Well I am all for saving the best for last, however you want to keep your readers reading, if everything is boring and bland you will lose your audience fast.... and I am talking fat guy getting to an All You Can Eat Beffet!

I am also fine with adding stuff original stuff to FanFics, however the way you wrote it left for no suspense or drama of any kind. There Zelda was rambling on about Midna and *poof* there she was. As a reader, thats just boring.

That chapter has an air of mystery about it. Who destroyed Ordon? Where is Link? Is Ganondorf alive? How to contact Midna?

Which would be fine... if you did not answer two of the questions right away. We learn that Ganondorf is alive and the problem of contacting Midna is immediatly answered.

Should have had Zelda go to the Sages for advice, have them do some fancy magic to summon her or something. Should have also kept Ganondorf in shadows, could it be him or is it someone new? Could have gradually revealed it was Ganondorf with subtle hints.

Another thing that bothered me was the fact that Zelda almost ignored the Ordon situation.

A guard died right before her eyes and all she did was sit back on her throne and began to think and do some research. You called her a kind ruler, but what kind of ruler lets a Guard die in front of her? She should have sent a small army to Ordon to investigate.

But she did nothing... Why?

__________________

[original looks better, but the site wont allow its awsomeness, so i had to shrink it a bit]