of the Arrivals Room. His bare back rested heavily against the thick marble. His arms were flowed across his burly chest. He was tired; it had been a long day to say the least. His cobalt eyes skimmed over the face of a large, ornate clock on the opposite side of the room. It was late, as was she. The Domerii had told him that she would be arriving in the early evening, it was almost midnight.

Tardiness was something that Mesfido had never quite learned to appreciate. For her own sake, this new student had best have a good reason for keeping him waiting. He knew full well that most of the Dome’s students were unaware of its existence until they first entered it, he had been one of those students himself, but this was bordering on ridiculous. Never before had the fallen angel heard of the Domerii getting an arrival time so horribly wrong. In his current mood, he was assuming that the student had been delayed somehow. Needless to say, he was tiring of waiting.

Finally, a figure stepped through the allocated door. Mesfido let out a sigh of relief. He shifted himself from his position against the wall, and strode forward to greet her.

OoC:

Assignment Time!

Alright, for your first assignment, I want you to have Atropos enter through those ornate doors. Mesfido, as described in the above IC post, will be there waiting for her. He will approach her, and greet her, explaining who he is, and what the Dome is. How Atropos reacts is completely up to you. At the very least, keep in mind that the Dome is a safe haven. Regardless as to whether or not Atropos takes kindly to having an angel come up to her and proclaim himself her teacher, Mesfido will tell her about her private quarters in the Dome, an area that is solely her own. He will offer to take her there, she can accept or decline. Either way, I want you to have Atropos wander around the Dome, with or without the company of her teacher.

She is to visit some of the Dome’s stationary rooms, such as the Cafeteria, the Gardens, the Infirmary and the Training Grounds – you can of course invent any other areas you would like to. If Mesfido is with her, I want to see plenty of conversation, if he isn’t I want to see lots of thought.

I want you to end your post with Atropos finally finding her room, finish with her standing outside the door. If Mesfido accompanied her, he will tell her that in the morning, he will be calling in on her. If he does not, before she leaves him in the Arrivals Room, he will relay the same piece of information.

600 word minimum. Keep in mind that Mesfido isn’t in the best of moods right now. He won’t make that obvious, he will still try to be understanding and helpful, but if Atropos gives him cheek or treats him disrespectfully, he will be quick to scold her, that doesn't mean he'll lose his calm though. You will need to read up on Mesfido before you write this next piece, his profile can be found by clicking on the image in my sig. Best of luck!

[Λύσις]

Now, onto your post, madam Lysis.

lulz.


Atropos examined the elaborately ornate wooden doors to the dome, before pushing them open with her mind. Their hinges must have been well oiled, because the doors opened with much more ease than Atropos had been expecting, almost as if they were much lighter than they appeared. She looked into the room before entering, and shut the doors behind her. After she'd shut the doors, she saw somebody approaching. He was a very tall and muscular man, with expansive white and crimson feathered wings protruding from his uncovered torso.

"Greetings, new student," he said as he walked towards her. Atropos didn't respond right away, instead backing away from the angel, against the door. She prepared tentacles of black matter, having them wrap around her arms where she could use them quickly if the need arose.

"Who are you?" Atropos said questioningly. The man looked curiously at the black vines that had appeared and entangled around the girls arms, and then answered.

"My name is Mesfido. I've been assigned to be your teacher," he said.

Atropos looked at Mesfido, raising her right eyebrow. "Teacher? I don't need a teacher...I haven't had a teacher in a long time..." For a moment she seemed lost in thought, trying to remember the last teacher she'd had. Quickly, though, she snapped back to reality. "Where am I?"

"This is the Dome," the teacher said. "A sort of school where many a being come to learn the ways of battle, either intentionally or not so much; but never accidentally." He lifted his hands as he mentioned the Dome, referencing the building they stood in.

"The Dome? That name must have taken a lot of thought," Atropos remarked, sarcastically. "So, you intend to 'teach' me the 'ways of battle?'" she asked, emphasizing her words with air quotes.

"Yes, basically. Should I show you around?" Mesfido offered. "Oh, and what should I call you?" he asked.

Atropos thought for a moment, wondering if she should give her real name. Considering that the police were after her and everything, she figured that probably would not be the best of ideas, so she tried to come up with an alias.

"You can call me...Nightshade," Atropos said. "This is all somewhat odd...I'm not even sure how I got here."

"Oh, you get here various ways. It's not really important how you got here, Nightshade, but just that you're here now. Here, follow me, I'll show you to your bedroom." Mesfido turned towards the other end of the room, walking towards another door. Atropos kept her black matter prepared, and followed after him.

"My own room?" she asked. Mesfido looked back at her. "What, were you expecting me or something?"

"Somewhat," the angel said. "In fact, you're late." he didn't elaborate on this, and instead opened the door and walked into the corridor beyond.

The corridors were wide and tall, well lit with crystal chandeliers that hung from the arching ceiling. The walls were painted an off-white color, and the floor was comprised of alternating black and white marble tiles, sort of like a chess board. Atropos followed Mesfido around the corner and into a large, empty room.

The room was filled with tables, and the scent of cooked food permeated the air. "This is the cafeteria. Nobody is here right now, but this is where you come for food." He led Atropos all the way across the cafeteria, passing by dozens of tables, each with dozens of chairs around them, and exited the room through another door.

"How many people are in the Dome, anyway?" Atropos asked curiously.

"Hundreds; thousands. Something like that. You'll meet them soon enough," Mesfido said. He walked through another few hallways, finding a large metal door. He opened it and led Atropos through. It led outdoors, to an area filled with all kinds of colorful plant life.

"These are the gardens, where we keep flowers and such. It's a good place for a walk in the Sun, or a picnic." He walked along the cobblestone pathways, which led all through the bushes and trees, and even to a large fountain plaza surrounded with stone benches and marble sculptures. Eventually the path they were on led back inside the Dome, via another doorway.

"You're a rather quiet person, Nightshade. Something on your mind?" Mesfido asked, as they walked through the halls of the Dome.

"I've quite a lot on my mind right now, yes," Atropos answered.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Well, okay." He stopped in front of another door. "Well, here we are. Beyond this door is your bedroom. You'll live here for as long as you remain in the Dome. Rest here tonight. In the morning I'll be calling in on you. Goodnight, Nightshade." With that, the tall man left, disappearing around a corner.

Atropos looked at the door. It was painted black, and had intricate floral designs carved into it. She reached out and touched the crystal door handle...


Bah, I dunno, I don't like this post for some reason. Oh well, I can't be bothered to rewrite it or anything.

Also, if the color bothers you or anything, just speak up.

[Mr.Man]

Alright, it seems you're fast poster! That was fairly good, but I think you can probably do better. This next exercise requires lots of description, it should test your writing skills a little bit... I hope.

Oh and with regards to the colour of the writing, I've taken to copy + pasting all your posts into word so that I can actually read them.

Assignment Time!

I'm sure you've guessed it, you are to have Nightshade enter into her room. Your task is this - describe it. I want LOTS of interesting and creative description. Make it unique, it should represent Nightshade's personality to some extent. What is inside the room is completely up to you, some of the Dome's occupants have even found entire worlds in their rooms.

700 word minimum. End your post with Nightshade falling asleep.

[Λύσις]

Yeah, I try to be fast. Also, I'm better with description than with dialogue, methinks, so this should be a better post.

Also, I'll keep it in the easy-to-read default font color. ;D

Over 800 words:


Atropos Belladonna turned the crystalline door handle and pushed open the door to her personal bedroom. The room beyond the door was dark as night, having no lights on and no uncurtained windows. Atropos stepped into the darkness and closed the door behind her, then proceeded to feel the walls near the door for a light switch. She soon found it, and flicked it on. A single light bulb quickly lit up, shining from a recess in the very center of the ceiling, casting away the darkness and revealing the bedroom.

The first thing Atropos noticed about the room was the color of the walls and ceiling, which were conveniently painted in her favorite color of indigo, closely matching the indigo streak in her hair. The four walls had various features on them, including an abstract black and purple painting, which was on the right side of the door; the light switch, which was colored black and on the left side of the door; and a window, which was opposite the door. Interestingly enough, Atropos hadn't thought that the room was even on the side of the Dome, where a window would even be possible. She pulled aside the heavy black curtains, revealing a starlit night sky and a thin crescent moon.

After a couple seconds of looking out the window, she closed the curtains and looked back at the room, noticing now the thick black carpet that covered the floor. She removed her boots, leaving her shears inside the left one, and took off her socks so that she could feel the soft carpet under her bare feet. She then looked back up and examined the furnishings of the room, noting first the bed. The bed was a standard single-sized bed, and it was positioned parallel to the door and window, against the left wall and in the middle of the room. It was made from black painted wood, and the apparently down-filled comforter was covered in a black duvet cover. Underneath the comforter were indigo colored sheets, and under those a soft pillow top mattress. At the head of the bed, which was up against the wall, were two large pillows, one on top of the other. The one on top was an indigo pillowcase and the one underneath that was in a black pillowcase.

In fact, Atropos noticed, the entire room seemed to be colored in black and indigo, as if whomever designed the room knew those were her favorite colors. The dresser on the wall opposite the bed was black, the nightstand was black, the coat rack next to the door was black, and the even the doors, which she noticed that there were two, were black. The dresser was empty, and there was nothing but a lamp on the nightstand. Atropos looked at the second door, which was in the corner of the room, on the right side of the dresser. She opened it into another room, and took a peek inside. She couldn't see anything because the light was off, and so she searched around until she found the switch, then walked into the room.

Right away she could tell it was a bathroom, and she also could tell that it was keeping to the black and purple theme as well. Even the ceramic sink and toilet were black, except for the metal parts, which were chrome. Above the sink was a mirror, and on the far side of the room was a glass shower stall. The floor was covered in marble tiles, alternating between glossy black tiles and opaque black tiles, and affixed to the floor with black grout. After turning the light back off, she returned to her bedroom and shut the door behind her.

For the first time she noticed that there was a plant in the room, on the other side of the dresser, sitting in a large black soil-filled pot. The herbaceous plant had green leaves, purple flowers, and small black berries. It provided the only color other than indigo to the room, with its dull green leaves. Atropos recognized it after seeing its flowers as an atropa belladonna, or deadly nightshade; a highly toxic plant with poisonous leaves and berries, which also happened to be her namesake. Atropos wondered how anyone would have known that she would be coming to the Dome, let alone her name. Unless it was some kind of coincidence, but that was highly unlikely.

Atropos turned around and walked over to the many-armed wooden coat rack, on which she hung her sweatshirt and her knit cap. She looked at the analogue clock hanging above the dresser, positioned so as to be able to be seen from the bed, and it displayed the time as being half after one. Atropos realized how tired she was, and decided she would go to sleep now. Switching the light off, she climbed into the bed, and drifted off into sleep...

[Mr.Man]

IC:

Mesfido sat on the edge of his balcony, gazing over the Dome Gardens as was his costume. The cool night air breezed past him, causing his thick ponytail to sway gently. It had been an interesting day; this new student, Nightshade as she had called herself, showed promise. The fallen angel was eager to test her. He wanted to see exactly what she was capable of. An idea came to him on that calm breeze.

Two of the Seven Elements appeared at the angel's side, Sapia and Umbru, the elements of Light and Dark. Mesfido kept his eye fixed on the earth below, and addressed his loyal subjects, or rather, his close friends. "There is something I would like the two of you to help me with. I need you to pay someone a visit."

In near silence, the Master of the Seven Elements whispered his plan to the pair of elementals. They each nodded, accepting the task wordlessly. Sapia looked worried, but voiced none of what was on her mind - this was training, she knew that. It was brutal, but it was necessary. The elementals broke free of their human forms, and slide into the night as a set of glowing lights, one as bright as the sun, the other darker than night. Tonight, they would be in Nightshade's dreams.

OoC:

That was a well written post as always, this next one should be a bit more exciting for you.

Assignment Time!

As outlined in the above IC post, Sapia and Umbru will be entering Atropos' dreams. They're objective will be to test the prowess of her mental abilities. Though the events of the coming post will all take place in Nightshade's mind, the elementals' attack is completely real. Sapia and Umbru are going to work together to create the illusion that Nightshade is being attacked by an army of thousands of shadow creatures. This will in fact be a mental battle and a test of her mental strength. Sapia won't be making the mental assault with all her strength seeing as she dislikes putting people through discomfort, but Umbru on the other hand will attack full out.

900 word minimum. If Umbru's part of the attack gets out of hand, Sapia will rush to Nightshade's aid. Keep in mind that both of the elementals are very strong and make a formidable team, however, they do not get on all that well. End your post with Nightshade waking up, having either won the mental battle against the elementals or having had Sapia save her from Umbru's assault. Either way, neither of the elementals will directly speak with or reveal themselves to Atropos.

If you would like more info on either Sapia, or Umbru, PM me.

[Λύσις]

As Atropos drifted off into the darkness of sleep, she fell into a dream. At first the dream made little sense, consisting of flashing colors and swiftly moving shadows. Her dreams reflected her disorganized mind, changing constantly and shifting from one thing to another. One moment she felt herself being trapped in a dark cage, and the next she was free-falling off a building. While her chaotic mind threw her from one dream to the next, she felt a strange feeling overcome her, and then the dream faded into blackness, her mind no longer controlling it.

She found herself standing in a dark and empty plane. Even though there did not appear to be any light source, she could still see, somewhat. Everything beyond a few yards faded into a thick black fog, and she couldn't see through that at all. There wasn't anything here, and Atropos was beginning to wonder why her dream had led her here and left her alone. However, it wasn't long before she began to see movement in the shadowy clouds.

Hundreds of objects began to walk out of the clouds. They took on various forms, some of them humanoid, others more arachnid in shape, but all of them were completely made from shadow and had no features to speak of. Atropos sensed a feeling of malevolence from the shadow creatures, and telekinetically brought her shears from her boot into her hand, holding them at the ready should she be attacked.

Indeed, they did begin to attack. Atropos threw aside the first few attackers with a blast of telekinesis, and then started stabbing at the next few creatures. The ones that were stabbed dissipated and vanished, but the ones thrown aside simply stood up again. The creatures began to beat at Atropos with their limbs, none of them carrying any weapons. She again blasted them all aside, and started spraying the nearest ones with a volatile burst of white matter from her palms. The caustic alkaline caused several of the creatures to disappear, but more just kept coming.

Atropos shouted as she summoned a particularly powerful explosion of telekinesis, sending all the creatures back several feet and onto their backs. She began to prepare tentacles and ropes of black matter, which extended out of her back and from her arms. She started whipping the ropes around, destroying some of the smaller creatures, and pushing back the rest.

Some of the creatures began to sneak up behind her, but she grabbed them with the black tentacles, and started smashing them against the other shadows. Even though she was sure this was all a dream, the attacks seemed to physically hurt, and her own actions began to physically wear her out. She transmuted all the black matter into nets of sticky wires, sort of like a spider's web, and threw out the nets to hold back the creatures. Those not entangled in the nets she drew forward with telekinesis and stabbed in the face with her shears.

The shears, she noticed, were draining the shadow creatures' energy and restoring some of her own energy when she used them, as they would in real life. Stabbing several more creatures, and decapitating many of them as well, she restored a good amount of energy. Some of the creatures were beginning to get themselves free of the sticky webs, and Atropos covered them in a layer of white matter, killing a large number of them all at once.

Although the creatures seemed innumerable, Atropos kept fighting them off. She had a relatively good strategy of using bursts of telekinesis to push them away whenever they got too close. However, it seemed that they weren't the mindless creatures they appeared to be, and started to work around her strategy. They began to all rush at once, giving her little chance to push them all away, surrounding her in a sea of shadows, beating at her continuously. When she tried to push them away, they didn't go far before the ones behind them pushed them forward again.

Feeling surrounded and helpless, Atropos thought of a solution. She focused her psychokinesis on herself and on the ground, and with a great leap she flew over the crowd, nearly five yards away. She noticed that some of the creature's attacks had caused her to bleed, but her dark purple blood was already beginning to heal the wounds. She quickly started to cover herself in black matter, hardening it and forming flexible joints, building a sort of crude suit of armor. Using some more black matter she fabricated two long and sharp, yet light, swords.

Her eyes glinted red as she dashed into the crowd of shadow creatures with a shout, slicing through them like paper. The shadows began to beat against her armor, doing little damage to it. Atropos continued to slash and stab the mysterious black beings, finally beginning to noticeably deplete their numbers. They weren't done with their tricks though, apparently.

The last few hundreds of creatures all began to deform and mutate. Atopos was confused as to what they were doing, but realized it soon enough. The shadows all grouped together, and solidified into a single massive entity. The entity seemed somewhat primate-like in appearance, and had four limbs and a head. The creature slammed its arm against Atropos, shattering her armor in a single blow and sending her flying. Another blow would probably deal serious damage, and Atropos quickly rolled out of the way of the next crashing arm.

Apparently sympathizing with the girl, five tall white humanoid creatures formed from the shadowy mists, and began to throw spears of light at the dark monster, distracting it. Atropos took the opportunity to dive behind the monster. It turned around to find her, but took more attacks from the white creatures. It quickly retaliated against them, stomping on two of them. Atropos gripped her shears, and leaped up onto the monster's back. It reached with its arms, trying to grab her, but she stabbed at its hands when they came near.

Trying to crush her, it fell onto its back, but Atropos quickly vaulted over the beast's shoulder before it landed and stabbed the creature in the forehead. Right afterward, the remaining three white creatures flew over and stabbed the creature in the head with their spears. The beast roared, and then dissipated into the dark clouds, along with the three benevolent spirits.

^ # ^ # ^

Atropos flew into a sitting position, finding herself back in her dark bedroom. She reached for the lamp on the bedside table next to her and turned it on, lighting up the room. She looked around, breathing heavily.

"I guess...it was all a dream?" she said to herself.

[Mr.Man]

Good job. T'was a nice post overall. I'd write an IC post, but I'm tired. You deserve a new assignment though, seeing as you've been working hard.

Assignment Time!

A knock sounds at the door. When Atropos opens it, she will find a Domerii, one of the Dome's messagers. The Domerii will tell her that Mesfido is waiting for her in the Training Grounds and that she is to leave immediately and make her way there.

When Nightshade arrives at the Training Grounds, she will find Mesfido, as the Domerii said, waiting for her. There will be a set of manicans sitting at his feet. These are Training Dolls. Mesfido wants to test Nightshade's physical capabilities with them. Her task is this, battle the Training Dolls. It may sound simple, but she must do it blindfolded, and keep in mind, the Training Dolls are by no means weak. They are more than capable of knocking around an average fighter.

1,000 words minimum.

[Λύσις]

Atropos heard a knock at her door, and looked up at the clock on the wall. It told her that it was six o'clock. Atropos quickly jumped out of the bed, pulling the blankets back up with her mind. She opened the door, and saw an unusual creature on the other side. It was only about two feet tall, and hovered in midair. It wore a shiny white robe, which covered its feet and arms, and it had a pair of white wings folded behind its back. It's skin was light, and its long hair was golden blonde.

"Who...what...are you?" Atropos asked.

"I'm a Domerii; a messenger of the Dome. Your teacher, Mesfido, sent me here to retrieve you," the messenger said in a cheerful and melodic voice.

"Oh. Okay." Atropos kept looking at the Domerii, waiting for further instruction.

"When you are ready, come follow me," the Domerii said. Atropos went back into her room, and put on her sweatshirt and cap. She drew her shoes to her from the other side of the room with psychokinesis, and then pulled them onto her feet. All ready now, she went out into the hallway and closed the door. "Ready? Follow me." The Domerii opened its wings and started floating down the corridor.

Atropos followed it as it drifted through the Dome, passing several doors and turning several corners. Finally, the Domerii stopped in front of a somewhat large door. "The Training Grounds are in here. Mesfido is waiting for you." With that, the messenger slowly faded out and vanished. Atropos hesitated for a moment, and then, without touching it, opened the door. After she'd walked in, she shut the doors behind her.

Inside the Training Grounds, the tall Mesfido stood over five mannequins, his wings outstretched behind him and his arms crossed over his bare chest. "Ah, good, you're here. I've been waiting," the angel said.

"Yeah, okay. What am I supposed to do here?" Atropos asked.

"See these mannequins?" he motioned his hand toward the mannequins at his feet. "They're Training Dolls. I want you to battle them. They're no ordinary mannequins, obviously..." He stepped back a bit, and the five dolls pushed themselves up off the floor, and began standing in a battle stance.

"Okay, sure...I can do that." Atropos pulled out her shears from her boot, using telekinesis.

"Wait, not yet." Mesfido walked over to Atropos with a black cloth, and tied it around her eyes. "You have to fight them blindfolded."

"What!? How am I supposed to know where they are though?" Atropos asked, completely blind.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough." Mesfido chuckled. "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess." Atropos said, brandishing the scissors again.

"Go!" Mesfido said, stepping back out of the way. Atropos started jabbing randomly with her scissors, hoping to make contact. Then the dolls started beating on her, and threw her to the ground. She threw out a burst of telekinesis, knocking back the mannequins, and got back to her feet. Searching with her mind, she was able to grab one of them with psychokinesis. She pulled it forward and stabbed it in the shoulder with the shears. It stumbled back, but then leaped again at Atropos.

She wrapped it up in ropes of black matter, tossing it aside. Attacked by another training doll, she sprayed it with liquid white matter. She could hear the hiss of the mannequins outer material being eaten away, and she kicked it firmly in the chest. She then formed two long ropes of black matter, and on the end of either rope she put a hardened and sharp shard. She flung the ropes around in a circle, making contact several times, but doing little damage.

The mannequins again started to beat at her, and threw her once more to the ground. They then began to stomp on her, and she rolled out of the way. She jumped up with a burst of telekinesis, forming a long sharp spear while she was in the air. Feeling around with her telekinesis, she was able to locate one of the dolls. She stabbed at it with the spear, but it dodged and grabbed the weapon. Atropos quickly turned the spear back into liquid before the mannequin could pull it out of her hands. The black liquid dropped to the ground and formed a sword, then flew up to Atropos' hand.

When she thought the dolls were close enough, she slashed at them with the sword, knocking one of them over. Two of the others grabbed her and started pushing her back and forth between them. She stabbed one of them with her sword, knocking it over. The other one she pushed back with telekinesis. Another mannequin grabbed her, and she covered it in liquid black matter; hardening it as stone to keep the doll fixed in place.

The other four Training Dolls surrounded her, and started knocking her about. Had her eyes not been blindfolded, they could have seen Atropos' irises change color from indigo to deep red. The next mannequin that touched her, Atropos quickly turned about on and shouted at, flying into it with telekinesis. She grabbed her scissors and started to jab them into the mannequin several times. A doll grabbed her from behind and threw her off the other mannequin. She reached out with black tentacles, finding it and wrapping it up completely. She smashed it into the ground several times, and then threw it high up into the air, turning the tentacles into a hard shell to prevent it from moving.

One of the dolls jumped onto her back, dragging her to the ground. It grabbed the shears in her hands, but she stabbed it in the face with a long spike of black matter. It recoiled when it was struck, and Atropos stabbed a few more spears into it. However, the battle was beginning to wear her out. Black Matter took energy to produce. She was breathing heavily now, trying to ignore her many bruises. She wasn't sure what exactly it took to stop these things.

I bet they can't fight back without heads... she heard a voice in her mind say. She gathered some of her spent black matter, which was, at this point, all over the place; and formed a long, razor sharp blade with it. A mannequin bashed her in the face with its fist, knocking her to the ground. She pulled it forward with telekinesis and aimed for its neck with the blade. She felt the doll go slack as its head fell to the ground and rolled away, and she pushed away the useless body.

She suddenly dodged under a swiftly moving fist as she realized that she could detect the mannequin that had black matter stuck in its face. The mannequin stumbled forward as its attack missed, and Atropos tackled it from behind. She quickly removed its head as well. Before she could get up, she was knocked over by another doll, who grabbed Atropos' sharp blade and wrenched it from her hands. She liquefied the blade and splattered it all over the doll.

Now she knew exactly where it was. She dodged backwards as it tried to attack her, and then she jumped onto its back, trying to bring it to the ground. It was able to remain standing though, and tried to shake her off. She held onto its head, twisting it around, and pulled out her shears again. She took the scissors to the mannequins neck, and tore its head off.

Now to deal with the last two... The last two were disabled already, covered in hard black shells. She turned the black matter into a flurry of sharp shards, slicing the mannequins into several pieces with them. Then she tore off her blindfold and threw it to the ground, returned the scissors to her boot, and crossed her arms in a victory pose; her foot resting on one of the mannequin heads.

She then looked around her. The scene was disastrous. The torn apart bodies of the Training Dolls littered the ground, all with their heads removed. Contributing even more to the mess was all the Black Matter. She saw Mesfido, clapping.

"Good job, Nightshade."

[Mr.Man]

Alright, overall it was good. However, I want you to start paying more attention to how you write your descriptions. At times they can be a tad bland. Try make them more sensuous, include smells, feelings (the physical type), sounds, etc. Also, sometimes you're writing seems to hop from place to place very quickly. You have to know when to have a quick sequence and when to have a slower sequence. For example, you could have made this bit more interesting;

Atropos followed it as it drifted through the Dome, passing several doors and turning several corners. Finally, the Domerii stopped in front of a somewhat large door.

It's understandable that you want to avoid boring the reader, but some more description here would have gone a long way, to me, it seems like you were rushing towards the action.

OoC:

"A very good job indeed," Mesfido's smile broadened. He could see this Nightshade girl had potential, lots of it. "Though, next time, let's try to avoid making such a mess."

The fallen angel walked purposefully towards Nightshade, his burly arms crossed against his chest as was his custom. His cobalt eyes stay fixed on his student as he circled her. Finally, after having paced an entire three hundred and sixty degrees, he came to a halt. His arms unfolded, his left hand shone brightly. A surge of light energy burst forth from him and collided with Nightshade. A high pitched chime ran through the training grounds as the energy met flesh, accompanied by a strange sweet, fresh smell. The energy disappiated quickly, but not before running along the young woman's form and healing her wounds.

"There you are." Mesfido smiled again, but it did not last long, a serious look quickly replaced it. "Now that I have a better idea of what you are capable of, it is time to begin your true training."

OoC:

Assignment Time!

Time for a sidequest! Mesfido will go on to explain that as the first step of Nightshade's training, he wants her to journey into an area of the Dome known as No Man's Land. He does not give her any instructions as to finding it, that is part of her training, she must find it herself. All he tells her is that once there, she must find a plant known as the Viper's Bite. When she finds it, she must return to him.

No Man's Land is a place of horros. Everything Atropos finds there will attack her, she will not have a moment rest while she remains. This will indeed be a test of her determination, willpower and endurance.

2,000 word minimum.

BiC: