Cyber Crashers [Anyone, any number]

OoC: Pretty much anyone can post here, but there is a condition. Your character must have access to a computer. We're talking New Age/Present Time characters, people. Of course, you could have a character from the past who magically gets a computer, but whatever. Be original. As long as they can get a computer, we're OK. Survivors get an upgrade.

Now, normally I'd use Zeliro, but Wolver is severely underused. Wolver it is! Link in sig.

BiC: Wolver hated advertisements.

They would pop up everywhere on the World Wide Web. For instance, one moment the young hybrid was searching for good speeders, and the next he saw "SHOOT THE BIRD AND GET A FREE RAY GUN!" So annoying.

And to top it all off, Ubechok had been giving him lessons on CP usage, so now it was Wolver's job to research stuff on the Net. And the Net was not all that it was cracked up to be, when you're researching, anyway.

First, you had to visit www.Googleplex.com, probably the most annoying website in the world. Those honking ducks wore on the nerves. Next, you had to type your question into the ASK: bar, but the computer didn't understand simple English, oh no, so they had to put in special "computer code", which takes forever to learn. The letters are totally randomized, even, see!

A equals 61423
B equals %#$6
C equals IUHJ&75

And so on, and so forth. It made no sense! Then, after you managed to get in your question, your computer would slowly process each word and try to answer your question. Of course, usually the answers made little sense. Example:

Q: How do you fire a laser gun?
A: You can get excellent prices on laser guns at Laser Guns R'Us!

Q: How do you drive a speeder?
A: Joseph's Auto Lair has superb speeders, for a bargain value!

The Internet was stupidly commercialized. Of course, since the ASK: function sucked, the next logical choice would be to use the PRICES: bar, right? After all, the ASK: search usually gave you prices. Even though there was no code, though, this didn't work so well. For instance:

Q: Where can I buy a used speeder?
A: USED SPEEDER-$500,000 minimum value

Not very useful. So, next you'd turn to the last possible one, the ancient SEARCH: function that operated on key words. Still not good.

Q: shirt buttons
A:
-You can get some shirts at Buy.net! Just press the Enter button!
-Yesterday, a speeder crashed. The driver forgot to press the Brake button. He was wearing a red shirt...

It just went on and on and on. After maybe six pages of searching for a specific topic, you would find hardly any of the information! Say you were looking for an article on "bio mice". You'd get:

Bio mice are used in many labs around the country. They are known for green fur and yellow tails.

Over an hour of searching for two sentences? Absurd! And that is why Wolver hated the Internet. And now, he was using it yet again. To research "biannual bio mice reproduction". Sighing, he went to the ASK: bar and angrily punched in the 51 characters it took to write that out in code. Hitting Enter, he looked over his results.

-You can find great computer viruses at Hackers R'Us!
-Computer viruses are deadly.

The list went on and on! "... Huh? I didn't search computer viruses!... Whazzat!" The glowing screen on the computer began to swirl like a churning lake until there was a whirlpool of computer, right in front of Wolver. "What the..." The hybrid's voice trailed off. Somehow, even with the churning screen, Wolver managed to see the silhouette of a devilish being on the monitor. "I... SEE... YOU..."

A dark hand stretched out of the screen, seeming to flex its shadowy fingers, and even though the hand was only average-sized, it managed to wrap around Wolver. He futilely called for help as he was dragged into the computer mercilessly. Ubechok and his bodyguards arrived too late: the room was back to normal.

Wolver awoke in a strange area. The floor seemed to be split into thousands of glowing green tiles, stretching out for miles. The sky was totally black, and green 0s and 1s spun around in various patterns. "Binary code... Where am I?" A mechanical voice laughed. "In cyberspace, or as it is more commonly known, the Internet. But from the inside."

"The Internet..."

OoC: Yeah, I had fun with Wolver's little rant over computers. Well, you should be smart enough to realize that the thing that grabbed Wolver was a virus. Oh, and there is no Googleplex website. Wolver lives in the future, remember?

Er... sorry for double-posting, but does anyone want to try this? Will delete when someone posts.