View Single Post
  #105 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 07-29-2008, 05:22 PM
sugar sugar is a female sugar is offline
Oh, honey honey.
Join Date: Jun 2005
View Posts: 2,157
Re: The Noble Exhumed -- Nightmares Pile Like Bodies

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Shademan View Post
Stranger Sacrifice

Kissing fiends found respite in an alcove.
Painfully, we ran through the motions
until mastery left us with beliefs so secure.
Russian Roulette engaged with emotions
We’re deepthroating daggers in a cemetery grove
Practice proceeded in hopes to succeed
beyond impassive limits that…

Care for us not--
Love us lovers not--
So the frame surrounding passion rots
like an ancient coffin returning to the Earth to
seek out new forms from formlessness.

Apologies, all you intense believers.
The stranger abstains from psychodrama
And is no more or less stable than you.
You know I'm just particles in your billion suns
Watching us carbon cartoon characters scream
"How could I lose...?"
One of the best I've ever read from you, my dear. I especially enjoyed the second stanza and it's subtle, somewhat unexpected rhyme, though it does nothing to interrupt the fluidity- rather, it contributes to it. The whole poem really flows quite nicely without sounding longwinded at all. All in all, another beautiful, thoughtful piece :].
__________________
Well I know it well:
That secret that you know, that you don't know how to tell
Reply With Quote