Okay. Pretty good post, I must say. Now then, just a few minor things:
You wrote:
Quote:
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‘It would seem that it may be in my best interest to play along with whatever is going on until I can figure it out for myself. And geez, whoever this Leos character is, he likes to talk almost as much as he likes to show off. Although, maybe I can appeal to that…’
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Should be:
Quote:
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It would seem that it may be in my best interest to play along with whatever is going on until I can figure it out for myself. And geez, whoever this Leos character is, he likes to talk almost as much as he likes to show off. Although, maybe I can appeal to that…
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Whenever your character has a thought, it is standard protocol to use italics. The same goes for letters or things being read. ^_^
You wrote:
Quote:
“Bad.” Tierra scolded.
“Fine. I’ll be back soon.” Tierra said.
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Should be:
Quote:
“Bad,” Tierra scolded.
“Fine. I’ll be back soon,” Tierra said.
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Whenever attaching action to something spoken or read or thought, use a comma to connect the dots... if you catch my drift.
Assignment Time:
Now that Tierra's got the treasure chest, it is time to open it up. Have her find something you think will be useful to her during her journey through the Dome. It can be anything you want, so long as it isn't too powerful. It could be a sword, or a jewel or anything you think would help make her a little stronger for her trials to come. I want you to describe this object and its chest with a maximum of 400 words. Good luck. ^_^