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Nice story. Though I will say you forgot the rating and what type of story it is. Another thing though dark elves? Come on...Those have been in so many diffrent things. Where i've seen is in DnD called drow. Black skin white hair. Try somthing a bit more creative reamber go big this your story. Well can't wait to see more.
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Yes, Dark Elves have been in many things but so have other creatures and I like the idea of Dark Elves and I don't feel the need to replace them with anyother creature, they fit the bill for me. Thanks for your opinion.