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01-16-2012, 12:39 PM
Have you ever died and thought to yourself: "Why am I still thinking?"
Join Date: Feb 2005
Re: Hugo Grym
Alright, nice changes, but now you've seemed to have added a couple other strengths since I last read this. You need to leave room for failure in everything he does. As I mentioned before, make sure you leave room for mistakes in his marksmanship. Instead of describing the only way he'll miss a target, just say that he
never misses his target. “there’s not a single lock he can’t pick ” is another example of one. I know he's a master of clockwork, but what if he encounters a lock that uses technology he'd never encountered before? What if he's in a sci-fi setting and the lock is digital? Again, this might seem like a nitpick, and I'm sorry for that, but it's these little details that you'll no doubt run into at some point and need to correct later anyhow.
I'm going to have to ask for another weakness too, mostly because his speed isn't at all what I expected. If he can move that fast and that quickly, he needs some sort of a drawback. Also “clumsy with large weapons” doesn't seem like much of a weakness to me, since he'll most likely just never use large weapons then.
That's like saying my gun-slinging space pirate character is terrible with a bow and arrow, which he doesn't own and doesn't use. Maybe add something about his stamina (which I don't think has been mentioned in his profile)? Like... not being able to run at high speeds for too long before tiring himself out? Or maybe he himself has trouble of keeping track of where he's going, or at least keeping track of other things, when moving at high speeds?
Once these two details are addressed, I think he'll be ripe for approval. :]
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