I've seen a few of these, and I thought I would try my hand at it, here are the first two chapters, Read and review.

Chapter 1
Aryll: Hoy, Big Brother!
Link: *Wakes up* Aaaaaaaaaaargh! Don’t creep up on me like that, you creepy creeper-person you!
Aryll: O…K, well, do you know what day it is?
Link: …Um, Tuesday?
Aryll: No, it’s Wednesday, and your birthday.
Link: Oh, is that all, well, let me go back to sleep… wait a second… *begins thinking*… BIRTHDAY! Woohoo! *Begins punching air above his head* Present time!
Aryll: Actually, no.
Link: *Stops in mid-air punch* … what? *Eye begins to twitch* Why not?
Aryll: Well, Grandma spent all the Rupees we were going to buy your presents with on gin and soup mix.
Link: … Noooooooooooooo! Life isn’t worth living anymore! I shall throw myself from this very high place you call a lookout, when not even the scurviest pirate type person would recommend this place to his friends.
Aryll: *Eyebrow raised* Thanks. Anyway, Grandma wants to see you, don’t get hurt, remember the last time she was hung over, and she thought that the bruise on my left arm was a pig, and she started smacking my arm with a stick.
Link: Vividly. *Link jumps* Goodbye cruel world! *Crash* Owww.
Aryll: *Looks over side of lookout* You still alive?
Link: Unfortunately.
Aryll: Well, go to Grandma, she has something to give you.
Link: I thought you said she didn’t get me anything, on account of her being alcoholic.
Aryll: Hey, I said she didn’t buy you anything, I didn’t say she didn’t get you anything.
Link: *Begins swimming towards Grandma’s house because it’s faster that way* Why do I have a sense of terrible foreboding?

Chapter 2
Link: Now, I’m out of the filthy salty sea water, I’ll go to Grandma’s, and if I remember rightly, the only reason I was out there last night is because when Grandma gets drunk, she not only thinks I’m grandpa, she also thinks she is a teenager. *Shudders* But, I could be wrong; the fumes of the alcohol could have had an unknown affect on my mind. *Opens front door* Grandma, I’m home! Where are you? Did you get stuck up there again? You know you’re not allowed to climb ladders anymore!
Grandma: Come up here, Link, I’ve got something to show you.
Link: This doesn’t sound good. Umm, no, that’s OK Grandma, I’d rather live.
Grandma: Come up here now, or face the wrath of an irritated old lady with two kids to look after because their parents decided to go on a world tour and not come back!
Link: OK, OK, I’m coming *climbs ladder* Now Grandma, what is… *sees empty drinks bottles* Oh Din, Grandma, how much did you drink?
Grandma: Never mind that now, I’ve got something to give you, now as Aryll may have told you, I spent a bit too much of the money I was going to buy your presents with on gin, soup and toys for Aryll.
Link: She didn’t mention the toys, if they were expensive; I am going to be so pissed.
Grandma: They were.
Link: Damn. So, uh, what did you want to give me?
Grandma: Well, last night, I wandered out of the house because Aryll was at Zill’s and Joel’s, and you were in that treehouse thing.
Link: Who are Zill and Joel?
Grandma: That weird kid who hasn’t heard of tissues and his brother, the one with the stick, they follow you around like lost puppies.
Link: Oh yeah.
Grandma: Well, I wandered out of the house in my drunken state, and fell into a bush, when I had pulled myself together; I found your present under a bush.
Link: *Now interested* Present?
Grandma: These clothes, which are supposed to look like the Hero of Time’s clothes, but chances are these couldn’t protect you from the weakest of bad guys.
Link: Thanks for the vote of support Grandma.
Grandma: Shut up, take your clothes. *Gives Hero’s clothes to Link*
Da da da daaaaaa! You got the stupid Hero’s clothes that Grandma found under a bush. They smell of alcohol, but I’d put them on or Grandma will get angry, and who knows what she’ll do then.
Grandma: What the hell?
Link: I don’t know.
Grandma: Well, whatever, go find Aryll.
Link: For my birthday party?
Grandma: No, I want her to clean up all these empty bottles, what on earth has that girl been drinking?
Link: Uh, Grandma, those bottles are yours…
Grandma: NO THEY’RE NOT! NOW GO GET ARYLL, OR I WILL KILL YOU!
Link: Aaaargh! *Runs screaming from house*

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Credit to the awesome Ranil for the sig and the avatar.
My timeline theory