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Old 08-08-2005, 01:24 AM
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Hylian Knight
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USA
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Re: This is the prologue...

Pretty interesting. Reminds me of the intro to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. That guy died too.

A few grammatical errors here and there (wrong: it's dog. right: its dog. wrong: its raining. right: it's raining.) and the word he was used a little too much to start off sentences, but other than that it was written pretty well.

I do have to point out that the cities can not be in the clouds, thousands of miles over the Earth's surface. If I remember correctly, the Earth's atmosphere ends at mile 6.
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