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Originally Posted by LionHarted
After my first re-reading upon publishing, I must say I was at first inclined to agree with you, but then I looked back at why I wrote it that way. The Master of all (symbolic of the monotheistic God) gave the goddesses specific directions as to what he wanted the world to be, and described in no uncertain terms the level of quality he wanted them to acheive, so a higher level of descriptive adjectives, more verbose and even a little fluffy, were needed to convey this.
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The style also functions as being 'mythic' - stately and distant. Works well.
I'm a little cold on the idea of a 'Master' god, especially because it makes the three goddesses seem like daughters who need a father's direction. Rings false, to me.
But whatever - it's your story, and you still write as well as ever.
