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#1
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12-31-2004, 02:54 AM
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Dear God Please Speak
He stole my purse
My child has cursed I am late for the meet My job has me beat Give me strength Help me now Give me strength Don’t teach me how I want, I need I want, I need But don’t teach me I want, I need I want, I need But don’t teach me We’ve got no cash We’re out of hash Lost one~ one’s saved Lost lived~ harsh waves Give me strength Help me now Gimme Gimme Don’t teach me how I want, I need I want, I need But don’t teach me I want, I need I want, I need But don’t teach me Fault lines broken Winds have spoken Snows have frozen Fault lines broken Under the sea Under the dirt Under the snow Aww poor child hurt? Under the sea Under the dirt Under the snow Poor baby left hurt? Poor baby Don’t cry Poor baby Don’t cry Left under it all Never to rise again Yet Never to fall Stand proud, Stand tall . . . . . . song lyrics... poem... take it as you will. First one in over a year.... maybe even 2.... damn I've sucked it up... well, C&C please! Last edited by Mess; 12-31-2004 at 02:53 PM. 
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#3
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01-02-2005, 07:43 PM
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Re: Dear God Please Speak
What in the... What is this all about?
__________________
 [Valice.Net] [Click to save humanity] [ZU Psychologist] 6,000th post - 2007/02/03
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#4
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01-02-2005, 08:01 PM
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Re: Dear God Please Speak
Has a nice rhyming pattern to it, changing from one to another and then back and forth.. I can see that more of being an acoustic song played very slowly than a poem, but im a guitarist so maybe that is just me. Anyways it goes well together by the sounds, but im not sure I fully understand the message behind it.
__________________
"Your sig... flashes... too much O_o..." "Sometimes, girls need to be told to be to keep in place. So whenever your arm candy starts to speak without being spoken to, I'd suggest you smack her, and/or verbally abuse her. It's the way Jesus would do things. And I follow Jesus. So, don't be sacreligious, and be sure to hit them whenever you see necessary."
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#5
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01-02-2005, 08:51 PM
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Re: Dear God Please Speak
From what I gather from your poem, this is one's view on the situation of the world as a society..... and the force of what is unknown and powerful from mother earth also. Even if that's not what you meant by writing it, thats what I took from your writing. I really like the style, and the rythm.
The statements are very poignant... and blunt. I'll look forward to reading more, and I think I'll save this one to my hard drive, so I can look back on it to reflect... about the times we live in here on earth.
__________________
[ZU Married to the wonderful Foamz | - shhhhh..... I've adopted Moiph....|PM me for the clan test!]
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