Thread: [Poetry] Poems
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Old 06-28-2012, 06:43 PM
MorbidDelight United States MorbidDelight is offline
Twili
Join Date: Dec 2011
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Re: Poems

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redthir View Post
I like it. It's well structured and my gut feeling is that if you made another poem it would be better. The poem flows a lot better than many I've read.
Thank you; I tend to like structured poetry, or at least in regards to writing it, than free verse just because I find free verse to be much more difficult in terms of still making it sound 'good.'

Anyways, I wrote this one in unrhymed iambic tetrameter (not sure if blank verse exclusively applies to iambic pentameter)

Aphotic Wasteland


I met you downstairs beneath the
expanding haze of words and you
were only there when entropy
stayed high, leaving whenever it
started to drop, for months on end

Ended up deciding to stick
around once you figured out that
your solace was crumbling; yes, you
faltered to turn when you felt that
just not enough mind was there then

Whether turned to be genuine,
I'm not entirely sure, yet I
suspect motives remained to be
lightless, yet it remained hidden
till you wanted to present it

The sun went down for me as well
but in a different way than yours
you assisted in it's quick fall;
offering tainted advice and
taking my sanity with yours

I traveled back to the ancient
place; aphotic wasteland, there I
went, falling in the endless pit,
but you helped take away that which
would have helped catch me, so I fell-
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