[Shade] Gawl's Training

OOC: Here's a retake of my Intro.
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BIC:
Gawl sat down wearily and watched as his father attacked a nearby tree with his claws. His father had been teaching him to defend himself with his staff and attack with magic at the same time. "Come on son! Don't tell me you're tired already?"

"Ha! Of course not! I'm just catching my breath!" Gawl panted, getting to his feet. The truth was, he was exhasted. He just didn't want to let his dad down. "All right Dad! I'm ready, so lets go!"

Hasumure jumped at his son and attacked with an extreme amount of ferosity...Gawl had learned not too long ago that his dad wasn't going to soften his attacks, just like a real opponent wouldn't. Gawl parried his dad's attack but soon gave way as his strength left him.

Gawl's eyes suddenly turned blood red and Wind whipped around him. "Son!" Hasumure called out to Gawl...his voice sounding faint, as if heard from far away. Then as all of his energy left him, Gawl fainted and fell to the ground.

Gawl woke up in this strange forest, as he stood up he heard this strange haunting music drifting through the forest. He leaned against a nearby boulder and let the music wash over him. He then started walking toward the source of the sound, taking pathway after pathway. Others may have felt lost and confused by the similarity but Gawl was sure that the music would lead him out.

After an hour of wandering he collapsed from hunger. He struggled to get to his feet but failed. As he started to feel himself slipping into unconciousness he felt a pair of strong arms catch him. He looked up and saw a strange man holding him up. "W-who...are..."

"Save your breath child. You need every last one." The mysterious man whispered and lifted Gawl up onto his shoulders.

When Gawl reawakened he saw the same strange man. He sat up, but soon fell back down. "C-could, I have some...food?" The man nodded and disappeared, only to reappear moments with a plate full of food. "T-thank...you."

"You're welcome." The man said, a slight grin hinting at the corners of his mouth. The man sat down on a stool next to Gawl and introduced himself, "My name is Zolf Kadreen...and this, is The Dome."

"T-the, Dome?"
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OOC: So sensei. Have I improved?

Yes, very much. You've definitely grown from your past style. This isn't awkward to read, like the previous version. Nice job. ^^ Prepare yourself for the next lesson.

BIC:
"T-the Dome?" Gawl asked.

"Yes...The Dome." Zolf replied, "Now...are you going to keep repeating that or do you want to get well?"

Gawl laughed again and tried to get up. "I'd love to but I can't get up..." Zolf sighed and shook his head. He then picked Gawl up and proceeded to take Gawl out and to his room.

"Don't expect this type of treatment all the time. This is the last time I'm going to help you in a long time." Zolf grunted and let loose a harsh laugh. Gawl nodded weakly and laid his head down on Zolf's shoulder. He watched the many rooms go by, almost...dreamily...a gym, a fountain, a pure white room.

Then suddenly Zolf stumbled and Gawl felt a rumbling and then everything around him changed in quick succesion. "Wh-what's going on?!" Gawl yelled. "Don't worry..." Zolf replied calmly, "The Dome is just making it's customary changes. It happens all the time. You'll get used to it soon enough." Zolf laughed again. Gawl thought to himself, I don't think I'll ever get used to that...definatly not. "Don't worry..." Zolf said, as if he had read Gawl's mind, "You will." Gawl then looked at Zolf with a disbelieving expression. "You will!" Zolf stated. Gawl resigned him self to sleep once again.

Gawl woke up half an hour later and found himself in a strange room. He looked about weakly and saw black wallpaper, black carpet, and furniture painted pitch black. On the celing there was painted soft clouds and midnight blue. His room looked like a forest at the quietest time of all...midnight. He sat up in the bed and got a better look at his surrondings. He saw a simple dresser and a plain white mirror.

Gawl stood up shakily, tested his legs, and walked to the mirror. His face looked sunken and gaunt. He looked at his hair and clothes. His hair had been distincly ruffled and now looked unkempt.
and he thought to himself. Man...I need some food...and bad...

OOC: Master...don't grade me yet...I'm working on it!!!

Hey, Gawl, how long has it been since you told me not to grade your assignment? Far too long. Finish it, pronto. If not, there will be consequences. Gawl, I find you a promising student, just like gibdo and Fiercy, but I want to see work. Get on it, man.