You need to reword it. The overall idea of what you have is good, but if you are writing a formal essay the overall format needs to be much more detailed and structured.
Try starting the first sentence with "During a time of great need .... bla blah blah." What was the Treaty of Versailles and why did the Germans have to pay money? To who? What is Hitler Youth? Don't jump into things, explain them to the reader. You have to assume your educating them, you can't expect them to know what your talking about already.
A good place to find RESOURCES is Wikipedia or Britannica Online. Meaning don't look at what is said on the site and copy that. Use it to find OTHER sources, as everything on Wiki needs to be cited. At the bottom of the article there will be links and books you should look into. The best location is probably your school library/local library. Or even better a local college/university one.
If you don't know how to use the search system/need help finding things just try asking one of the librarians. They are there to help.
You're on the right track you just need a little bit of refining is all.
