A Duel for A Cow and a Hero (KamikazeCow)

Captain Ruffy, after winning big at that Battle Royale in Moselia, deicded that he wanted to kick someone elses rear-end. So he sent out a message to all the Space Ports telling anyone interested in fighting should come to Mokajaro's Arena today. Ruffy flexed his large bicpes and awaited an opponent....

Hey Cow reply ASAP!

Space...... the final frontier..... these are the voyages of the cargo freighter, Big Bertha...

Her continuing mission, to seek out strange new life, and new civilizations, to boldly go where no cargo freighter has gone before!

*Passing ever so slowly across the ways, a smoking hulk glides by*

Captain Slippy walked across the deck of his proud, yet ugly vessel. They were headed for a common space port, after receiving a message to do so. One of his crew claimed he could win a large sum of money from a contest that was being held there.

So with dollar signs in their eyes, the intrepid crew of the S.S. Big Bertha ventured forth to snatch the prize.

Upon arriving there, they began unloading cargo whilst some of the crew went to the arena which belonged to Mokajaro. When they got there a fierce looking man stood in the middle, challenging anyone to a fight.

"Bring him in boys!" the man shouted to his ship mates, who drug in a large crate. They pushed a button which opened up a door on the end of the rectangular crate. Inside one could see blue eyes glowing. Forward the walking sound came until finally, a cow, with a red bandana around his head was standing in the midst of many other aliens and races. Uncontrolable laughter rose through the whole arena, but the man awaiting a fight gave him the benefit of the doubt. A zealous audience member threw a rotten vegetable which one might say was cabbage or some other strange plant. It flew at the cow with amazing speed, but the cow sprang to life, running forward and flipping on his forward legs, the cabbage missed and the whole place fell silent.

With a raised eye brow the man said, "So, you're gonna fight me?" In response the cow stood up erect on his hind legs, and began doing various martial arts moves, leaping in the air with a power unknown, and landing, held his legs in a fighting stance, and held one out, motioning for the man to come forward with a, "Wyaaaaaaa" sound coming from his mouth.....

Ruffy was slightly amused by this....bovine's show of Martial Arts skill. So he said, "Okay then!!! Lets go!!!" Then the cow sprang at Ruffy with unnatural speed...for a cow. It had its razor-hooves aimed at Ruffy's slender but muscular body. Ruffy easily dodged the attack by jumping high into the air. Then he whipped out his Pistol and began firing upon the cow, a dinner meal on his mind. The crowd went "Ooooohhhh" when they saw Ruffy in the air shooting at an insane body of beef with legs....The cow had only a few seconds to react before the bullets entered his hairy body...

Doing a backhandspring twice, the heifer avoided being turned into the evening meal. The bullets wized by his body, impacting with the ground. As the man known as Ruffy landed, the cow dashed at him, leaping into the air, appearing to fly, and finally crashing straight down into Ruffy, crushing him with his weight. Getting up and walking away on all fours, the cow didn't pay much attention to the man as he got up and threw a chunk of cabbage that was provided by a fan.

Standing up and jumping in the air, the cow spun around and kicked the cabbage back into Ruffy's face. Boos went up from the crowd, making it quite clear that Ruffy was the favorite to win. The cow charged him and got up in his face, kicking and making quick punches and chops, and even an eye gouge. He jump kicked the captain, and flipped back, standing ready for more.....

Ruffy fell down on his behind, exhuasted from this insane cows onslaught. If his endurence was measured in percents, he was now at 37.8% health. This bovine was wearing him out. Think of the laughing stock he would be if he was beaten by a cow! He stood up, huffing and puffing loudly and looking for a way to overcome this mooing menace. He checked his pistol and found that it had 3 bullets left. So he looked up at the cow and smirked. Then, with superhuman speed he sprung at the Cow and fired his pistol. The crowd gasped as blood became evident in the cows left arm. The cow mooed in anger than smacked Ruffy back about 20 feet. Ruffy landed hard on the arena floor. He got up trembling, but still he smiled. He looked up at the sky and screamed "HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!". Suddenly he began glowing and like that his wounds were healed. Whispers of Ruffy's Battle Spirit technique spread throught the crowd. The cow blinked stupidly. Suddenly Ruffy was in front of the cow and then he started massacaring the bovine-contender. The mooed in pain and anger as he got smacked continuesly. Then Ruffy winded his fist up and sent the cow flying. Then assumed a fighting stance, ready for the cows next move...