Good job! I definitely see improvement and I'm curious to see where you're going with it.

My one suggestion would be to try not to tell things to your readers, show it to them. For example instead of saying 'Link loves Marin;' show the reader how he holds the door for her as they leave the house, carries her towel to the beach for her, looks away when she undresses and jumps in the water, and when she has trouble getting a stray piece of hair out of her face he comes over and helps her wipe it away. It's your story so show it in the way that appeals to you.

You can show the heights of love or the depths of hate all by the way a character interacts with the people around them and by showing instead of telling you will go a long way towards hooking and maintaining your reader's interest.

You've got a good start at this in the first chapter keep up the good work.