That was very cool Milhouse! However, it'd probably be easier to read if it were seperated in lines. Than again, perhaps the lack of lines helps signify chaos, and it's like that on purpose. Hehe, it was still cool. The rhythym could use some work, as there are some lines that are either too short or to long, but overall, it's a very nice poem. The two lines I particularly noticed didn't fit with the rhythym were
"Feel yourself slip into the cold dark shadows where evil lurks.
Who ever thought youd be a part of these crazy quirks?"
They go great together, both being similar length, but in the poem overall they don't really seem to fit. I'd love to read more of your work!
