|
||||||
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
#1
[
]
03-23-2005, 11:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Wings that Cannot Fly [Poem]
This ish my first poem, sorry if it sucks.
What is the use of wings that cannot fly, like life with no meaning? A fracture so deep Makes me wonder Is it worth the effort to continue flapping? It hurts so much with each beat So I plummet down from the skies Twirling in a serenade of lost glory Watching as my blood paints the sky around me crimson. And yet, I see the perch is only a league or so away Shall I continue on through pain, or shall I give in to sway? And yet I think of those that I love Would it not be selfish to give up like a dove Who has lost its mate? So I continue flapping through the pain. Inching closer toward the branch with my talons outstretched. [It's mostly my opinion of suicide, which was inspired by one of my internet friends whom I talk to a lot. She tried overdosing on some European pill in attempt to kill herself, but didn't take enough, thank the Lord.] 
|
|
#3
[
]
03-24-2005, 08:58 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Wings that Cannot Fly [Poem]
For a first try, that was excellent, Haruhiko! Very emotional, without being completely over the top... You could become a pro poet with a bit of work
 Suicide sucks, though...
__________________
"It's easy to cry that you're beaten, and die; It's easy to crawfish and crawl, But to fight and to fight, when hope's out of sight- Why, that's the best game of them all! And though you come out of each gruelling bout All broken and beaten and scarred, Just have one more try- it's dead easy to die! It's the keeping-on-living that's hard."
|
|
#4
[
]
03-24-2005, 09:09 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Wings that Cannot Fly [Poem]
Oooo, that was very nice. Personally, I'd get rid of "like life with no meaning?" and make it more symbolic (so it doesn't give away the hidden meaning of the poem right off at the start), but that's just me. It was very nice, I like it.
__________________
{Awards Also Won: Best Signature, Most Clan Spirit} 
|
| Sponsored Links |
|
#5
[
]
03-24-2005, 11:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Wings that Cannot Fly [Poem]
Heh, I know, Miniblin, I couldn't find another symbol...Thanks for all of your replies, guys, and thanks for the advice Gerudo ^^
|
|
#6
[
]
03-24-2005, 12:12 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Wings that Cannot Fly [Poem]
AHhh I love it!!! Its beautiful... Better than I can do!!! Good job!!! ^.^
__________________
 [Sapphire] "Take a mortal man, and put him into control. Watch him become a god, watch people's heads aroll..." -Megadeth
|
| Sponsored Links |
|
#7
[
]
03-24-2005, 03:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Wings that Cannot Fly [Poem]
Wow! That was a great poem! Especially for a first try! I think you're a great writer. Your poem really touched me. Keep up the good work! :cool:
|
|
#8
[
]
03-24-2005, 09:55 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Wings that Cannot Fly [Poem]
Hey, great poetic work Haruhiko! I like to write a little here and there and that was a lot better than most of the stuff I have written. Keep up the good work!
|
| Sponsored Links |
 |
| Tags |
| fly, poem, wings |
| Thread Tools | |
|
|
