Title: Tree Shade: Self-proclaimed Master of Insanity
Theme Song:
"Always happy to quell the evil doers!"
Oldness: Tree Shade doesn’t have an age, simply because he exists in the realm between times and dimensions. He’s immortal in the sense that, despite the fact he can die, life always returns to him. It’s not known how many times he’s died, but it’s known that he won’t stop coming back.
Species: He has not a race, but is a race in his own. Something of an unknown design and purpose, or rather a purpose and design forged to suit his own wills and desires… however strange that may be. When asked, “What are you?” He responds, “ Why, I’m a Hypocrite”.
Girliness: Male. His masculinity is boasted through his mere existence.
Fuzziness: His hair is red, a dark and vicious shade of blood. It dances outward from his skull, then down the back of his head, fraying away from his scalp slightly in a strange downward array of spikes that ends just about just above his shoulders.
Apart from his locks, the Magnificent Tree Shade has a forked goatee. It’s about four inches long and emerges from his chin in two spikes, both the same color and from the same ethnic background.
Globules: Tree’s eyes are a rather odd thing. Instead of having whites-of-his-eyes, they’re more blacks-of-his-eyes than anything. Where the white should be in a normal person’s eyeball is black, while where his pupil and iris should be is a mere circle of white. They’re inverted, opposite that of yours and mine.
Heaviness: Roughly 150 pounds on the dot… if you were to get him to step on a scale somehow, you’d understand.
Distance from the Ground: 6 feet, 6 inches, and 6 hairs short of the mark of the beast.
Tools of the Trade:
Cane
This pimpin’ stick triples as a weapon, a grandma smacker, and a stylish walking stick. It’s made completely out of silver, though partially out of diamond. It’s a white bar, approximately two and a half feet long with a pretty curved hook on the end. Its construction is weird in the sense that it isn’t smooth, as normal canes usually are, but instead has random spikes and pointy sections that seem to leave painful gashes in the wielder’s hands, though somehow its design has an aesthetically pleasing look to it. However, because the Cane is bound to him, the Impervious Tree Shade is unaffected by these pointy sections. How convenient, eh? It happens to be that wherever our Marvelous Tree Shade grabs the Cane, the spikes retreat back into the Cane’s construction. Quite the meaningless fact, but it’s still a detail everyone should know… just for fun.
Monocle
What? What’s that on his eye? Is it the tip of a spoon? No, it’s a monocle. Though not really needed because of faulty eyesight, this little eyepiece has other uses. This monocle, though classy, is quite the deadly thing. Its gold rimmed border and sparkling crystal lens may appear to be signs of a mere elegant eyeglass, when in reality this monocle is something to be feared.
This piece of corrective lensory holds a wee bit of power, compared to Tree’s overall greatness, having the ability to fire a constant beam of incendiary energy. This laser can reach temperatures of “really hot”, able to melt iron on contact.
Top Hat
Atop his red-headed scalp sits a hat, a top hat fitted for its rightful rule of the master of all hats. The enormous ego this hat boasts threatens Tree’s own, a dreadful and selfish being, inanimate and adamant to being bound to him.
The Top Hat looks like an ordinary Top Hat, only it’s much more awesome looking. It’s tall and stands proudly on Tree’s head. Several black and white striped bandages wrap around the midsection of it, the excess portions waving freely in the wind alongside it. It’s tattered and appears to show some age, but it’s still a magnificent piece of clothing. Why is it so magnificent? Well, the tatters themselves shouldn’t even exist, seeing how this top hat is indestructible. Why it can’t be destroyed isn’t quite known, but it at least survives battles easy enough.
On the topmost top of the top hat’s top is a series of small circles, barely noticeable unless closely inspected. While the circles may not look to be much more than an insignificant pattern, they’re actually mystical barrels with which enchanted bullets can fire from by a simple thought from the wearer. Since there’s thirteen of these circles, thirteen bullets fire at a time.
This hat doesn’t seem to come free from Tree’s head easily. It’s almost as if the hat is bolted to his head. However, whenever he attempts to, Tree can remove the hat with no problem.
Pipe
Nothing special about this one: It’s just an average, ordinary pipe. It’s black and gold, if that’s special enough for you. However, Tree tends to smoke a whole bunch of random things. He’ll basically smoke anything he can get his hands on, as long as it makes smoke, so if you’re smelling something odd… it’s not the pipe’s fault so don’t blame it.
Powerfulness:
The Almighty Tree Shade has great power, power so immense and amazing it instills fear in the hearts of the fearless and makes cowards of the brave!
His primary strength is his mind. He’s highly intelligent, even amidst his insanity. However, he’s also quite unpredictable. It’s never quite known what he’s going to do next. He could save a family from certain death, but kill them all the next second. He’s unstable and could turn on his friends or join forces with his enemies at the most inconvenient of times. While this might not seem to be strength, it keeps everyone on their toes and they’re never quite sure what to expect. Even people who can read minds have trouble because whenever a mind reading is attempted, Tree Shade can see their mind in turn. Usually, he just projects a volley of dirty words (such as ****, ****, ****, etc). However, half the time (instead of foul language) he’ll show them disturbing images, such as fields of dead puppies and kittens. How filthy.
Tree’s other main strength is his wide range of mystical abilities and how he uses them. He’s a master of what he does and he does those things masterfully. Sometimes his powers get the better of him, being somewhat unwieldy at times, but usually he’s got them under control.
Though Tree barely has any sort of defensive capabilities, he has an extremely high tendency to not die. He can get the tar beat out of him and he’ll take it without crying. He feels pain, for sure, but he doesn’t seem to know how to show it. Sometimes he’ll show pain only for the mere sake of showing it, mostly as a mockery. However, he simply just doesn’t know how to react to pain.
Wimpyness:
What? The Undefeatable Tree Shade having a weakness? The nerve of such a thought is preposterous! … Ok, so Tree does have a few weaknesses.
Tree’s unpredictability can put himself at risk a great deal of the time. For instance, sometimes he may feel like losing a fight for no particular reason. Other times, he might feel the need to inflict self harm just to get a laugh out of someone, even if the person laughing doesn’t even exist. Other times, he may just make foolish decisions for the mere thrill of an undesirable outcome. The way Tree’s mind works clashes with that of the human race, no one can rightfully understand, much less empathize with him.
As far as physical strengths and weaknesses go, Tree is average. These traits aren’t his strong point and he can easily be beaten up by a stronger individual.
His second biggest weakness, and probably his third as well, is his reluctance to defend himself. He’s rarely ever on the defensive, even if he’s not attacking. Most of the time he just lets the attack hit him. However, his insane amount of endurance lets him put up with quite a beating before calling it quits. Still, due to lack of physical strength, he can be easily bound and confined.
Mysticalities:
Time Wield
Never used in battle, Tree can wield time like a toy. However, in order to stop, rewind, or jump forward in time, Tree has to focus his power on the technique for a full sixty minutes without using any of his other abilities. If attempting to move more than just himself through time, he can only do so within a four mile radius. He can’t control anything shorter or longer than that distance. It’s always everything within four miles. Despite this, he can send himself through time no problem, given he charges his energy for that full hour. So he only has two choices when it comes to this: Travel alone, or travel with the surrounding four miles. It’s one of those strange laws of time travel you’ll never fully comprehend.
However, though he’s very capable of time traveling, the laws of time prevent him to change anything in the past that he’s already affected. If he wishes to change something that has happened to him, he simply can’t. His desire will freeze and his hand stayed. He can’t even meet with himself at any point in time. This is a slightly frightening thought to Tree because he knows that eventually he’s going to run out of time he can travel. Still, the key is to simply remain cautious.
Hat Gun
Tree’s Top Hat has thirteen, barely visible gray circles on the top of its structure. These circles aren’t ordinary circles, however, because they can fire bullets. While highly inaccurate due to the angle he has to bend his head to fire, this attack rarely misses at point blank range because of the thirteen bullets it fires simultaneously.
Effective, yes, but before he can fire again Tree must fill his hat with sand, the material the bullets require in order to be subconsciously formed within his hat. All this takes is the removal of his top hat, followed by a blast from his Sand Vision power into its interior.
Sand Vision
Tree has the power to fire bursts of sand from his eyes at high speed. He can fire this into the eyes of his enemies, temporarily blinding them, or use it to sandblast something that might need… sandblasting. He can also make a nice pile of sand for anyone who wants to make a sandcastle, or for any ants who want to make an anthill. His Sand Vision never runs out of juice, much like a human’s tears, so there’s always enough sand for everyone. Still, like human’s tears, too much crying results in dry eyes. In Tree’s case, it results in wet eyes. When that happens he merely needs to wait a bit before they dry out again. This only happens if he’s using a heck-of-a-lot of sand.
Sizzlin’ Glory
Tree’s monocle has the ability to fire a constant beam of red, incendiary energy. This laser can reach blazing temperatures, burning through weaker materials like wood and flesh. It can get hot enough to melt metal, but the construction of the monocle only allows short bursts of anything that scorching, a long pause between bursts depending on the heat. The extremely hot, border lining sun temperature, require to be charged for several minutes first. The resulting blast is a quick flash, but extremely deadly upon contact.
Glass Beam
Combining the power of his Sand Vision and Sizzlin’ Glory, Tree uses both at the same time. The insane temperatures Sizzlin’ Glory reaches melts the sand in midair almost instantly, forming an airborne stream of glass that slices through things it crashes into, shattering and sending pointy doom in all directions. Though the heat required for Sizzlin’ Glory to melt the sand is quite high, the sand seems to cool the temperature of the energy beam the moment the two materials make contact. This allows for longer streams of glass and for the technique to be used more often, but the end result means that the glass isn’t blazing hot.
Oil Heave
Possibly the cure to our oil crisis, Oil Heave allows Tree to vomit hot, sticky oil on anything that happens to be within ten feet of his mouth upon throwing up. The oil is hot, causing very mild burns (more like rashes) and irritations. However, this oil is highly flammable, so you might not want to take an oil bath in this stuff.
Oil Heaving makes Tree feel a little sick after each use. He can use this technique in rapid succession, but the more he uses it, the longer it takes for him to fully recuperate. On average, after each heave, it takes about ten seconds for him to be fully functional again, much like anyone would after blowing chunks.
Hot Birdie
Though not extremely deadly, Tree can generate a short burst of fire from his middle fingers. It only reaches about a foot or so, not very far, so all it’s really useful is for lighting his pipe, igniting oil, and flipping people off.
Freezing Pinky
Unlike Hot Birdie, Freezing Pinky is quite deadly. It squirts a thin stream of freezing liquid from Tree’s pinky fingers. This foreign liquid instantly freezes on contact with anything it touches. It’s handy for freezing people in place, putting out fires, or quickly refrigerating beers. Though it causes mild freezer burn and the lowering of your blood temperature, possibly slowing your heart if frozen for too long, it doesn’t cause any permanent damage to your skin. It’s a little strange because it doesn’t give you frostbite, but it still has the sensation of an unbearable chill that hurts all the more the longer you’re exposed to it.
Antimatter Blast
Using his handy dandy Cane, Tree can fire a burst of antimatter from the base of it. It’s a black stream of nothingness that tears through almost anything, wreaking havoc on all physical objects. However, antimatter seems to have a mind of its own. It doesn’t do what it wills, but it seems to detect if it’s hitting inanimate matter, or sentient life. It’ll tear a hole through a wall, a tree, and a deer, but when striking an intelligent being it merely pelts them through the air with the strength of nothing more than a shockwave and a punch to the stomach. Although it doesn’t tear holes through sentient life, that doesn’t mean that it’s ok to prance through its steam whenever you feel like it. As far as Tree can tell, it creates a mini-paradox that threatens to delete you from reality, but instead just throws you really far back through the air, causing mild burns and an upset stomach. See your doctor if you begin to show signs of increased aging or unwarranted rabies.
Antimatter is not appropriately named. It actually seems to have existence of some kind. Tree hasn’t fully explored the power of this so-called antimatter, but he still finds its basic uses useful and entertaining, to say the least.
Falling
Mistaken as flight, Tree Shade can fall in any direction he desires. He uses this much like flying; only it’s not as clean and fancy as ordinary flying. The laws of gravity don’t seem to apply to him because he can literally change the direction and force of gravity on his person. This allows him to not only fly, but walk up walls and ceilings. It can be a bizarre and frightening sight seeing him fall towards you at maximum velocity, cane craned back for a strike.
Falling can be a bit difficult to properly control. Tree still crashes from time to time, even though he’s had this ability for a long while.
Gravity Bite
If Tree Shade were to bite you, he’d have the power to control your personal gravity for a brief time, much like he does with himself with his falling ability. It’s a rather scary thing to see a man such as Tree to take a bite out of you, but it’s a little scarier to actually feel and experience. Too bad your fear only increases when you realize you’re falling into outer space. However, Tree doesn’t typically like the taste of people, but his unpredictability may change his reluctance to bite you. There’s no telling if he actually wants to kill you, either. Even if he bites you, has control of your gravity, he might not do much more than play around with you a bit.
Death
Tree Shade can die, much like any other person, but he’ll just come back to life mere minutes later. However, when death kicks him out and back onto earth, he doesn’t receive all his power back in a flash. He returns much the same way he was when he died, but slowly he recuperates his energy as anyone would after being severely injured. This brings about much frustration to those trying to get rid of him, yet much satisfaction to those who enjoy seeing him in pain.
Beyond the benefits, after each death, something in Tree’s mind is lost. Every time he dies, it seems his mind drifts a little further away from itself. He’s slowly losing his mind, going insane, and after each death it grows more radical.
Looks and Physique:
Tree Shade certainly has a particular class about him. At first appearance, he’d seem to be a very attractive young man with a stylish taste in hats. His classy monocle and pimping Cane would drive most woman to attraction. However, no one in their right state of mind would want to be any closer to this man than a stranger.
As said above, he looks classy and fancy at first glance, but at the same time he seems rugged and out of place. He looks as if he were a hobo who robbed a proper gent, stole his clothes, and tore them up, only to stitch them back together again. His brown jacket is large and falling apart, his black undershirt also frayed and torn. His tan pants are in pretty bad shape, riddled with holes and patches, as well as several tears and a bunch of grass stains.
Overall, he’s just an odd thing to look at. Every article of his clothing looks to be from a different time period, but somehow matches in a strange way.
Traits and Mannerisms:
Tree Shade is an unpredictable entity. His mind is definitely not all in one place as it tends to stray from one thing to another quiet fast. He can be extremely happy one moment, but explode in anger the next. As far as emotions go some would consider him bipolar, but he’s in complete control of his emotions. He knows what he’s doing when he’s changing his mind on a whim, but to others he just seems to be losing his mind.
By default, Tree seems to be a serious person. He has manners, despite the fact he tends to get names wrong. He doesn’t seem jocular in the least bit and appears to be fairly lucid (other than his choice of clothing) by first impression. This all goes away the moment Tree Shade’s mind gets turning. He has a way of thinking that disrupts his surroundings, alienating everyone who isn’t clued in to his current plan. He speaks in riddles and metaphors a great deal of the time, usually none of them making any sense. He cracks jokes that only he can understand, and he laughs at things other people would find disturbing.
His overall goal is unknown. Some say he wants power, others say he wants to destroy the world, yet others say he’s trying to save the world. Some people just think he’s crazy, others think it’s all an act. Whatever the case is, he seems to consider all of existence a huge game. A game where the only rules are the ones he makes up.
HisStory:
Fear the day when the wise man follows the fool. That is the day that the human race will fail. That is the day when man will die.
That day has already passed. It’s human nature to follow the fools of this world. It’s a horrible truth, one that shouldn’t be overlooked. It’s the screaming truth of this world.
If the fools lead the wise and the wise hang their heads, if the strong are held back by the weak, and if the good are restrained by the wicked, shouldn’t the world do something about it? Yes it should, but it doesn’t. No, the world has failed. The world ended ages ago, before it passed its chance to be saved. Now the entire planet is so far-gone that nothing we do can save it. It’s all a joke, a big practical joke. No one will ever save a world that’s so lost in its own filth that nothing makes sense anymore. No one will live longer than what their mortal body can take. No fool, no idiot, no human whose mind is a playground for sin can withstand the nature of themselves for longer than their own lifespan. No mortal body made of darkness deserves life. No one of this earth will live.
No one, save for me.
I’ve lived on this planet from day one to day zero. I’ve seen it all, the beginning and climax. The end is a bit hazy for I cannot travel that far, but the rest is a blatant sign of their imminent destruction. The moment of the first murder set a chain reaction in mankind. Soon murder became an everyday thing. People died by the minute. As the planet’s population grew, the death toll increased. No one noticed the reason for this, but it was obvious it was the fault of the human race.
At first, with my power, I tried to save it. I tried to grab the human race as it slipped through my grasp. I tried, I really did, but nothing I did changed the future the way it needed to be changed. Every time I tried to help, it would only deteriorate further.
I’m done with it. I’m done trying to clean up their mistakes. There’s no point in trying to keep the human race alive anymore, it’s doomed to die again and again until it is dead for eternity. Their mortal deaths only continue to increase, their immortal souls dying forever.
And yet… they intrigue me. I’m not a part of them any longer, but I still have a certain fondness for them. It’s like a separate part of my being I can’t differentiate from my other half. I care for these beings still, despite my growing hatred for them. Could it be that some are actually good enough to inherit eternal life like I have? I’ve died a million times over, but I’ve still lived on. Am I any better than them, dying over and over again the same way they are?
It’s a chilling thought and I’d rather not dwell on it. I’m not as filthy as them; I’ve not stooped to their lows. I’ve seen them through all of their phases in this realm, so now I’ll venture into the other realms. This dimension is a failed one, down the drain in its own muck. But are the others any better? Maybe somewhere out there in that vast plain of universes is a version of the human race that isn’t a failure. I’ve wondered this many times, so now I think it’s high time I find out.
Time is relative, but the aging time of my body has transformed me. I’m no longer the kind man I once was and I can feel my mind slowly slipping away. I don’t know how much longer I can take, but I feel dead inside. I’ve not done anything wrong to deserve this, like the humans have, but I feel like I’m aging rapidly on the inside. I feel weaker by the day, but at the same time I feel stronger. It’s an odd feeling, on the inside. I’m going to have to wait and see what’s happening to me. But… until then, I’m going to search this omniverse for the hope of humankind. Somewhere on the inside, there has to be something.
No other race of beings fascinates me as much as they do. It’d be a horrendous shame if they died off in the shade. I’ll do what I must to protect them because I’ve seen the light in their hearts, though it’s rarely ever pure. Maybe if I kill the dirty ones….
The Tree of life has a shadow. With life comes death, a penalty for our transgressions. I am that shadow. I beg for the human race to right themselves, but they laugh and turn away. Why do they turn? I’ve tried to make them laugh through my deteriorating mind, but when they chuckle it’s in painful mockery. Why do they torment me so? Why do they always get the last laugh in their dying life?
Well, HA HA! I laugh back. I can fight back in my own way. If they refuse life, then I will give them death. Those who I find worthy will live, but those who I find worthy will die. No matter what I think, the human race is a failure. The good ones die because of their darkness and the bad ones live because of their darkness. The shadow of the light is the darkness I choose, this painful eternal life of mine. Though they’ve reached for the fruit of the tree of life, they fell short in their own shortcomings. They grow shorter and shorter, this world’s days. They refuse the tree, but lie in the shade, laughing at the air that chokes them.
Though they want life, they won’t get it because they won’t reach out for it. The fools cry out, “Let me live!” But I shake my head and tell them, “Why?” The fools don’t understand the meaning of life, or even how to live. I am one of those fools, dying with them, which is why I must find this a painful task. I wanted them to live on, I truly did, but it was all in vein at last. There are no wise men. The fools will perish forever and always, beneath the tree shade. Beneath me.
Yes.
Adventures:
Shades of Adam (Dropped)
Remind Me To Burn This Map (In Progress)
Pavement, Pavement Everywhere and Not A Spot To Park (In Progress)