04-14-2008, 11:39 PM
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I apologize, but this is who I am
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Location: Queen's England
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Re: But I Forgive You
No one seems to be reading this but I still need to store this online for if I'm college and want to write more or whatever. So hes some more.
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After getting off of the bus full of hypocrites and *****es, he began the short walk home trying to force his brain into coming up with insults against the *****es on the bus who had a fascination with talking about gays, yet when someone asks them about why they are putting on make up with a trowel they automatically jump in a girly screech to "did you just call me a whore?! did'ja?! My boyfriend will kick your ass! well?! what didja say?!" They'd scream, then after a pain stakingly long silence her other face would reappear and they'd continue with taking about soaps, gays and how they have the best boyfriends.
This was probably one of the most torturous events in Jay's day, atleast in the mornings these girls were *****ing about their own imperfections and as soon as evening comes their little coven would turn around and start judging the rest of the world, Including Jay; "have you got a girlfriend yet? are you frigid? are you gay? are you a virgin? do you think I'm pretty? if she asked would you go out with Melissa?" insulting him and each other, who knew the outside world was full of such *****es. Jay walked slowly his brain was currently hosting a tennis match of thought bouncing from Reece to how these girls think or if they even do.
The girls was the topic that terrified him the least so that was the one that popped up most, and finally the walk was over. Welcome "home". No one noticed Jay come home, didn't seem like anyone cared much either. His mum was fighting with her husband about how hes a moron and then he'd come back with how she loves the dogs she breeds over her own husband and children.
Nothing new here today: same old, same old. Jay slid past them into the kitchen to get whatever had survived his glutton but un-fat sister had spared in her daily assault on the fridge; an out of date yogurt and microwave pizza. Well there is dinner for today. Jay slipped back past the world war seventy six going on between his parents (minus a father) vanished into his room
Jay sat alone in his room for hours, he sat frozen on his bed, eyes open, pondering. Fantasizing about what tomorrow could bring, what could tomorrow could lead to. Social destruction, the begining of a relationship with the love of his life, his last day as a depressed boy? His brain was on steorids throwing around new ideas but this robust energy did not seem to want to share with the rest of him, he felt heavy and lifeless on the outside. Fear, hope, faith, more hope were terrorising his mind, twisting his heart around and around until it felt like everytime it beated a hand emerged and crushed it down to a small ball then it would beat again. What should he do? Jay slid of his bed almost falling to the ground from his slumpy still shoe wearing feet got caught in the duvet.
He russled through one of his desk draws, it was a mess. Full of random things he would never use yet wouldn't throw out incase he ever would need them for some absurd task in the future. He pulled out his phone, the one he was meant to have with him at all time incase of emergencies, but over time it had gone one of fashion and this temperamental little brick of dead weight had a mind of its own, randomly switching itself on and off, which would always make a loud tone, and would even ignore the fact you'd hit silent so many times just seemed to make it more defiant. It was a useless block but it had the only two things Jay needed for what his thoughts has thought out; Reece's Mobile Number and Credit.
He began slowly hitting the keys like some retiree who'd just discovered mobile phones, ok so Jay wasn't exactly in with the cool crowd, who all had the latest phones. He didn't care, said phone will be out of fashion and barely worth 1/3 of what you originally paid for it anyways. Slowly the little message shape but was often edited from the button punching typos. "Can u skip 1st period tomoz, I need 2 c where we sand" Jay read it back and hover over the button to send then noticed yet another typo. Sand? Stand! Jay punched the 8 key to insert a T and heard it crack, well a t was on screen but the 8 key was in his palm . . . well that wasn't good. He clicked send and fumbled trying to reunite the fallen 8 to it's useless parent. Finally Jay gave up. Chances are Reece wouldn't reply he'd just wait outside school for him and probably kick his ass, its not he'd need to put that in a text message before hand. Jay sat back down on his bed and let gravity do it job and fell down onto the duvet that was now in a weird ball from jay yanking it with his foot.
After 5 minutes of blank thoughts he heard his chest of draws buzz, Its probably running out of battery again Jay sighed to himself mentally then the phone sang a little song of "Dun a ner ner!!! Dun a ner ner!!!" His heart just did some whacky somersault inside his chest. It was the message received tone. He scrambled up from the bed and as he got up once again caught his foot in the duvet and fell to the grand and smacking his head against the bed side cabinet on the way down to the laminate flooring; which his face made a full fledged smack with. "ahh!" Jay silently moaned to himself clutching his head and almost succumbing to the desire to assume the fetal position. Until the phone vibrated again and sang its ear attacking tone "Dun a ner ner!!! Dun a ner ner!!!"
He slid onto his knees, rubbing his head with his hand with eyes closed and his mouth uttering random profanities that weren't really making the pain subside at all. Jay reached up and grabbed the phone, then rose to his feet and went to press the ok button which would open the next message then; "Dun a ner ner!!! Dun a ner ner!!!" made Jay jump and the phone flew across the room and hit the wall and fell onto the floor in three separate parts. The phone, the battery and the back piece. "Oh for **** sake" he muttered to himself forcing a sigh and lowering his eyes to a "I hate you" stare at the indisposed nokia phone.
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EDIT----
Another segment.
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Jay dropped his shoulders in another head lowering, epic sigh. This stupid phone, he'd of stamped on it, if it wasn't holding secrets hostage until he put it back together, Humpdy Dumpy never used emotional blackmail to get himself fixed, but in hindsight I think he would of had he known how that rhyme ends. Jay shuffled across the room to where the phone pieces lay awaiting reconfiguration; he put the battery back and the case on. He stabbed his finger at the on button awaiting the screen to ignite itself in pale green light but it didn't. He poked hard at the button until it the light finally came on, and displayed his welcome message he'd been meaning to change for months now of "You've turned me on, now play with me" then it flashed a huge battery logo and cut itself to black, Jay gripped the phone in his fist and began to squeeze as a way of not punching the wall or anything else in his room; taking deep slow breath trying to stop the bull like rage growing.
He returned to his messy draw and saw the end of the charger cable and pulled until it pinged out and hit him in the shin, but he was so tense with being "calm" that he didn't feel it. He took out a plug from the wall socket and his alarm clock went off "great" he sighed to himself, this was a bad day, a very very bad day. He plugged in the phone and plunged the small cable head into the phone and left it until the light came on with the giant battery logo and the little bars appearing. He starred mindlessly at it for around 5 minutes until then one bar had been filled then widely stabbed On, almost instantaneously. The screen came on and the welcome message he had to change but probably wouldn't remember. He went into his text messages and inbox and click on the new message from Reece, it wasn't the declaration of love or hope that Jay had been searching for, just a one word text "Why?" Jay's tongue filled up his cheek and his mouth swayed to side which was his facial expression that was a mash up of "sigh" and "oh for **** sake".
Jay clicked the button for reply and began slow poking the buttons until he need a T. He looked around frantically his head shaking from side to side to see where he left that 8 key. Eventually he just picked up a drawing pin with a broken off spike and wedged it into the small hole that was under each key and used it as his new T key, but the problem was he couldn't always remember what 8 represented in the alphabet and that made texting "Because I think we should talk this out, for the sake of our friendship" take even longer than it would with a perfect working phone. Finally it came, the message sent screen. Jay exhaled with relief and sat back down on his bed then fell backward again landing on his bed sheet, the duvet was half on the floor and half on the bed, his brain wasn't really on the how the bed looks, but what Reece would send back. Would it be good? Would it be a yes? Or would it be a reply full of "txt tlk" homophobic profanities. Around 10 minutes later the dread but awaited tone reared his ugly head; "Dun a ner ner!!! Dun a ner ner!!!" it screeched electronically raping Jay's sense of hearing. He was getting quite fast now Click. Go to texts. Click. Go to Inbox. Click. Open the new message. "k. But I wanna b bak for duble science period 3"
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