Few more things that just are not clear:
1) Why build a monument for Ganondorf? Maybe I am not seeing some greater picture, but it seems foolish to honor someone who nearly destroyed all that was good.
2) What makes Zelda think that the victory was a true victory? You say 'For some Reason' but this hardly explains it. I mean Link beat Ganondorf... that sounds like a victory to me.
3) Why does Zelda assume Ganondorf is no longer in this world? I mean this comes right out of no where. This one might just be a problem with me.
also when you say archives it has a feeling of the distant past. Why would she spend her time in a library, when she should be out helping Ordon. She makes no effort in trying to help them out. she watches the guard die and goes back to her research. Which might I add was never explained.
Also might want to work on your run-on sentences. This one in particular:
Quote:
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I have to find a way to contact Midna, her tribe has been around much longer than our tribe the Hylians have
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This just sounds bad in general. I am no grammar expert, in fact if my Grammar teacher saw me doing this he would flip out. This is from a readers point of view. You could rewrite it as.
Quote:
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"I must find a way to contact Midna. Her tribe has been around much longer then the Hylian race has.
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Well not that much better, but a start. Also Must sounds like a stronger word then 'have'
Well I will reach Chapter 2 tomorrow and tell you what I think.