and I still haven't got past the first 10 minutes of the game
edit: new chapter

Chapter 4
Link: *Goes towards guy on ground, and stops* OK, I know it might sound odd, but, what the hell are you doing?
Guy on Ground: That’s a pig over there *nods in a general direction*
Link: *Looks in said general direction* Yes, yes it is, why are you looking at a pig?
GoG: I’m thinking of catching that pig for my wife.
Link: You want to get a pet, and you are getting a pig?
GoG: Yeah, why not? Hey, could you catch that pig for me, all you have to do is crawl towards it, and grab it. My wife would pay you.
Link: Pay, hmmm? Let me go and see Orca, and I’ll think about it.
GoG: Thanks Link!
Link: Just a question, why are you getting your wife a pig? Because I have heard that people get pets that look like them, are you trying to imply to your wife that she is fat?
GoG: *stares at Link*…hey, I just noticed that…
Link: OK, goodbye then.
GoG: Thanks Link.
Link: *walks away* *under breath* Weirdo *walks past Orca’s and Sturgeon’s house*
Sturgeon: Hey Link! L-target me!
Link: *Yells* Sturgeon, for the last time! L-targeting only happens in video games, you have to stop playing those Legend of Zelda games, they’re not real!
Ironic Silence
Link: Whatever *walks into Orca’s part of the house* Hey Orca! I need a sword!
Orca: Hyaaaaaah! I am not Orca! I am crouching cucco, hidden moblin!
Link: And I am, in need of a, sword. Have you been watching those Kung Fu movies again?
Orca: … Maybe.
Link: Dude, just give me a sword and some lessons.
Orca: What’s in it for me?
Link: …ummm, the pride of helping a young plucky boy with a dream involving hot babes and pointy swords?
Orca: *doesn’t appear to be buying it* … DEAL!
Link: OK, gimme the lessons!
Orca: OK.

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Credit to the awesome Ranil for the sig and the avatar.
My timeline theory