My turn at a Parody...

Prologue…

Random Voice: Long, long, ago, the land of Hyrule fell into a deep darkness. All the land was controlled by a humongous pig that had the power of darkness, lightning and rolling which came in handy when he took over the muddy swamps of the Duku. Anyway, when hope was lost, a boy clothed in green garb appeared and confronted Gannon. The boy ended up nearly dead crying in pain on the floor. The pig thought he won but the boy had one more trick up his sleeve…

Link: Hey Pig Look!

Gannon: What? *Turns around*

Link: *Stabs Gannon in the back of the head*

Gannon: Ouch… That was mean *Dies*

Link: SUCCESS!

Random Voice: So anyway after the land of Hyrule returned back to normal Link headed into Castle Town for a big festival or something in his name…

Link: I defeated Gannon guys! Time for celebration!

Villager 1: Shun the cheater Charlie…

Charlie: Shhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Villager 2: Shuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnn

Villager 1: Shuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnn

Random Voice: And that’s how it went on, since he didn’t beat Gannon fairly nobody loved link… not even Elmo. Anyway, centuries went by and a new Link was born, but he was also shunned, because he was a descendent of the old cheater. And so this continued for 10 generations… Then, when people found out that half of the Gerudo population were illegally imported Mexicans everyone lost interest in the Link descendents and moved on. More years passed… and the evil returned…
~~

Gannondorf: *Enters Hyrule Castle*

Guard: Halt in the name of the Royal Family… Please state your business

Gannondorf: Well I’m the delivery boy for Pizza Hut, and I’ve come to deliver a pizza to the scared items hidden away in the castle… Can you show me to them?

Guard: Well I’m not really suppose to…

Gannondorf: I have candy!

Guard: OMFG CANDY! Right this way kind sir.

Guard: *Shows Gannondorf where the scared items our hidden*

Gannondorf: *Gets Shown*

Guard: And they’re right through that door! Now what candy do you have!

Gannondorf: Jaw Breakers!

Guard: Oh goody!!!!

Gannondorf: * Reaches for pocket then Punches Guard in the jaw*

Guard: *Falls to ground in pain* Wow you missed your pocket completely… you must have some real “butter fingers”. Ha, Ha… *Passes out*

Gannondorf: Time for my “pay day”… *Blast open door and “snickers”

Random Voice: That’s four candy puns in three lines… stop it you “Nerds”… Sorry couldn’t resist…. Please continue.

Gannondorf: *Walks over to pedestal with a glowing orb…

Zelda: Stop Fiend! *Jumps in front of pedestal with 5 knights*

Gannondorf: No… I don’t feel like it, what are you going to do to stop me!

Guard 2: He has a point.

Zelda: Shut up… Oh wait I know… I’ve seen how to stop him on Nick Jr.!

Guard 4: Nick Jr…

Zelda: Yeah Watch! *Puts out hand* Gannon no swiping! Gannon no swiping! GANNON NO SWIPING!

Gannondorf: Tough **** princess! *Blasts everyone with thunder bolts*

Zelda: Dang you Nick Jr. Betrayed me again… I am migrating over to Playhouse Disney!

Guard 3: So what are we going to do? We can’t beat Gannondorf alone…

Zelda: Well there is a show on Playhouse Disney Called Higgly Town Heroes… Maybe stuff from that show will help us… *In Song* Someone Special who could it be?

Guard 5: This job’s to big for you and me…

Guard 1: We need some help but never fear-o…

All: This looks like a job… For a Hyrule Town Hero!
Room: …

Zelda: … Um Link was suppose to magically appear out of no where and sing and defeat Gannondorf…

Gannondorf: Phail… You lost princess!

Zelda: *Sob* Link! Where the hell are you!

Random Voice: Miles away at the Milk Bar

Link: Hic! Another cold one Bill!
~~

Bill the Bartender: Hey Link… Link wake up!

Link: Zzzzzz

Bill: Please get up…

Link: Zzzz

Bill: Link you better get the **** up or I’ll **** You To **** Where you will **** with my **** Mother in law … ****

Link: … Wha? Haz I brought *Hic* Sexz back yetz?

Bill: Ugh… *Drags Link out of the bar by his feet*

Link: *Falls back asleep*

Random Voice: Hey I’ve seen this story before but where…

Conker: Me too… But where?

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Thanks so much Tywar for helping me with my signature problems!