Mutual Vendetta (Future)

Chapter 1: A rose by any other name - except mine
I was in a restaurant enjoying an Indian salmon-dish, or at least the thought of it. When it finally arrived, I figured the $20 pricetag must have been for the feeling of excitement while waiting for its arrival, since the product itself seemed to have less fins than the waiter serving it! However, my evening was not all ruined, as I got a call from someone who was more fishy than this dish had ever been, and he wanted to talk to me. We scheduled a meeting at my office, where I was waiting 20 minutes later when he knocked on my door.

Future: Peefy Danger, I assume?
Peefy: The feeling is mutual, and you are Jaap Future?
Future: Yes, and no clever jokes.
Peefy: I imagine those would go over your head.
Future: What?
Peefy: Nevermind, now, what did you want to talk about?

I looked up, perhaps Peefy had hidden his humour in the ceiling. It was a white-ish beige, cracked paint causing patterns going from each corner. Surely the damage was caused by the putrid smell that hung around in this room.

"Peefy Danger", that's a rather deceiving name tag he's wearing, I wonder if he tells people it's pronounced "Dang Her".

Future: Fancy place you've got here Dang-her, styled it yourself?
Peefy: My boss did, never knew secretaries got offices in the first place.
Future: Compliments on the coffee-splatter wallpaper print.
Peefy: If only..
Future: Look, small talk aside, I have news about your sister.
Peefy: Oh boy, spit it out.

Not entirely sure why, but I spat on Peefy's desk. Skillfully dodging his water cup.

Future: I'vTaKeN 'Er 'Ostage
Peefy: Why the accent?
Future: Precaution.

Faster than three horses I threw an envelope on the desk in front of him, straight into the water cup.

After having made a fool of himself in my office and a flood of himself on my desk, he finally left me - and he left me a rotten smell in the air aswell. I knew nothing about this man, but I assumed he was European, because I've heard about the likes of him there. In the state of Denmark!

I looked at my desk, but imideatly regretted that I did. His verbal puking had left his liquids all over my desk, and I felt I had to pick up his letter as 4 letters in cup is one too much. The letter was soaking, and after reading it I realized that this letter was dictated, and the writer was wet too - behind his ears!:

Dear Tohom Itmey Konsern
Find out his name and fill it in!
Now, say that he must meet us at the Dark Sophia Hotel.
No. Don't write that, he must not know where we are.
Cross it out and write that he should meet us at the Eatalien Café Donde Rowd. I must remember to send someone there. Perhaps you, Jaap? Yes, you. Are you dictating? Good.
Now, say that we have his sister, and that she will come of no harm if he does as we say. Now say that he has to meet us at that Café. Yes. Indeed.
At noon tomorrow! And don't sign it this time!
Jaap

I put the letter in my filing cabinet under R - for recycling! Noon tomorrow was a day away, but I had no time to loose, so I made my way for the Dark Sophia Hotel, expecting the worst.

Chapter 2: The Sticky Situation.

- Four hours before the meeting -

Home, more often than not it's where your heart feels most out of place. That alone could kill a man if he wasn't prepared. Preparation is what I worked on for the last three weeks, nothing could go wrong. Perhaps I was in too deep, the pressure felt suffocating. Gasping for air I got out of my bath, figured I should take swimming lessons sooner or later. Preferably sooner, with Peefy's money I could travel so far around the world, I'd end up in my own bath again.

I started doing my tie, shamelessly, but was quickly interrupted by a ringing noise inside my head. The Ringing Noise had been bugging me for several weeks, doctors couldn't cure me and neither did their medication. The phone called to me, I was compelled to answer. Out of habit I hit the speaker button, you never knew who was listening in on your conversations.

Female #1: It's hard getting a hold of you.
Future: Coconut Oil makes my skin feel smooth.
Female #1: Is it done? Have you got the money?
Future: Working on it, I left him a rather misleading note, it'll confuse him more than it did me.
Future: Hello? Monica? Veronica? Harmonica?

I hung the phone up on the ceiling, her cat must have cut her tongue. I was as nervous as her cat in a room full of rocking chairs. The weather outside started to pour rats and dogs. Things started to feel like a zoo, chaotic, out of control.

It was time. Found my coat and grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds flat.


- One hour before the meeting -

Almost there. Insanity Boulevard, Dark Sophia Hotel on the right and the Italian Restaurant further down the street. I'd gotten here early. Figuring Peefy would take either of the two places listed, I decided to stay in the streets. A thick coat of people and smog would provide excellent cover. To my surprise Peefy had gotten there even earlier, he looked rather slick, surely a trick to throw me off.

He turned around and looked me in the eyes. I dropped myself to the floor quicker than a dead gorilla could say bananas. Luckily there was a car blocking the view. Had he seen me? Did he recognize me? After all I was Incognito, the 1937 Danish film directed by Valdemar Lauritzen. It had only been twenty years but I didn't age a day.

Even though I supported my hand in an evidently fresh piece of gum, this wasn't the Sticky Situation I had hoped for.


Future: NOBODY MOVE!

I froze.

Not knowing how my foes looked like, I decided to stay outside the hotel, looking for anyone suspicious. I studied the faces walking in and out of the hotel, to me they all looked guilty. Two-bit punks and small-time gangsters splitting their loot and sometimes eachother. Aging, married politicans arriving at night in taxis with fancy whores. I regretted not being a postman, as I could have earned a fortune delivering blackmails. At the same time, I knew this was no time for me to go postal, so I stuck to where I belonged - my post.

The clock was ticking, but time was taking me nowhere. The only reason I had not fallen asleep standing was balance - that of my bank account. Though my boss gladly signs my expense reports, this was not a true case, and the thought of paying out of my pockets left me scared that I would end off not even having pants.

To my pleasent surpise, my boredom was interupted by something potentially less boring, "Nobody move!". I decided that for the occasion, I was nobody, so I moved. In one motion, I pulled my gun, turned round and sat down on my knees with the gun towards whatever was behind me, a car. Standing still. Without a driver. Realizing that this might not be a duel, though the odds were in my favour, I pulled my gun back, and went to find the source of the two words who had so rudely interupted my nothing and made me take on the role of nobody for no apperant reason at all.

I walked slowly towards the car, my hand firmly around my pistol. "Do you wanna talk or were those your last words?" I tried, hoping that there were some sense left in this situation. "If it's words you want you can have 'em for free, keep your bullets." Jaap Future stood up behind the car and met my stare. "Oh, I got enough of bullets, but I won't force 'em on you without an invitation." So we talked.

That one stare could have instantly killed anyone caught in sight of it, thankfully it didn't. Dang-her held his gun with a firm grip as if his life depended on it, though more logically mine. Most people around us turned a blind-eye, they're used to it here. Insanity Boulevard is known for all it's low-life scum. Even I felt it, a strange sense of familiarity ran across my spine.

As long as he had the gun I was out of control, but by the looks of his eyes, so was he. I had to do something, if only I could get half a second, perhaps a subtle distraction. Looking at my watch I noticed half seconds passed quicker than time could count.

Future: Is that a 5.5 Beretta Stampede?
Peefy: 3.5 actually, my gun is rather small.
Future: Can't all be winners, mind if I take a look?
Peefy: Sure.

He willingly handed over his fire-arm which subsequently fired him as the person in charge, not that he ever was. As I cocked the gun I realized I was pulling the smallest straw. Quite literally I was now the man with the tiny gun.

Peefy: Where is my sister? What have you done to her?!
Future: She's at the r- nearly had me there, clever, asking direct questions. As if I wouldn't expect those.
Peefy: What do you want from me?

Memories of the past lingered behind me, stalking me. I thought of all the things I wanted but couldn't have. Cashew Nuts, thanks to my allergy they'd blow my face up quicker than Peefy's revolver could. Peefy's Tie, it contained a confusing cartoon of Elmo dressed up as a farmer. Next to Elmo stood a cow, the cow said "Elmoo". I didn't get it, all it did was add another mystery into my life, it fascinated me. Compelled to solve the riddle, I wondered if this was the proof that cows can speak. Either way, I wanted that tie but couldn't take it. No matter the foul lies Peefy had spread about me, I was no thief! Unless stealing his sister's heart is a crime, in which case he's dead on. Soon a dead one.

Twenty years ago during the shooting of the movie Incognito, I lost my wife. One moment I saw her, the next she was gone from my life forever. I looked for days, weeks. I grew older, lost my job, the house, my mind. You come to realize money isn't worth a dime when you spend it all on private investigators and bubblegum. Only one of those was helpful, got rid of that addiction quicker than a cold turkey. I started my own case, chasing shadows. Lately all the evidence started to add up like a puzzle, it was overwhelming. When you forcefully stick the pieces together whether they fit or not, there's a brief moment of relief. Peefy was behind it, and the time was now to pay him back by making him pay me back.

Peefy: HEY, you think this is some kind of joke pal? What do you want?
Future: My life back. ..and 84,000 clams. The money kind, not the sea kind.

Right then I knew I said something I shouldn't have, did I blow my cover? Memory lane was right around the corner of Insanity Boulevard, I couldn't help but notice a twinkle of recognition within the eyes of my enemy. The time had come for my great escape, but seeing I neither had shovels nor a motorcycle I had to improvise. At least I had his gun, time for a puppet show.

Future: Get in the car.

Future: Not that car.

Future: No, that's a phone booth.

As Peefy finally made it into the right car, I ran for it.

There had been a confusion concerning the car situation, and when I finally believed to have found the right car, he had left me. I did not see which car he drove off with, but it must have been like little Timmy in the cookie-investigation committee - suspiciously silent.

I was alone, but I wasn't missing his company. He hadn't left me much, besides a nagging empty spot where my sister used to be (albeit it was less nagging now than when it was full) and reduced her to a wasted line in my phonebook. But he had left me a clue.

The letter 'r', a clue to her location. Now an r can mean anything. My gut said Restaurant, but I attributed that to not having eaten since the day before. Rodeo? Ranch? Racetrack? It was a vague clue, but it was something to go on.

But there was something else too. The price. He wanted more dough than I've owned in my life, and his own life on top of that. There was something about the way he said this that triggered an ancient memory, but it was all just a blur. All I knew for sure was that our paths must have crossed before all this and that to him - this was personal.

As I sat in the back of this car, I tried to picture this Jaap character in my mind, tried to connect it with this ancient memory. If I am a private eye, then he is a private nose - with a face attached to it, and a tall body below just barely reaching the ground. His black, grasy hair would leave any cogwheel spin in jealousy - and his flat voice would make any machine swoon. He had one good feature - he didn't ring any bells.

I left the car and headed for the Italian place. As far as I was concerned the meeting was still on, and I needed something to chew on - because the case was going stale.

And god damn, he had my gun.

A labyrinth of dark streets spread before me as I ran away from the car Peefy carried. Losing myself around every corner I slowly realized my home was two cities away. The bus brought me here the first time, but how would I get back? Another bus, sure, but those cost money. My pockets were emptier than a jar without cookies. Something felt missing.

Logic told me I could convince the bus driver to take me home by showing him my gun. Logic was such a liar. I was an illogical man and I made illogical choices, so I headed back to the restaurant. Perhaps my rival could fund my return.

Upon entering the restaurant, a rather slick looking waiter asked me if he could take my coat. I told him to get a job instead. He escorted me to the table Dang-her was sitting at. "classic table", the words slipped out of my mouth seconds before concluding arguments with furniture are rarely productive.

Peefy: Ah, if it isn't Jaap Future, right on time.
Future: That's okay, no need to get up.
Peefy: What?

I sat down.

The waiter wouldn't leave our side, which was quite discomforting. It was as if a shadow had overtaken the mood set on this table. He blocked out all the light. He had the nose the size of a boat and the ears the size of a sail. A shipwreck like none other. Never did I know a man could sweat as furiously as he did, had I not known better I'd have thought his head was adrift.

Waiter: Can I get you anything to drink, sir?
Future: I'll have whatever he's having.
Waiter: One Tiramisu coming right up.

Time wasn't on my side, the waiter had an amazing quick-step for a guy with such wind catchers. Whatever words needed to be shared with Peefy had to come now.

Future: Okay, h-
Waiter: Here’s your Tiramisu sir.

As I drank my Tiramisu cake I caught Peefy giving me a rather odd stare.

Future: I'm a solid drinker.
Peefy: You’ve got the looks.
Future: No need to try and butter me up
Waiter: Extra butter for table 4!
Future: ..Right, look, I came back for one more thing.

I paused, it’d leave him with a greater feeling of suspense, yet he didn’t seem to crack. Cool as a cucumber all the way through.

Waiter: Cucumber salad?
Future: W- What. Get out of my head or I'll make minced meat out of you!
Waiter: Here you are sir, our minced-meat meatball day special.

This was no ordinary waiter, it even had Dang-her impressed. I could tell by the way his jaw dropped onto his lap, must have been a freak accident. Each time the waiter showed up we had to sit back; the risk of losing our eyes by his nose was too big. As big as his nose.

Peefy: So, what have you got to tell me?
Future: You haven’t got a clue?
Peefy: One actually, the “R” you “accidentally” dropped when you lured me into that car. I’m looking through you.
Future: Not sure about your R, but here’s something that’ll puzzle your mind; a puzzle.

Knowing he’d never figure this one out, I passed him a note saying I’ll get _evenge fo_ my b_ide”. On the backside it said “Call me; 555-FUTU_E”, maybe that R will come in handy.

Future: One more thing, I can’t afford the bus.
Peefy: I’m not the least bit surprised.
Future: Remember who has your sister and gun Dang-her, neither will return if you don’t give me all your money.
Peefy: Look at you, the big cheese.

Faster than a horde of gazelles fleeing for their lives we hid under the table, we shared a mutual understanding of what was to come. A face that’d boost the self esteem of a giant troll. Suddenly all light vanished. We could hear a voice so shrill and cold it’d freeze water and crack it at an instant.

Waiter: Large platter of BRIE?

After those words echoed out, I could hear nothing but the sound of nobody talking. Time went by as light returned, we got up from under the desk. Growing tired of this sleek figure, I knew changes had to be made. There had to be a way to best him, this was an Italian restaurant after all. I cooked up a plan more tasteful than any chef could stir;

"Tutti Fruti Molto Tortellini, BASIL!" Unsurprisingly Basil the Waiter never answered. It all made too much sense, he was no waiter. He knew the ropes better than me. Was he sleeping with the fishes? Time to make my move, this deviant had to be stopped.

Future: Say goodbye to your precious face, tough guy!
Peefy: What? You’re nuts!
Basil: Nuts sir?

Out of no where the waiter returned. Jumping up from my seat I gave him a right hook deadlier than most fishermen bare. The blow threw him off his feet, clearing three tables. He bounced off the wall and landed straight in the soup of an underage customer who spoke in awe; “Waiter, there’s a mustache in my soup and it has your face on it!” He was in for some serious trouble. Swiftly I followed him, jumping over the first two tables and crashing into the third. Disregarding the egg on my face I pulled him up by the nose and pushed him against the wall. Was that tomato soup or blood pouring from his snout? Thinking there’d only be one way to find out I licked the lower half of his face, concluding this was neither blood nor tomato soup. No matter what it was, it tasted creamy and sweet with a convincing hint of fear.

Future: State your business or taste lead!
Basil: Pfwease! I’ave a wife and keds!

Ah, so a broken nose after all, it did look a lot straighter. Although something that large can never be fully beaten to a pulp, trust me.

Future: Yeah, well so did I!
Peefy: You had kids?
Future: Stay out of it wise guy, I told you to come alone! Who is this associate?!
Peefy: No idea, never seen ‘em before. I work alone.
Basil: Don’t shooff me!
Future: Dang-her I’ll do it, this associate of yours will die!
Peefy: That’s not an associate, just an unfortunate bystander.
Future: Unfortunate? Nobody is innocent here Dang-her, this is now a dual hostage situation. Prepare to pay the price! My bus ticket out of here!
Peefy: Not again..
Future: Fill my demands, an advance on the $84,000 dept you’ve got standing. Buses don’t fare for free.
Peefy: All I’ve got is a twenty on me, will that do?
Future: Drop the twenty on the floor and kick it over.

Peefy started giving me 20 push ups on the floor, then kicked himself in the shins. Clearly he hadn’t understood me, but it made for an interesting character portrayal.

Future: The note?

As if a light bulb had spontaneously appeared above his head, recognition was all his face read. When kicking the bill didn’t seem to work, he started to blow it forward. The note barely moved, at this rate I was earning a buck a minute. Not many hunters can say the same.

Peefy: The bus only costs around a quarter, have you not got any change?
Future: I'll change your dental records if you don't watch out.
Peefy: You just keep taking don’t you? First my sister, then my gun, and now my twenty! Any more and you’ll rip the jolly mood right out of my day!
Future: Look at it this way; only 83,981 singles left.
Peefy: You mean 83,980.
Future: Plus my life.
Peefy: Clever.
Future: You have one week, after that I’ll send your sister back for free. In pieces. Phone me when you have the cash.


Stood up, put my coat on in one solid swing. As I walked out of the restaurant I tipped Basil the Associate with half of my hard earned cash, "Great show". Dang-her was wrong, he was an associate, just not his. Perhaps he had forgotten, but it was me who picked the restaurant to begin with.

Chapter 3: Stepping Back, Going Forward
The day was stretching on forever. I sat twisting the note around my finger, waiting for the answer to hit me. Meanwhile, throwing Martinis into my face would do. I was unsure if the was the lack of sleep or the hunger, or if the situation had been as surreal as it had seemed. I read the note again, trying to let my mind wander - my legs were too tired.

To him, this was personal. To me, this was nonsense. His bride? I've had my share of ladies in my time, and probably a whole lot of other's shares as well, but a poppie willing to marry this tramp hardly seemed like my type. Whatever happened with her, he blames it on me.

I decided that I had to stop by my friends at the station to look into Future's file, though I was no state to visit the badges at this time. I wasn't even sure what state I was in, nor country. I stumbled out the door multiple times, and jumped in a bus. The morning after it reached my destination, sobriety. I jumped out of the bus and headed for my friends at the station, I went into a store nearby to make sure I had the right currency to bargain with.

Copper Carl: Hey-o, see what the cat dragged in!
Peefy: I need information, I need it quick.
Copper Carl: Cheer up lil' bugger! Turn that frown upside down, then you'll be my favorite man in town!
Peefy: -
Copper Carl: How can I help you?
Peefy: I need to look up a file. I've managed to end on the wrong side of a double-edged sword and I'd like to be the one pushing it.
Copper Carl: Sounds like someone ought to file a reporty-dorty!
Peefy: I'm handling this for the time being.

Knowing that we would we beating around the bush until we hit each other, I decided to hand him my bargain - four doughnuts sweeter than a daughter and fatter than a mother . His reaction was predictable but agreeable. Pleasing a cop gives you a warm feeling - safety. I nodded, and headed for the archives.

I found Jaap's file, and browsed through it.

Jan-31-48 02:26PM From-U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE. CIVIL DIVISION 3034540459 T927 [P. 001/003] F-067

IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
FOR THE DISTRICT COURT OF NEW YORK

Civil Action No. 02-N-740 (FTR)


---------------------------------------------------------
OFFICIAL POLICE RECORD
---------------------------------------------------------

Subject Name: Future, Jaap
Social Security Number: 58008
Date of Birth: 02/01/1919
Gender: [x] M [_] F
Height: 6'0
Weight: - no scale present at time -
Tattoos: none
In Custardy: 12/7



Jurisdiction / Location: New York, NY
Result: Hit

Special Notes (if any): Case Assigned to DET. Peef Y. Shagher

*************************************************

CASE #1

Future, Jaap. Arrested - Guilty.
Crime: Stealing sweeties from children. Handing them back. Stealing them once more.
Charge 1 Sentence: Summer Camp; 2 months.


CASE #2

Address Found: 4050 Fantasy Ln #001, Bolivia
Other ID Found: DLN: AME880500000

Report Type: Felony and Misdemeanor

Case Number: 99T03AME
Charge 1: 23152AME D.U.I. -(M) Dispo: Guilty. Charge 1 Sentence: 48 hours jail; 3 years probation; $1564.00 fine/fees;
DUI offender program (amount of time not specified); attend victim impact panel (amount of time not specified)


Charge 2: 23152AME BAC over 8% -(M) Dispo: Dismissed.



CASE #3

Report Type: Causing ruckus amongst circus visitors. Drunken loonatic dressed up as a clown punching horses.
Suspect escaped, armed and dangerous. Loose cannon.


CASE #4

Report Type: Robbing FORT KNOX
{ Case Outdated. No Results Found; EVIDENCE lacking. }
SUSPECT LOC: Unknown.

CASE #5

Report Type: Assault
>> Left -name of victim- bleeding in an ally after trying to prove the easter bunny is real.


END PAGE [001/003]

==================================================

Jan-31-48 02:26PM From-U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE. CIVIL DIVISION 3034540459 T927 [P. 002/003] F-067

IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
FOR THE DISTRICT COURT OF NEW YORK

Civil Action No. 02-N-740 (FTR)


---------------------------------------------------------
MEDICAL RECORDS
---------------------------------------------------------

Med File 3.2998 FUTR B JAAP

Doctor: Rudi P. Eef


- file security level 008 -
===========================
=========RESTRICTED=======
===========================

----------------------------
----------------------------
{cut to end;}

Notes on Patient 2998 FUTR B JAAP;


Nutter than butter.

Signed: PhD Rudi P. Eef [AUTOGRAPH]; ×

END PAGE [002/003]


==================================================

Jan-31-48 02:26PM From-U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE. CIVIL DIVISION 3034540459 T927 [P. 003/003] F-067

IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
FOR THE DISTRICT COURT OF NEW YORK

Civil Action No. 02-N-740 (FTR)


---------------------------------------------------------
SPECIAL NOTES
---------------------------------------------------------

A case like none other, this man has made the entire police force bow their heads in shame. Very dangerous, very smart. Completely bonkers, wouldn't stop chanting about his so called wife. Records indicate this man was never married. Medical records are secure for some reason, seven levels above my own access card. Notes of his doctor briefly explain his state of mind.

I'm keeping all possible theories open, somehow I believe there is more to this guy than meets the eye. Searching his house left us nothing but more mystery. Surveillance aperture was found, high-tech cameras the Russians didn't use for years to come. Some of those devices came straight from the NASA © Research Facility.

Act of insanity may/could be a literal act, he's up to no good. Things don't smell right and my nose has never let me down. Searches still on their way trying to find a link between suspect#1 Jaap Future {3992} and #2 Harmonica Danger.

=============================
included phone log: 05-04-1937 | 02:48 AM
=============================

- click -
beep beep beep beep beep

Future: Hello? Monica? Veronica? Harmonica?
Harmonica: You can't call me on this number, he'll find out.
Future: He'll have to some day, he can't keep me here forever.
Harmonica: How are you holding up?
Future: Not. Where could she have gone? Why would he do this to me?
Harmonica: Wait, I just heard some one. They're here, I hear knocking.
Future: Open the door for me.
Harmonica: What is this, what are you doing here?
Future: Welcome to the next level.
-click- END

I declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct. Executed

this 31 day of January 1948.

~~scribble~~
________________
Detective Peef Y. Shagher

Copper Carl: You're lucky to get these files today, my filing cabinet was stolen from me last week. Must've thrown it out on the street Y'know, earlier this morning a friendly chap came by saying he found the papers flying lose! Not sure how he knew the papers were mine, but I guess that's why I'm stuck here securing the records, and you're out there investigating!
Peefy Danger: What was his name?
Copper Carl: Iam Few Chair, his name was, sounded Scottish. How about those doughnuts?

I had come to late. Future was one step before me all the way, I was just hoping we were heading for a plunge. I waited until Carl had forgotten why he came into the room and walked out, then i brought the file under my coat and left the station. I could hear him mumbling pleasantries to himself as I passed him. This was why I quit the force. This was why I went my own way. It was the only way to get anything done.

The file was all the usual gibberish and police-talk that served as a compass if you wanted to go nowhere, but the phone conversation caught my interest, and the mention of a name. "Harmonica" Danger. I realized that the file was compromised, and that everything in it was probably meant to be seen by me - but if this transcription was fake, he had done a might good job making it seem genuine.

Harmonica Danger. Suspect.
Monica Danger. Sister.
I hoped this could not be true, but knew in my heart that it probably was.

The names were driving me crazy. The hes and shes were all over the place, I needed to find some more answers. I needed to visit Monica's apartment.

Sitting back in my chair I wondered what my greatest enemy could be up to; probably the usual. Being lazy and playing the fool. He wasn't great at either.

Knowing the forged files were in his hands, I had to wait for him to make the next move. That's the way chess works, though Peefy is in trouble, I've already got his queen. All I can do now is wait at the Secret Future HQ ®.

Chapter 4: A grizzled dog's tale
The door was standing in front of me like a lightpost in a dark alley. I knew that on the other side I would find answers, perhaps not the ones I was looking for, but still ones that would bring me further into this cobweb of mystries and lies.

She lived in 2314th Ayersee St., close to the docks but far from the looks. The building was run down, tired and begging the weather for mercy. There was light in one of the windows, I knew someone was here. And it'd be one hell of a kidnapping if it was my sister. I looked into the mailslot, and saw Bill, and he had brought his companions, Bill and Bill. A whole pile of them were stacked up on the floor, but pushed aside so one could walk past them - which every sane man would, but only few can.

I gave the door a solid knock - a knock of its hinges. There is a time for being quiet, and there is a time for hitting the drums and see what comes at you, and this was one of the latter. I stormed inside, but the greeting was more in-my-face than I expected, and by a fist!

I hit the wall behind me, and tried to see where he was coming from, but as my cheek got hit again, I realized I should rather see where he wasn't coming from. I jumped into the living room and shut the door behind me. I grabbed a table-lamp and waited for him to enter, I felt it was time for me to show him the light.

Harmonica and Monica Danger, they lived at the same address; unrelated - a coincidence. For the last few days I shadowed P. Danger's every move - chased him like his thoughts chased me, only twice as fast. The corrupted papers would lead him down to their house, 2314th Ayersee St. out near the docks. From the moment he got in his car I tailed him, he was finally on his way to find some solid answers, though I was certain they'd find him first. I placed a fake mustache under my nose, I couldn't afford to blow my cover like a colourful whistle on sale. No dime nor the time to waste.

I drove a car a car-length behind him. The ride appeared bumpier than I had hoped for. We came to a stop several times, once at a doughnut parlour, the typical cop hideout. The second time he stopped at the same place, he had been driving in circles for the past hour or two. Lastly he drove into a lane marked down for a bus, the gaps in between the road were too wide for any personal vehicle to pass through; Peefy clearly misunderstood and crashed his car. After a short while another police vehicle pulled over, a colleague of his no doubt. I kept my distance expecting the worst, but the worst didn't come for me. Unfortunately for Dang-her he left his badge in his other trousers, the officer had no choice but to take him in.

We had returned to the police station once more, Dang-her locked in his right place for a change - behind the bars. I wouldn't be me if I didn't make an irrational choice soon, something had to be done to get this show back on the road; I had to bail him out. With a handful of charm and $3,01 leftover from his own twenty, I talked the guards into letting him out of his cell. However; one small problem remained, I now stood straight in front of my worst enemy. My cover was blown, I longed for that discount whistle and all it's harmonic tunes.

Jaap Future with a Mustache: Buenas Dias
Peefy Danger: You saved me, stranger!


He didn't have a clue, the 'stache did all the work it should have done - and more!

Peefy Danger: Seeing you're on a roll helping me, help me some more! I've been trying to find 2314th Ayersee Street but I'm lost!

Jaap Future: No problemo, padre. Just follow your nose.

Peefy Danger: Great, southward it is! Wait, North now, damnit, my nose won't keep still. Am I still speaking? Oh no these are my thoughts, I remember. STAY FOCUSED, you are a GOOD DETECTIVE, you can do this. Now, nose, what way. I'm so lost. Why is that guy still here? I sure like his mustache. If only I could grow facial hair, all the girls would dig me. Got the uniform. Oh my badge! Wait, no time to lose, got to hit the road! Not literally that would hurt my hand. Now to investigate my case, let's go nose!

Jaap Future: ¡Tu eres más estupido que el culo de un mono!

Peefy Danger: Thanks, you too! Be seeing ya!


Oh he would, he had no idea. After another two hour hike across town, he finally made it to the right address. Hiding behind an oddly placed tree I had my vantage point on the entire operation. Peefy stood still infront of the door, probably trying to remember why he was there in the first place. The house did not only belong to Danger and Danger, there was another menace out there. Angry Tom, doors were his hobby. The front door was actually his handy work at best, anyone dare touches it has another thing coming for him.

-crack-

Oh boy, he kicked the door down, Angry Tom is not going to like this.

As I sat with the lamp, I remembered where I was. My sister's apartment. I looked around in the living-room while waiting for the brute to come in, so that I could break his bulb with my lamp. The room was dusty. It had not been used for a couple of days, other than the chair in the middle of the room. Perhaps this was where the brute had been waiting. Waiting for me. This rabbit hole was getting deeper and deeper, and yet I had the feeling of being in a wild goose chase in the middle of duck season. I felt that I was overlooking something, that the sister I was looking for was in another...location.

As I reflected, someone carefully opened the door.The gentle movement in which it opened confused me, put me under a spell. The way he treated that door made me believe that this was a man with remorse. A man seeking for forgivenes, one who had acted out of desperation, and was unaware of his actions. I put down the lamp, and as he was stepping in the door, I welcomed him with open arms. My heart softer than the Queen's pillow. As he closed the door behind him, still gentle, I snapped out of my spell. I got a good look at him. He had a face for radio, and when he started speaking I realized he had a voice for print.

Brute: You're over with, cop.
Peefy: I'm no cop, and who are you?
Brute: I'm Tom.

And then I recognized him. It had been years since I left the force, but I still remembered his hauting face looking at me from the wanted posters.

Peefy: Angry Tom?
Tom: I am.
Peefy: Are you angry, or are you Angr-

He was faster than a horse and drove his fist into me with the force of a train, and made me fly backwards, ending up as a wreck on the floor. I pulled myself up, only to find me leaving the floor again. The man was a giant, and he was holding me up to his height. I was afraid that if he kept this going I'd end up even farther up, and that was a state I didn't fancy being in - death.

Peefy: I have no quarrel with you, I'm not a cop anymore . I'm just looking for my sister.
Tom: Harmonica is your sister?
Peefy: Monica is my sister! I don't know this Harmonica girl.
Tom: There's two of them?

This revelation left Tom confused for a moment, just enough for me to wraggle out of my coat, so I fell to the floor. I made sure there was a distance between us, but didn't leave. Perhaps Tom could give me the clues I were looking for. Just then a familiar voice came from outside.

Jaap: That's enough, Angry Tom. Get in the car!

I ran towards the exit, but as Angry Tom opened and closed the door, I was spellbound again. This man could do whatever he wanted, he was one to trust. He cared. Rushing anything weren't for him, he'd make sure that everything was fine before he proceeded. He knew what he was doing. I slowed down, but as the door closed I was free again. I ran to the window , but it was too late. A car drove out of the driveway. I was alone. Again.

As I noticed Dang-her staring from the window, a car drove out of the driveway. Normally this isn't out of the ordinary, but these were extraordinary times - the car was neither ours nor his. "Mind the car" I said to Angry Tom, only to receive a snappy "Mind The Doors" as response. "That'd make an excellent name for a futuristic rock band" but Tom didn't buy it.

Peefy sat in the corner of the room as I stepped into the house, across the broken front door. He looked tired, the search for his sister must have meddled with his wits. With a medal like his sister in my trophy cabinet, good spirits enhanced my daily day dreams; she had the body of an Olympic swimmer, danced the most exotic shows, the world revolved around her. Shame she has the head of a horse, the likeness between Monica and her brother were uncanny.

Future: Take my hand and get back on your feet.
Peefy: As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself.
Future: My rule is to never enter a battle of wits with an unarmed lunatic; I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you now if I cared.
Peefy: Ha! Your death is more certain than mine, once I get my sister you're History, Future!
Future: My plan is to live an eternal life - so far I'm right on the money, your money. It's been well over a week, if I had cash for envelopes I'd post you her parts just as I promised.
Peefy: Enough already!

Right there and then, I whipped out Peefy's (tiny) gun out of my pants' pocket, holding a firm grip around the handle, cocking it with one smooth motion; I pointed it between his eyes.

Peefy: Hey, that's mine - give it back!

A second smooth motion snapped the gun in three solid pieces. What erupted from Peefy's shrill throat then is something that would haunt me for life, eternity seemed twice as long.

Peefy: Nooooooo!! My gun! How dare you?! You're a bastard and your father a mutt! I hate you and everything you stand for! That drawer behind you commits a crime against furniture fashion!

Future: I'm here to offer you a deal.
Peefy: I'll deal you a punch to your face!
Future: Face it, you want your sister and we want your resources.
Peefy: Resources told me not to trust you.
Future: You have no choice, it's the only way.
Peefy: Way to ruin my day! I'm tired of your games, bring it on.
Future: On your right there is a door, behind that door there are some more. Within each room you'll find a set of objectives, puzzles - complete them and you may find yourself in luck. Nothing is as it seems.
Peefy: Seems like right the job for me, will this set my sister free?
Future: We will see. Enter the door now and prepare for the worst. Welcome to the next level.

I was everywhere I didn't want to be. I was trapped. If I wanted to move, I had to play his game. The only other option was running into Tom's fist, and I've tried that one before.

I gently opened the door, not taking any chances, and walked in. I heard the door being shut behind me. It had been her bedroom. I could still smell her, my sister. The distinct smell she had, I did not know if it was perfume, or if she had been blessed by nature. Whatever it was, I could see why men would fall for her. That, and her perfectly shaped head.

I saw that he had left newspaperclippings and photos shattered on the table and on the desk, but I had to think. He had said it had been a week. That a week had passed. There had been long days and lack of sleep, but despite this, I knew it couldn't have been more than 3, maybe 4 days since he came knocking in my office.

But a week? What was I doing a week ago? I felt the sleep I had been running from was catching up to me, and I had troubles concentrating. I had been on a case. My eyes were struggling to focus. There were some papers that had been misplaced, company papers. I could no longer tell if my eyes were open or not. She was french, and looked familiar, and her name... My head fell forwards, but just as I entered that wonderful dimension of bliss, a surge of energy was released from the depths of my mind. Madam Armonique. She was no more French than the toast I was craving for.

My last case and this one were connected, and now I knew what I was going to find in those newspaper clippings. Rotten, disgusting details of a case that I had long forgotten, but that my last case, which now apperantly was just an introduction to this one, had brought back to memory.

A case so terrible that I have refused to return to it, despite never having solved it.

I picked up a newspaper article from the table. I read the headline.
Daugher of local millionaire found beaten to death in nightclub

It was all coming back to me. I kept on reading, despite knowing every detail about the story. Jaap wanted me to investigate, so I investigated.

Peefy leaned against a bed next to the desk as he breathed out a few last words so quietly that no dog could understand them. "..perfectly shaped head.. had been a week.. lack of sleep ..newspaper..". These dogs and I had one thing in common, Peefy's words were a mystery. He slowly dropped his body onto the bed and entered into a heavy sleep, probably dreaming as he went - babbling a word every now and then; "Daugher...millionaire.. nightclub". Must have been a great night, he was out like a baby.

Four minutes passed, though it seemed more along the likes of four weeks since we continued. I couldn't help but feel a strange sense of affection for Mr Danger as he cuddled up with the blankets. Never before had I seen a grown man this way, the peace he emitted was out of this world. Somehow this awoke the mothering senses within me, this man needed care and I was prepared to feed it to him. This was the one chance I had to do what I've always wanted, yet figured it may not be the opportune time to dance the tango in bright moonlight. Instead the moment was stolen by thievery, skillfully I helped him get rid of his wallet - after all he did still owe me a smacker worth of cash.

The National Bank was the next X on my map, things were finally coming to a finale. Using his bank cards I'll get the ransom plus keep his sister, a win win situation if you were in the right shoes. Peefy however, wasn't wearing any shoes at all. Before me and my friend Angry Tom left, I left Peefy something he'd remember me by: an apricot jam sandwich and a note that said "I owe you 1 sister PS I tucked you in, how does that make you feel?! ~ Greetings Jaap "Professional Criminal & Co®" Future." I took him for everything he was worth; his pride and shoes.

Jaap Future: "Start the car up, Angry T. We'll be rich soon!"

Chapter 5: A prologue of late memories

The year is 1937. I had just joined the force, pushed into it by my father who had shown his force to me on multiple occasions. I had spirit back then, but somewhere along the way the spirit became those of a different kind – a kind I would use to drown the memories that came that year. I was put on case of a film director from Denmark who had forged some businesspapers. Our first meeting is still as vivid as it was the day it happened.
He was staying in an apartment while I was staying outside of one. Patrolling the streets, breathing the air of the night, doing my job. A window opened, and a man called me over to him. Next door, he said, a woman has been screaming for almost an hour. I peeked at the building. Curtains closed. Their lives in temporary isolation, perhaps broken by the waves of a radio. I walked over, made my way in and knocked on the door in question. The number was 103.
A man opened. He was young, only a few years older than me. He had been sweating, but did not look exhausted. In fact, he looked calm as a cub, leaning against doorframe. I could not help but notice the ring. He eyed me, but did not say anything.
Peefy: Pardon me, sir, but I’ve been told by some gents that there’s sounds of a woman screaming in here.
Man: No, no woman here. You must be mistaken.
Peefy: Are ye sure that your wife is okey?
Man: My wife is back in Denmark! And I must ask you to leave, young man! I am filming my movie, and have to be early up tomorrow. Good bye.
His face, there was something about it, something sinister. The face of a man who had enjoyed a heinous crime. The face of a villain. As he closed the door, I could swear I heard a female voice. A mistress, maybe, but for now only a mystery.