Oh my god. As the son of an author, I feel obligated to address the fatal flaws of this "novel", for the sake of good writing.

1. uze a speelchekor!11!
2. Aren't novels supposed to be longer than two and a half pages?
3. Chapter titles use colons, not commas.
4. I was hard-pressed to find any coherent sentences.
4.5. Actually, there were a lot of run-on sentences.
5. The plot makes no sense at all.
6. Every (Good) author knows to use paragraphs.
7. My dog puts more thought into what he does on the lawn than you put into your "novel"

Now, if you don't mind, I refuse to let this document taint my computer any longer.

__________________

Signature and Avatar by Midori-Rinku

<Wind Waker: Four Swords Edition! By Midori-Rinku> <OOT Retelling By Aralith>

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ranil, after being defeated in Brawl by the power of taunts Oh shut the **** up. You're being so immature right now. I have every right to leave if I'm being annoyed by someone's stupid taunts.