Is This A Dream Or Reality? (Altamira)
View Single Post
) [ ]
04-16-2011, 09:55 PM
The Goofball Gumshoe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Re: Is This A Dream Or Reality? (Altamira)
"Maybe it was because I liked to be with you..." he told me, his normally icy eyes smoldering with intensity as he looked me up and down, making my stomach turn in discomforting knots, "I could take you, you know. If I wanted to. Rape you, that is. Make you mine in every way. I could make you anything I wanted. My little slave. My concubine. My wife, my homemaker. My ****buddy."
My lips wanted to twist into a snarl, my fingers wanted to curl into fists and knock the taste right out of his foul little mouth--I've been told s*** like that far too many times before. Always my first instinct was to make them
those words, to shove my boot so far down their f***ing throats before they knew what hit them that they couldn't even choke out a cry for mercy. I'm not meat. Not prey. Not a slave. Not any godsdamn more. But like a shackled animal, I was up against one master I couldn't reach. Couldn't bite back at. Or I'd be put down. So I forced down my anger, kept it out of my eyes. Disgust and surprise still made their way into my expression. But the aggression stayed hidden. The retaliation that I just
to bottle up. If you spent too much time around Marcus, it really got to a boiling point.
But then, as thoroughly as ever, he changed the whole tone of the conversation again, hitting me in the heart after he'd just low-blowed my pride as a strong woman like a baseball bat to the crown jewels.
"But I wouldn't do that," he told me. "Because I don't want you like that. I just... like you."
I wasn't sure what to think. A rollercoaster of emotions doesn't really cover it. No rollercoaster takes enough stomach-wrenching turns to compare. Marcus would outdo Six Flags every time, if you wanted to talk disorientation and hurls.
"I like you because I... feel something around you. I feel a sort of... peace. Like... I'm happy."
I just plain gaped.
Yes folks, I know. I am
articulate when it comes to complex feelings. Bear with me here.
There was so much pain in his voice... maybe he was just playing my sympathies like a violin, but a big part of me wanted to believe him. It's the same part Kate probably plays upon when she cries big crocodile tears. Or the same part... the same part of me, rather, that knows what it feels like to be as lonely as he sounded. I've usually... kept someone around for company. I needed to... after losing my dad to prison when I was young... losing Paris when I was older, and Johnny... losing Sonya, who I know I... still have a lot of mother issues with. Sometimes all I had was a friend, like Louis. Sometimes all I had was a man I'd picked out for his good looks and the way he could finesse his fingers on a guitar. I'm thinkin' of you, Erik. Sometimes all I had was a bottle of tequila and a bar that stayed open all night.
Nowadays, I was lucky enough to have Kate, Rain, and Jessi (and even Avello and Laurana) to keep back the coldness of those long, empty nights. Yes, I was going to die, maybe even soon--hell,
soon--and I was going to be stuck forever on my own in the Realm of Shadows as a Spirit. But until then... I had the chance to cherish every precious moment with a family whom I loved, and who loved me in return.
I knew how it felt to be alone. And I thanked the gods every day that I'd been rescued out of the miserable, downward slump I had been in.
"Nothing makes me happy, Cadenza... because nothing is all I have."
I winced at his words, felt myself crossing my arms, as if to keep out the cold that his feelings reminded me of from not long ago. Could... anyone rescue
? The man who could make reality do anything, except maybe give him genuine care?
"You've... never really had a loving family, have you, Marcus...? At least... at least not in a long time..."
It took a lot, but I forced my gaze up from the floor to risk meeting his eyes. I was... okay, I was
about how much more pain I might see there... for all he had done to me and mine over the past year or so, he had been through even worse.
R. I. P. Duke of Clubs (11/15/92 - 1/5/08)
Aikie's Arts Thread
ZU dA group
Battle Arena Tournament: Survival Edition
View Public Profile
Find all posts by Altamira