Slend focused.

"hey, what?" the little screen on the camera had blinked out. "how did he...?"

Charlie's torso and abdomen stretched unnaturally, followed by his legs and neck. His arms grew into long, tentacle-like extremities, impossibly long and sinuous. All facial features bar his mouth faded into seamless flesh, and bizarre sinewy tendrils sprouted from his back.

"ah, hell..." muttered the vampire as both thugs went for their guns. He wasn't fast enough, however, and a tentacle-arm coiled around his body, thorny barbs digging into his skin.

Charlie cracked his tentacle like a whip, and the man rose into the air before being slammed back down into the ground at an appreciable fraction of the speed of sound. He went to do it again, but the other thug shot at him, the slug hitting his shoulder square on.

Charlie took a step towards the darkest wall in the alley.

And then a step INTO the darkest wall in the alley.

"Oh no, oh no oh no oh no..." the man pointed his gun at the shadows, but they were all around him. His aim flitted from darkness to darkness. "Tinkles said, he expressly said not to let him get into a shadow, and what did I do? I let him..."

A spindly hand on the end of a scarily long tentacle-arm plucked his gun from his hand.

"thank you." Charlie shot him in the back. "I really appreciate your total lack of competency."

The vampire, winded and broken but not even close to dead, dive-tackled him, his unnatural strength pulling the larger monster to the ground. He held on tight, but Charlie just somehow, impossibly, squirmed free almost instantly, his body twisting and flowing like it was made of taffy.

The tentacle arms snaked down and wound around the vampire, hoisting him up as they coiled around and around, holding him fast. Charlie lifted him up into the air, and leaned in close like he had before.

This time, all pretense of the polite businessman was gone, and the only facial feature, a circular, needle-fanged mouth, stank of death and utmost horror.

"I've torn vampires to shreds."

The arms began to shift, working back and forth across the vampire. The barbs flayed his clothes away, then his skin, and finally his muscles, leaving only a bloody skeleton, still very much alive.

Charlie licked the blood from his arms, and transformed back.

"I do not exaggerate, my good man."

He stepped out of the alley.

The were the clacks of seventeen disengaging safeties, and he found himself staring down the same number of mafia gun barrels.

"I'm going to see the don, am I right?"

The men nodded.