Thanks for the comments guys. This chapter will mark the last racist joke... Hopefully. Anyway Enjoy, not as long as the last one but the third one will be longer!

Chapter 1: “Wait this isn’t Final Fantasy”

Random Voice: The Next Day…

Link: Jeez, that was one nasty hang over…

Cell Phone: *Dings*

Link: Oh I have a message…

Phone Message: Link Help Me… I’m Trapped and…

Link: *Slams Phone* Again… Seriously what will be different this time?

Link: Well First I need to go get my usual Crap…

*Link Heads to Lon Lon Ranch and bar, and finds the ranch owners daughter on a stripper’s pole*

Link: Um’ Excuse me Miss…

Malon: Well, Howdy Dowdy Howdy Doo…

Link: Um Hi?

Malon: Well what can I get’cha Partner?

Link: Um I’m looking for a horse… And do you always talk like that?

Malon: Are you being racist against my type… I’m sorry I’m not like your damn city folk with their cement buildings and lamps…

Link: No I’m not, now how about that horse…

Malon: Sure… Wait I know you, your that no good rotten apple, cheater

Link: Well actually I’m a decedent of him...

Malon: Same thing! I don’t want to see you around my parts again! Epona get him!

Epona: *Gets on hind legs and kicks Link out of the area*

Random Voice: And so the day went on, the same as that. Link being recognized and shunned by everyone he needed to start the quest. He was now at a loss with nothing to help him continue on…

Cell Phone: *Rings*

Link: Hello?

Sale’s Person: Hello little boy are your Mommy and Daddy there?

Link: Hey! Mommy told me not to talk to you people you creepy Stalker…

Sale’s Person: Stalker? I just want to sell you something

Link: What do you have?

Sale’s Person: Well I see your needing some Rpg crap

Link: Rpg crap? This isn’t Final Fantasy… and wait how did you know I need stuff like that…

Bush: *Rustles*

Sale’s Person: Um… Lucky guess! It’s not like I’m hiding in a bush or anything…

Link: Oh ok! So where can I come buy this stuff?

Sale’s Person: Secretly come to 3523 Drury Lane and tap three times on the back door of the left building. Then say, “ Do you say the Muffin man?”

Link: “Do I Know the muffin man?”

Sale’s Person: Yes… Now come and we'll help you… for a price *Hangs Up*

Link: Mommy was wrong, these guys are nice people. Anyway I should start cutting things for some extra cash. I might be needing it… *Starts Slicing Things*

Bush: Get’s Sliced

Sale’s Person: *Dies*

Link: Ew… Who puts a sliced body in a bush?

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Thanks so much Tywar for helping me with my signature problems!