Fan script for a metroid movie

This is the first scene from my script for a metroid movie. Copright and all that stuff blah blah. Hunters Vengence is only the working title. All tech based on Metroid Prime.

Metroid
Hunter’s Vengence
First Draft by Fireball
EXT. Space
We open with a ship slowing down as it enters a distant solar system. We see it pass a gas giant and its moons and move on to what appears to be an astroid field. However as it gets closer we see that none of this debris is organic rock one piece has a name and registration number on it, “Wolf CSV.359”. The ship we meet at the start of this sequence draws to a stop near the debris. Slowly rising out of the dorsal airlock we see the figure of SAMUS ARAN full suited in her varia suit (The best colouration of her modular power suit). Jets mounted on the back of the suit fire and she moves into the wreckage of the Wolf, a civilian scientific research vessel. (This shall be unknown to Samus until later).

INT. Inside the suit looking out
We see various readouts on the inside of samus’ visor. A small targeting reticle pinpoints something further on in the debris.

Female Voice of the suit’s computer. (Here on revered to as Suit’s computer)
Black box device detected. Scans indicate power failure to device. Suggest retrieval of device.

Samus
Damn. (Under her breath)

EXT. The debris field
With the firing of her jets Samus moves towards the black box. When she reaches it she attaches it to a part of her suit that has become magnetized, this is indicated by the Suit’s computer. Samus then proceeds with her scans.

INT. The suit looking out through the visor.

Suit’s computer
Blast patterns and radiation residue indicate pirate attack destroyed this vessel.

Samus (to her self)
But why attack a civilian vessel? They are quite capable of destroying military ships for their needs.

The display on the visor indicates a message from her ship.

Ship’s computer (an electronic male voice)
Passive scans indicate pirate bio-form closing in on your position, further scans indicates it as bio-form 1 in the pirate data-base.

Samus
****, Riddley!

She turns to face him and as she does the visor readout changes to combat mode.
EXT. Space
We see the pirate know as Riddley sweep towards the debris of the Wolf. He zero’s in on Samus’ position. Samus kicks off a piece of debris she was holding onto and fires her arm cannon which is currently set on power beam. A few shots hit Riddley but he is unfazed. Samus kicks of another piece of debris as she does so she flips and the soles of her boots magnetize and she gets connected to a piece of debris about 200 metres long. She runs along it with Riddley in pursuit, when she reaches the end her soles de-magnetize and her thrusters’ fire launching her to space. Samus turns around as she does so and fires small missiles as she does so. One hits Riddley in the shoulder with enough force to send him crashing towards a piece of debris roughly twice his size. Samus uses this chance to hit a button marked retrieve on part of her arm cannon that has just flipped around, her ship moves down of the screen.

INT. The suit.
Samus quickly switches the visor to scan mode, the targeting reticle locates something.

Suit’s computer
Caution flammable substance g-15, sub-light engine fuel. Weapons fire may cause explosion.

Samus
Good

EXT. Space
We see Samus’ arm cannon charge and five mini-missiles get deposited into this charge. The charge is released and the energy hurtles towards the canisters containing the substance. It hits, and there is a massive explosion. The shock wave hits both Samus and Riddley. It shocks Riddley and sends him tumbling into the void of space; it sends Samus into a tumble away from the debris field. She tries to control the tumble with the suit’s thrusters. Then her ship rockets onto screen a 90 degree angle to the bottom of the screen and she lands on the dorsal airlocks platform which is magnetized. Feet first of course. The platform recedes into the small craft and the outer doors close.

INT. The ship.
The inner airlock doors, a clear tube containing the platform, opens and Samus steps out and removes her helmet, flipping her Charlie’s angel style as she does. She notices some damage to the helmet and to her arm cannon.

Thats a cool idea but there a couple of things wrong forst off i dont think there should be swearing and i dont like the bit about the charlies angel hair thing.

I shall take your fed back into consideration. I think the second swearing can go but I think the damn is needed. The charles angel thing was kind of a joke when I wrote it so not that nessecary. My younger brother keeps on bugging me about she should spend the whole movie in the armour, taking the helmet off at the end. But I need her out of the suit for some dramatic scences.

nah, a 'damn' so early would give parents the wrong impression...wouldn't let us kids watch it. I'm not too much of a fan of the '****' part either, I mean, would Samus cuss?

Right, Be aware this is of course only the first draft. I believe that the two words shall be deleted in further drafts. I do not have another swear word in the rest of the fifteen pages I have written so far. I am guessing your parents consider violence is okay as long as the children do not have potty mouths.

Remember that in 'ET', one of the best regarded family films of all time, '****' is used early on, and the words 'penis-breath' were memorable.

Also here in Australia we have this kids T.V. show that can get away with saying crap at 8 o'clock in the morning. And a morning news program almost got away with saying the word f***wit.

This is really something; I made a Metroid script a while ago. Kinda sucked, but it was a start.
Seems pretty good; I would understand an occasional swear from Samus, though I'd save most of it for Adam Malkovich, if you decide to include him.

Not bad. I won't mention the Cussing because it's already been said.
Also, do'nt jump right into things. The casual movie-goer will just be confused.

Adam Malkovich shall not appear in this film because at the moment it is set in between super metroid and fusion. Hmm.. jumping into things. I cannot see how I can start a metroid movie any other way.

Here is another extract from somewhere around scene 10. It concerns the death of her parents.

INT. Samus house
Young Samus awakes to the sounds of alarms and is scared. Her mother comes through the door.

Samus’ Mother
Samus we have to go (she picks Samus up and leaves the room).

EXT. The streets are filled with panicking people running in one direction away from weapons fire. Samus’ farther comes running down the street, he is holding an energy pistol. He comes up to Samus and her mother.

Samus’ Father
It’s the pirates; we got to get to the space port. The rest of the security personnel from this area are dead we have to move.

They rush off following the other people. The pirates come and start breaking into houses.

EXT. The space port
People are desperately running to any ships on the massive concrete landing pad that is the spaceport. A massive silhouette in the shape of a dragon flies over as it turns around we see that the creature is Riddley. He hurls an energy bomb towards the ground it explodes and sends people scurrying everywhere. Other space pirates on the ground case these people. Samus’ Family comes into the space port through and area filled with cargo containers. Riddley swoops down and lands right in front of them.

Samus’ Mother
Great Riddley Scott

Riddley
No my name is just Riddley, but I like the sound of the great.

Samus’ mother ducks behind some crates with Samus. Samus’ farther fires a few rounds from his energy gun the shots blue light lights up the air around it.

Riddley
Pathetic human.

He swipes away Samus father with his hand then hurls a ball of flame toward the prone body. This kills the valiant man.
Samus’ Mother
Go find somewhere to hide from the monsters sweet mummy will be right with you.

Samus runs and hides in a run down shuttle craft that has been left near all this cargo, the shuttle has the name Scott enterprises written on it. Her mother meanwhile spots were her husband’s gun was dropped. She rolls from behind the boxes and picks it up as she does. She fire at Riddley as she gets up this draws his attention away from the people he had begun chasing. They get to a ship but are shot down by a pirate fighter when they try to leave.

Riddley
You will pay for that human.

His tail wraps around her throat.

Samus’ Mother
Be safe… Samus….

She dies; Riddley turns to one of his troops

Riddley
Trooper, this one had a child. Find it, and then kill it. It cannot have gotten far.

Trooper
Yes sir, commander Riddley.

The trooper moves off but passes Samus hiding place. He meets up with another trooper only a little further on.

Trooper 2
What you doing?

Trooper 1
Looking for some kid commander Riddley wants me to kill.

Trooper 2
Just tell the commander you’ve done it already, soon be dead now that this place destroyed anyway.

Trooper 1
I suppose this way I get my rations quicker.

They move off and Samus falls into a fretful sleep.

Fade out

Not bad considering I based it solely on this picture.


Please share your thoughts on this scene and wether I have done it right.

I cant see the picture. Its sounds alright I guess but I really think you should not show her face until the very end. Like if you want to show her face show a hazy reflection in her visor like in prime.

Right here's the pic in the attachment

Wow, sounds like a great idea, good thing I searched for Metroid today. Would have hated myself for missing out on reading this. Hope they actually make it.

I shall make it with my own money if I must.

i think if you're majing a script based on metroid prime, you should use the swearing, not as often like in south park but you know what i mean, so they won't think it's a kiddy movie, it should be aimed to a pre-teenage/adult audience, so the swearing isn't really a problem to me.

Dear newb it is not based on only metroid prime, but the entire series. In fact the only references to metroid prime so far is that the tech is based on it and a space pirate scientist is continuing some expriments that the pirates conducted on talon IV. I only have swearing in that opening scene so far I only did it when samus is fighting Riddley. Also it is doubtful that people will consider it a kids movie considering the kind of death Samus' mother has, have you even read any of my posts?

ok, my bad...

Samus
Damn. (Under her breath)
under her breath? - yeah right...

lol nice job i would help you if i could