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04-26-2009, 05:56 PM
I got my head checked by a jumbo jet.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Asylum
Alright, much better. But there are still things to work on.
You say he can store energy in one of his swords to use later. I need you to explain how he does that exactly, and what abilities the sword has when charged up.
What do you mean by "condense" things with his mind? About his teleporting ability, you have to explain how powerful it is and what its limitations are. Also, what does the compass ability do? Does he instinctively know where North is? And also, more information on his Subrosian stealth.
Strengths and weaknesses still need work, and you're missing the personality section.
Just a whisper, I hear it in my ghost...
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