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01-30-2010, 05:20 PM
The Red Hood
Join Date: Mar 2004
No problem. Wonderful job with the weapons.
Now, as for the poisons.
Carried Possessions: He carries with him a small pack with rations, sharpening stones, healing herbs, poisons, spare arrow fletchings and sometimes a hooded cloak.
I see no additions to the poisons. You do mention this in Skills:
He sometimes poisons his arrowtips or knife(with whichever herb or venom that is availible) to soften up larger or heavily armoured opponents or to make monsters easier to track and kill.
But that's not enough. Poisons herbs and venoms are not always available. I'm sure he could forge something if he were luckily enough to find something in his surroundings, but you list it in the Carried Possessions. So I assume he carries poisons will him. You don't have have enough details about the poisons he carries. Name them, their qualities, their affects, and their speed of affectiveness.
>The Crimson Eye - Ability to detect hidden things or life forms at a distance.
Okay, so you list some limits later. But there's somethings missing here. Firstly, what's his range of sight with this ability. Also, exactly what kind of hidden things are we taking about? Only things that are hidden by magic? There can be ways to hide things without magic. So be more specific here.
>The Spelldrinker - Ability to feed on offensive spells cast at him.
So if he is successful with this ability, does he regain magic from the successful feed? What happens to the successfully eaten spell? Is it possible to "over-eat" if the power of a spell is extreme? Also try to include what it looks like for him to produce these magics.
>The Moth-Mirror - Ability to return the effect of offensive spells back to the attacker.
So what's this look like in action? Is it like bouncing it back like tennis? Or does it temporarily aborb and then shot it back out later? More details on the mechanics of this ability.
>The Burning Feast - Ability to feed on an enemy's life or magical energy to restore his own
So what does he need to do to feed on life and magical energy? Does it require skin contact? Just touch? Maybe include how it feels for his victims to have the enery sucked out.
>The Hand of Anshaya - Ability to move objects at a distance.
Later you mention in Limits that this ability has a very limited range. Please give an exact range. And how much can he lift and move?
>The Crystal Heart - Ability to remove magical effects (good or bad) from himself or others.
Does it require touch to dispel? And then there's this:
The Heart of Anshayar is a fickle spell that often produces nothing but a pretty light show.
There's the spell "The Hand of Anshaya" but I see no "Heart of Anshayar". Did you ment The Crystal Heart?
Lastly, his teleportation ability is closely linked to his deity, The Mistress of Mercy, Who uses it to spare his life at whim or place him where she needs his skills.
So does only she control the use of this ability? He can't activate it himself? Can he "request" it? If so, how? Be clearer about this one.
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