An original fic: The Legend of Cain

This is a story that i totally made up myself. the prologue is short, but i thought that the script was solid. the rest of the story i havent gotten to quite yet what with writing my zelda fic and a buncha other things. anyway, if you think i should continue this, then respond in this thread and tell me.


Cain



Prologue



King Humphry ran through the dark castle corridors, sobbing to himself. He was old, and could not run as fast as he used to. Tears ran down his chubby face, and his eyes were red with tears. Dead... all dead...

The good King ran past countless motionless corpses... the royal guard all slain with their throats slashed, stab wounds through their stomach’s and chests, and cuts across their arms and legs, leaking pools of sticky dark blood onto the polished floor of the castle. Behind the fleeing King, the darkness that was enveloping the dead castle was deepening. A figure was gaining on the King with ease... toying with him.

The King rammed a door open, bruising his shoulder. He ran into an even darker room, and stumbled over several bodies. How had the creature gotten here ahead of him? He sniffed to himself as he ran, his breath coming in searing gasps. He was tired, had several cut wounds on his body, and his wife and kids were dead. His emotion and vitality were spent.

As he tried to force himself to run harder, he stumbled into a patch of moonlight filtering down through the unnatural cobwebs of a window... and found himself staring into the white face of his best friend since he was a teenager...Garmolath. His old face was twisted in pain, and his neck had been cut open, his throat hanging out part way. He lay in his own congealed blood, and his blue eyes were staring heavenward, as if hoping to be revived back to life to say goodbye to his best friend... never to rest in peace for eternity.

Humphry let out a cry of anguish, and fell to his knees over Garmolath’s body, crying uncontrollably. He had to keep going. He had to escape this demon who had destroyed his entire life...

But even as this thought ran through his mind, he heard the door he had slammed open creak behind him... and knew it was all over.

He turned around, still on his knees, Garmolath’s blood staining his hands, and raised them up, clasping them together and between sobs, gasping to the advancing figure, “please... please! Don’t do this! I’ve committed no crime! Why are you doing this?”

The huge hulk of a being stopped just out of sight, and it’s eyes opened, revealing leaping yellow-red flames. It opened it’s mouth, the hot-metal stench of Corrosive Magic flowing out into Humphry’s nostrils, and made him wretch.

“Because I believe in power,” spoke the terrible demon, raising up a shining blue double edged flaming sword. “And I want it.”

Humphry’s eyes glazed over as the blade swept down and pierced his throat. He let out a strangled gasp, and the last of his tears dried on his cheek’s. His eyes rolled back, and his spent body collapsed to the floor as the beast yanked the wretched blade out. The blood that was rolling down it’s length dissipated in the hot magic running along it.

The beast sheathed the blade at it’s side, strode over, under the high window, and stood there, unmoving.

Then it’s hulky legs extended at an impossible rate, and he soon stood as tall as a house, gazing through the window at the plains that extended quite a ways, leading to the other cities in Belisaur. Nobody yet knew of the shifting of powers that had just occurred, but they would soon know... they would know very soon.

“My land,” said the creature, then it laughed. It laughed slowly at first, then it got louder, and louder, filling the halls and wind outside of the massacred castle with the horrible sound. The sound of pure evil tainted the skies... the skies that would remain plagued for centuries to come.

I liked it. Kind of reminds me of the legend of an evil ogre, you know blah blah blah. One question though, was the beast inside still when this happened?

...The beast sheathed the blade at it’s side, strode over, under the high window, and stood there, unmoving.

Then it’s hulky legs extended at an impossible rate, and he soon stood as tall as a house, gazing through the window at the plains that extended quite a ways,...

Wasn't clear, so I thought I'd ask. Good start by the way.

yea, sorry about that. yes, he was still inside. sorry bout the confusion.

Interesting. I mean that in a good way of course. I like the dark genre of it. Is Cain gonna be a future character? But anyway, I think that if you feel comfortable writing so many things at once, go for it. But knowing me, if i were you, I wouldnt be able to consintrate on so many things at once is all. Good job tho! Poor Humphrey..