Critique Central!

Originally Posted by HitokiriChibi

Hoi! I haven't posted in this particular thread before but... I needs help! @_@

Zis picture is a request for Knives - and I have never drawn two people kissing. I still have trouble drawing to people on the same page !!

I know there is something wrong with the hands, the arm... basically the whole thing really >_<; And no matter how hard I try to change it... it doesn't work ;-;

Hmm. The neck on the girl seems a too stretched out. Maybe it's because her shoulders are too low? I'm not quite sure. And something about her lip doesn't look right. Wow, this is really helping you, isn't it? >.< I'll try and write some things over it with my tablet in a little...



You draw hands and fingers very well though, in their positions. That has to be one of the hardest things, and you've got good skill with it. However, I can tell it's mostly just a light sketch out, but the girl's fingers seem a little too masculine.

Since no-one's actually posting actively for this thread to permit any new entries, thus more-or-less killing the thread, I hope no-one minds if I posty something for critique.

Basically, it's the little mermaid, and how I imagine her to be in a more realistic plane.

WARNING for partial nudity.













(Bad quality as it was scanned, cropped and enlarged.
I've been told that her boobs and back need some adjustments, so extra critique on how to accomplish that would be great.
Also, since this is a quick practise sketch, I scanned it and coloured it in, similarly, for critique before doing the final piece.




To achieve the hair, for time-saving, I simply shaded the region with solid red colour, then added strands at the end to make it look realistic.
However, would it look more realistic if I drew each strand individually, like I did with my Phoenix: Endsong piece?

I'm aware that her face is very pale, and her skin is brown, but that's simply because I have only 12 basic-colour pencils, so ignore that for now, that will change once I buy some decent pencils.

Originally, I wanted a more deeper, emerald green for her fin, (but I didn't have a dark green pencil) but I also wanted to see if scales that I scratched in appeared - which they don't, so if anyone has any tips on how to create visible, authentic looking scales, please feel free to tell.
Lastly, I added a purple shell necklace on Ariel's neck, as it's simply criminal for her to not wear her signature purple chest accessory.

Originally Posted by super-fergus

You love him - It's Ganondorf!

When I was drawing this, i wanted to capture Ganondorf as if he's just been interrupted by Link, saving the day!

Who knows what Ganondorf's hands are about to lay apon.

THE RULES

- Each work should be commented on twice before a new work is posted, this way each work can get it's fair share of criticism.

- Criticism more then praise is encouraged here. Just saying "Looks great!" does not do it. At least say "Looks great, but..."

- Please wait two people before posting a work again. As in: You --> Them --> Them --> You

- Post only NEW pieces for which you want feedback that you haven't yet received from ZU'ers from another thread in the section.

I've twisted the rule as there was zero activity here, and even then, I personally have made sure the last piece submitted was commented upon at least once.

In any case, you've submitted this piece in another art thread here, no?
In that case - you can't by right, post here.

Eyah! SD art works! Being an avid Ariel fangirl, I was all "eek! That's awesome!", and it is. :3

I absolutely love the colored version. I can barely tell you only used 12 colored pencils. It's amazing. o-o

I especially love her hair, it's so flowy. And, her tail is all shiny, you gave everything such wonderful texture! ^-^

The only thing that i see wrong with it are the hands, which aren't entirely noticeable. It's like, unlike the rest of the body, they weren't given as much detail. But, as I said, you can barely notice, seeing as you're distracted by the excellent drawing as a whole.

I love it. :3

I noticed no one was commenting on my thread, then i saw this thread, and though maybe this was the best place to post instead.

You barely posted it today. Be patient. ;3

Originally Posted by super-fergus

I'm still darn confused!
I noticed no one was commenting on my thread, then i saw this thread, and though maybe this was the best place to post instead.

So tell me please, what am i to do?!

Well, you've only just created your thread, so it's likely that few people have had the time to see it, bear in mind ZUers live all around the world in different timezones.
Be patient.
If no-one responds to your thread in a few days, then feel free to post here again, but bear in mind the rules.

Oh pish posh.
This thread seems to be fast with feedback though!
yes, I'm a impatient person - eek.

I'll try here later, okay?

I absolutely love the colored version. I can barely tell you only used 12 colored pencils. It's amazing. o-o

I only actually used five - Red, yellow, brown, purple and green.

I especially love her hair, it's so flowy. And, her tail is all shiny, you gave everything such wonderful texture! ^-^

So, should I continue drawing the hair in the same way? :3
I was worried that it'd look a little blocky. ^_^;

The only thing that i see wrong with it are the hands, which aren't entirely noticeable. It's like, unlike the rest of the body, they weren't given as much detail. But, as I said, you can barely notice, seeing as you're distracted by the excellent drawing as a whole.

That's very true - I'll take this away, make the hands and fingers more noticeable. Thanks for pointing that out.

I love it. :3

I love you. ^^

You barely posted it today. Be patient. ;3[/quote]

The colors are extremely eye catching!
And the contrast between the three primary colors make it all the more!
This would sit great with some sort of background.

overall, fab!



Two comments!...can i post now?

Originally Posted by SuperDecimal

I only actually used five - Red, yellow, brown, purple and green.

That's even more impressive! o-o

So, should I continue drawing the hair in the same way? :3
I was worried that it'd look a little blocky. ^_^;

Hm... peeeersonally, I think it looks really great the way it is, but, it's always fun to experiment... hhhm... I say go for it! Maybe it will look even more awesome! x3

That's very true - I'll take this away, make the hands and fingers more noticeable. Thanks for pointing that out.

You're welcome. :3

I love you. ^^

^-^

Where you bent her waist/hips looks like such a big angle, it makes it look really awkward I think - like she bent right at the ribcage. It also seems to extend her stomach making it look really long.

Umm.. could try by making it more sloped, make it a more gracceful curve?

I kinda drew what I meant if you didnt understand that ^^;

SD inspired me! : D

But, erm... there was a hole in the paper and I put her too far down, so her tail is all squished. Also, I don't think I should have gone over it with ink, because I made the bubbles look funky. x-x

Maybe when I color it, it will not look all "D:" and more like, ": D".

Anyway, thank you muchly for inspiring me, SD. Brought back a lot of memories from when I was little and Ariel was all I could think about. X3

EDIT: And, now that I look at it, the pen lines are all shaky. Eep, I guess I should stop drawing so late at night. I was half asleep drawing most of this. XD

Originally Posted by HitokiriChibi

Where you bent her waist/hips looks like such a big angle, it makes it look really awkward I think - like she bent right at the ribcage. It also seems to extend her stomach making it look really long.

Umm.. could try by making it more sloped, make it a more gracceful curve?

I kinda drew what I meant if you didnt understand that ^^;

Ah - yes I see.
It definately makes her look a lote more realistic.
I shall definately try making her waistline more streamlined like you've suggested in the final.
My reasoning for the super-slim, angled waist was simply because that's how she appeared in the cartoon: http://www.wallpaperspecial.com/wall...e-Mermaid9.jpg
But I agree, the sizes I've used look a little unnatural - thanks for the advice!


Cio: I'm currently printing out your pic to write on - so I shall have a critique ready as soon as possible!

Hey! My drawing only got one comment! Aren't we supposed to do two comments per drawing? ;_;

Originally Posted by Kynnella

Hey! My drawing only got one comment! Aren't we supposed to do two comments per drawing? ;_;

THE RULES

- Each work should be commented on twice before a new work is posted, this way each work can get it's fair share of criticism.

- Criticism more then praise is encouraged here. Just saying "Looks great!" does not do it. At least say "Looks great, but..."

- Please wait two people before posting a work again. As in: You --> Them --> Them --> You

- Post only NEW pieces for which you want feedback that you haven't yet received from ZU'ers from another thread in the section.

I've noticed that you actually posted your pic in your art thread, so it by right should not be posted here at all, but I did not know this beforehand.
Be grateful you got one, very detailed comment, along with the several comments you got in your thread.
That was very sneaky of you - I'm not impressed.





okay - the pencil comments haven't scanned in too well, so I'll walk you through them.



First of all, let's start with the hair. :3
It lokos a little solid, which is completely fine, but to make it more realistic, you could perhaps draw the basic hair shape, but then add little stringy ends on the edges to give it a more naturalistic feel. (shown by teh green hairlines above).

The face is actually very well articulated, but I personally feel it needs to be moved down the face just a little, and make the features a lot bigger, to fill the face more, i.e, bigger eyes, nose and mouth.

Now - the torso, as far as I'm concerned is incredibly well drawn!
The shoulders lead on seamlessly from the neck (great attention to the detail of the contours where the bones are, by the way!) and the detail on the hands and arms give Ariel a very graceful look.
The only real possible criticsm I could make is to simply draw some lines to show her cleavage a little, otherwise, it looks like the shells are floating on her chest (I've tried to draw some in as an example above)
I love the way the torso flows into the fin and the 'fringe' around her waist - that's a very well drawn object for what is normally very difficult to establish!

I know you had limited space for the fin and tail, so that's not really something I can comment fairly on, though for future reference, I tend to believe that Ariel's fin is the length of human legs (as seen on the right).
Also, drawing a few scales randomly and infrequently on the fin may add some texture.

I disagree, however, that the tail flukes look squashed, their position is very unique and I believe that they give the picture some energy, some indication of movement!
I adore the way the flukes were drawn. :3
I actaully think they're a defining piece there.

I can't wait to see this in colour, I think it's a fantastic drawing, and with the few changes, it could be even more impressive!
You go, girl!


EDIT: I have deleted the argument with Kynella, as it was off-topic arguing.

I realize Cio's actually already posted a new piece, but I have a few comments for SD's piece.

Firstly, it looks to me like her right breast (the viewer's left) is a bit too high. It's not too small or anything, it just starts (and thus ends) too high on her chest -- you've left no room for the poor girl's shoulder!

As for her hair, I'm actually quite impressed with it. You made it look REALLY realistic, and very very pretty! ^^ So yeah, that's a technique I'd keep using. :3

Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you so much SD. Eek, I love critique :3

Originally Posted by SuperDecimal

okay - the pencil comments haven't scanned in too well, so I'll walk you through them.



First of all, let's start with the hair. :3
It lokos a little solid, which is completely fine, but to make it more realistic, you could perhaps draw the basic hair shape, but then add little stringy ends on the edges to give it a more naturalistic feel. (shown by teh green hairlines above).

I see what you meeean... hm... How I really wish I hadn't gone over it in ink. X3

I'll still try to fix that. :3

The face is actually very well articulated, but I personally feel it needs to be moved down the face just a little, and make the features a lot bigger, to fill the face more, i.e, bigger eyes, nose and mouth.

That makes sense too. Positioning of things is like my worst enemy. o:

Now - the torso, as far as I'm concerned is incredibly well drawn!
The shoulders lead on seamlessly from the neck (great attention to the detail of the contours where the bones are, by the way!) and the detail on the hands and arms give Ariel a very graceful look.
The only real possible criticsm I could make is to simply draw some lines to show her cleavage a little, otherwise, it looks like the shells are floating on her chest (I've tried to draw some in as an example above)
I love the way the torso flows into the fin and the 'fringe' around her waist - that's a very well drawn object for what is normally very difficult to establish!

Eyah, I'm always so shy about drawing boobs. x-x;;

But, alrighty, that can be done. :3

I know you had limited space for the fin and tail, so that's not really something I can comment fairly on, though for future reference, I tend to believe that Ariel's fin is the length of human legs (as seen on the right).
Also, drawing a few scales randomly and infrequently on the fin may add some texture.

Ah, when you see the colored pic, you'll notice I did just that. *points farther down* : D

I disagree, however, that the tail flukes look squashed, their position is very unique and I believe that they give the picture some energy, some indication of movement!
I adore the way the flukes were drawn. :3
I actaully think they're a defining piece there.

Woo ^^

I can't wait to see this in colour, I think it's a fantastic drawing, and with the few changes, it could be even more impressive!
You go, girl!

: D I have the colored one! Finished it right after testing. And, since I know it's the same pic colored, let's just say that I already have one comment on it. X3



And, I'm off to go make those changes on the stuff you mentioned. :3

That colouring...is flawless!
The hair looks fully dimensional with the effect you have over it, and I particularly love the fin!
I see you did add the scales, and may I say, it really gives the fin some intriguing texture!
I love the way you've perfectly used light and shadow!
Just one teeny-tiny thing with the tail flukes, they should be a lighter, almost translucent green/blue - but other than that, tht is some amazing colouring!
How did yu manage such a feat?

Originally Posted by SuperDecimal

That colouring...is flawless!
The hair looks fully dimensional with the effect you have over it, and I particularly love the fin!
I see you did add the scales, and may I say, it really gives the fin some intriguing texture!
I love the way you've perfectly used light and shadow!
Just one teeny-tiny thing with the tail flukes, they should be a lighter, almost translucent green/blue - but other than that, tht is some amazing colouring!
How did yu manage such a feat?

o-o You really like it?

Woo! : D

And, I realized the thing with the flukes, and I tried going over it with white, but it didn't do much. I'll keep trying though, as long as I don't make another hole in the paper. x3

Hm... I color like... having the same pressure the entire time, but, just keep going over a certain part over and over and over again. It kind of takes a while though. And, I somtimes over do it. X3

I just realized that the scanner made her skin reaaally bright. Kind of glowy. o-o

Very nice Cio~! The way you did her skin is so nice - you just hint at the colours and it works so well ^_^

The way you added scales really pushed the image along as well - its little details like that which adds extra depth to a picture.

With the hair shading though, remember that there are various strands - not one sheet of hair flowing exactly the same. You could seperate it into chunks - some overlapping others etc. But its still pretty hair ^_^

*claps* yai for cio~! X3

Originally Posted by HitokiriChibi

Very nice Cio~! The way you did her skin is so nice - you just hint at the colours and it works so well ^_^

The way you added scales really pushed the image along as well - its little details like that which adds extra depth to a picture.

With the hair shading though, remember that there are various strands - not one sheet of hair flowing exactly the same. You could seperate it into chunks - some overlapping others etc. But its still pretty hair ^_^

*claps* yai for cio~! X3

Eep, I always do that with the hair, no? X3

But, as you guys keep pointing these things out, I keep tucking 'em away for future reference, so thank you both a lot. ^-^

*huggles SD and Chibi* :3