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Old 01-07-2006, 09:14 PM
Szerenade Canada Szerenade is offline
Sage of Wisdom
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
View Posts: 1,167
Re: Circumstancial Inspirations

Welcome to Misc. Writing, Andúrhil!
Your poems are wonderful! I don't think you should doubt yourself.

"Found":
I like the way you describe the blue eyes in the first stanza, but not mention them until the sixth. It kept me wondering where the blue-ness came from.
Nice contrast on the notions of what is "lost" and what is "found".

"The End":
This is my favourite of the three. I especially enjoyed the following lines:
Quote:
Broken kingdom of dreams
Shattered illusions of peace
Crushed hopes of understanding
Endless void of confrontation
Your combinations of adjectives and nouns are rich and masterful. They add great depths of beauty and darkness to the first four stanzas, and I like how the swelling mood of those stanzas taper towards the end.

"Hell":
The first stanza calls for a certain savageness that lingers throughout the poem. It was somewhat surprising for me to find that the poem's actually about something rather ordinary. What you describe is so true.
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