The changed world.

The moon shattered, The cloudes warped, The grass faded as life disappeared. As the people looked on, The time stood still. And on that the world changed, From happiness and joy, To money and slayn.....

Originally Posted by Linkclone180

The moon shatterd,the clouds warped,the grass faded,and life dissapeared. As the people watchted,the time stood still. On that day the world changed. From magic and joy to money and slay....

You might want to reformat that;

maybe like this?

The moon
shattered
The clouds
warped
The grass
faded
and life
disappeared.
As the people
watched,
Time stood still.
On that day
the world
changed...
from magic
and joy
to money
and slay

Truthfully I like it, very ominous, but sometimes (especially with poetry) how you present your idea, can make it that much more powerful to the reader. (hope you dont mind I corrected a few spelling errors too)

THanks! I'll try to do that

Bu how do you get it all straight like that?