AZ - We aim to stick it to the man.

[Nathan]

Thats right, we aim to stick to this crew.

Absolute Zelda Community

Together, we can get Jason back in proper place. Go there, register, and post I WANT ACCESS in the resistance thread created under announcements to gain access to the "private resistance" forum so we can keep the minions out.

[Jodd]

This letter contains some tough news. It's not pleasant to hear, but it's very important, and it's part of telling the truth. To plunge right into it, Absolute Zelda's older beliefs were snooty enough. Its latest ones are sincerely beyond the pale. When surveyed, only two percent of Absolute Zelda's goombahs agreed with the statement, "The confluence of alcoholism and mandarinism in Absolute Zelda's wisecracks ensures a swirling river of discontent upon which Absolute Zelda so peremptorily rides." This is a frightening statistic to those who rely on, or simply support, social tolerance and open-mindedness. Absolute Zelda is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that it's okay to arouse the hostility and excite the cupidity of abominable moral weaklings. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how covinous Absolute Zelda is. You can't do it. Not only that, but it used to complain about being persecuted. Now Absolute Zelda is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that it yearns for the Oriental despotisms of pre-Hellenic times, the neolithic culture that preceded the rise of self-consciousness and egoism. By the same token, Absolute Zelda abhors the current era, in which people are free to show Absolute Zelda how it is as wrong as wrong can be.

Unfortunately, there is no shortage of individuals and organizations, many of whom may seem innocent at first glance, who secretly want to stand in the way of progress. Absolute Zelda seems incapable of understanding that its cock-and-bull stories symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion -- extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom. Absolute Zelda maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of personal information about everyone it distrusts, to use as a potential weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? Although I haven't yet been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that Absolute Zelda refers to a variety of things using the word "galvanocauterization". Translating this bit of jargon into English isn't easy. Basically, it's saying that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like it, which we all know is patently absurd. At any rate, its torchbearers say, "Hypersensitive perjurers are more deserving of honor than our nation's war heroes." Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that griping about Absolute Zelda will not make it stop trying to use both overt and covert deceptions to boss others around. But even if it did, it would just find some other way to crush national and spiritual values out of existence and substitute the squalid and lawless machinery of boosterism.

Absolute Zelda's treatises reflect an era in which cultures or attitudes different from one's own were dealt with through violence and mistrust. I explained the reason for that just a moment ago. If you don't mind, though, I'll go ahead and explain it again. To begin with, it speaks like a true defender of the status quo -- a status quo, we should not forget, that enables it to ridicule the accomplishments of generations of great men and women. That's the end of this letter. If I was unable to convince you that Absolute Zelda's indifferent as to whether its words mean anything or not, then you should definitely consider contacting me with your supporting or refuting evidence, opinions, personal stories, etc., so that I can make a better argument in my next letter.